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Old 02-04-2018, 04:09 AM   #41 (permalink)
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As with much of the AA program I try and keep things simple.

I work with women who are half my age or younger. Let's say for the sake of fantasy a few were actually interested in me. How would I handle it? Well, I would have to weight the pros/cons. On one side the young ladies are quite attractive and on the other side if my wife found out it wouldn't be pretty.

So..., I would pass like I did 20 years ago when I still had my hair and a 32 inch waist. I was happy with my marriage and because I was sober I could play relationship out in my head. And the relationship always ended bad.

I know a few AA fellows who cheat on their wife but that's on them. Once I found myself in an apartment with an AA member and a couple of call girls but I decided to split. It's not my scene anymore.

(Which isn't to say I haven't paid for hookers. 35 years I recall being asked after a business trip if I had paid for sex. I said not only did I spend all my money on girls I traded my Walkman too.)
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Old 02-21-2018, 05:40 AM   #42 (permalink)
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some people say the sex inventory is about sex,others say relationships,still others say character defects.I found out by doing my sex inventory it is about all those and it is about my HP too.
I made my sex list out,withholding nothing.I put it all on paper.I went thru those questions on page 69 I think it is
I wrote out the answers to all these questions
Where had we been selfish
, dishonest,
or inconsiderate?
Whom had we hurt?
Did we unjustifiably arouse
jealousy,
suspicion
or bitterness?
Where were we at fault,
what should we have done instead?
I saw a lot of harms done to myself and to others.I saw a level of harm I never saw before.
I also saw my character defects of selfishness and dishonesty in the first 2 questions.In the 3rd question it was my actions in my life based on my defects and the next question 4 was those harms.I saw still more harms in the next 4 questions.
Final question showed me sanity,where the first questions showed me my insanity.

I also found out those last 2 questions are simple good questions I can ask myself in any inventory

where was I at fault?
What should I have done instead?
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Old 02-26-2018, 11:25 PM   #43 (permalink)
No Dogma Please
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ken33xx View Post
(Which isn't to say I haven't paid for hookers. 35 years I recall being asked after a business trip if I had paid for sex. I said not only did I spend all my money on girls I traded my Walkman too.)
I just laughed and water came out of my nose.
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Old 06-29-2018, 11:38 PM   #44 (permalink)
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This thread is great. This happens to be one of my favourite topics (yes, really!).

Who is freya? She sounds amazing.

I have had an interest in authentic sexual expression (and exploration) for many years, seeing it as a physical mode of spiritual development. Society being the way it is, there is nothing easy about accessing repressed sexual desires, expressing them in a healthy way ... and, for the gold star, communicating them to a partner. That communication needs to be direct and yet sensitive, the partner needs to be mature, respectful and absolutely trustworthy.

I abstained for the first year of sobriety and then met a wonderful partner. I can't tell you how quickly it became obvious this person was worth waiting for and I'm so glad I found him after I had done a lot of growing up.

None of our subsequent explorations could have been done while I was drinking. Absolutely NONE would have been as profound and soulful.

Imagine two travellers walking down a path overgrown with weeds and vines, able to make our way only by working together constantly (verbalising, listening, reflecting inwardly, asking), and thus being rewarded again and again with treasures along the way. That's the path.

We are not currently together but we still talk. What do you think we talk about most? Ha. The exploration continues.

This journey is one of the most exciting things that has happened to me post-sobriety. I haven't been able to express it on this forum much at all so thank you to the OP for starting this thread - although I'm no biker!!
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Old 06-30-2018, 12:40 AM   #45 (permalink)
No Dogma Please
 
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Sober sex, and everything leading up to it, is SO much better than sex involving any substance.

Srsly.
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