hopeandfaith

I am in a tough spot right now. I am/was an addict for 23 years, thought I bottomed out. Went searching for answers. All the sudden something changed, and I started looking for good and hope in everything. I became willing to help myself, and felt the presense of a higher power enter my life. For six months things got better and better, I rebuilt old friendships, and started taking care of myself.

Then all the sudden, as fast as it came, it went away. I'm gradually falling back into old habits, and while I am taking right action, I am fading into more and more wrong action.

I feel like I was lifted up, and converted into recovery, then rejected it b/c it was too good or something. I feel really hopeless right now. I know its not about willpower, but I'm no longer willing to think/feel positively like I was before.

Have you ever heard of anyone go to AA, get better, leave AA, and then the magic happen a second time? Its happened once for me, but now its gone. Please tell me the truth, that it can come back, that my willingness to help myself can come back.

historyteach

Hi, Hopeandfaith!
And welcome to SR!

Guy will be here to answer your concerns.
I just want to welcome you aboard.
And why not take a look at the substance abuse board or teh NA board. There will be lots of people there who understand what you're dealing with.

I stopped smoking almost sic months ago. It's been rough; and some days are better than others. Some days, I'm almost sick over the loss of my comfort stick. But, for me, it's a matter of doing the next right thing, day after day; choice after choice. Even when I want to light up.
Focus on your behaviors.
It's working for me, after 36 years of smoking....
You CAN do this...

Shalom!