Please help quickly...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Hi Sohard
My dad and I used to drink together too - not to excess - but while one or two would be more than enough for him, my Beast was awakened. When I could, as soon as I could, I'd go back to drinking round the clock
I don't think he really understands why I'm not drinking, but he did get a 'no thanks'. I think it took a while, but he's ok with it now.
I'm all for being s nice guy - I'm even ok with people pleasing sometimes - but not when it might mean my destruction.
Use an excuse if you'd rather not open the whole alcoholic issue right now, but say no.
D
My dad and I used to drink together too - not to excess - but while one or two would be more than enough for him, my Beast was awakened. When I could, as soon as I could, I'd go back to drinking round the clock
I don't think he really understands why I'm not drinking, but he did get a 'no thanks'. I think it took a while, but he's ok with it now.
I'm all for being s nice guy - I'm even ok with people pleasing sometimes - but not when it might mean my destruction.
Use an excuse if you'd rather not open the whole alcoholic issue right now, but say no.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Derringer
Its just one glass of wine
Surely this wouldn't hurt
Its a special occasion with my Mom, thats a good reason right ?
Its cold and I'm bored, wine might help
I'm betting that is whats going through your mind.
False evidence.
Surely this wouldn't hurt
Its a special occasion with my Mom, thats a good reason right ?
Its cold and I'm bored, wine might help
I'm betting that is whats going through your mind.
False evidence.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: NC
Posts: 5,156
Originally Posted by Sohard
good point. This is a good point. It’s not here yet. But it will be soon. It’s just so tempting. But tomorrow would be hell. I’d be starting ALL OVER.
You want to be sober or you would not have been for 257 days.
You do not want to drink, that is why you have not for 257 days.
Stay with us
we are here
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
Originally Posted by Sohard
and your dad sounds like my mom. Last night she had 1 glass of wine and didn’t even finish the glass. I’ll never understand that.
You can't explain to these type of people, so don't try, just say no thanks and she'll just pass by that in 2 seconds flat.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by fishkiller
Yes
You want to be sober or you would not have been for 257 days.
You do not want to drink, that is why you have not for 257 days.
Stay with us
we are here
You want to be sober or you would not have been for 257 days.
You do not want to drink, that is why you have not for 257 days.
Stay with us
we are here
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 293
Just think about your eyes creaking open in the early hours of the next morning and for a moment you wonder why your mouth is bone dry and your head feels like it weighs a 100 lbs. And then it will all come back. 257 days down the drain and for what?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Derringer
Yeah thats my Mom too, if she ever finishes one, it takes so long ... I'm sure all the alcohol has evaporated anyway.
You can't explain to these type of people, so don't try, just say no thanks and she'll just pass by that in 2 seconds flat.
You can't explain to these type of people, so don't try, just say no thanks and she'll just pass by that in 2 seconds flat.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Gettingcloser
Just think about your eyes creaking open in the early hours of the next morning and for a moment you wonder why your mouth is bone dry and your head feels like it weighs a 100 lbs. And then it will all come back. 257 days down the drain and for what?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
YOU don't want to drink. Otherwise you would not be posting for help. Your ALCOHOLISM wants you to drink. This is a serious situation. It doesn't matter what your mum believes or doesn't believe... if she is ordering wine and you cannot leave and you are wanting to drink then you need to tell her NOW. Drinking alcohol is a life or death situation for people like us. Just that one little drink that your alcoholism is right now telling you will be comforting will set off the craving for more and more and more and you won't be able to stop. You will throw away 250 plus days of sobriety and you will have to start all over again. We always do. We are alcoholics. We cannot ever drink safely or moderately. You will come to tomorrow feeling full of terror, despair guilt and shame. Sick, swearting, heart racing, desperate thirst. And for what? Because your mother doesnt believe in addiction? Because you are bored? You may not even make it back if you pick up this evening. Many don't. My last drink nearly killed me. I dont want to find out what will happen if I pick up again.
This is your life ! Do whatever it takes to save it!
This is your life ! Do whatever it takes to save it!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Originally Posted by Sohard
but the problem is that right now I feel like I really WANT it. I want to not want it right now. I need to not want it right now.
but...I'm betting that you, the real you SoHard, the real you as opposed to your Beast, the you who is author of many posts here over many months, does not want to drink.
You may be thinking it's easier to drink than fight or disappoint your mom, you may be thinking one drink won't hurt - you'll just sip at it right? - and you may be thinking you can go back to being sober after this drinking, but that's all your addicted self.
For me recovery is not about not wanting to drink.
I wanted to drink sometimes my first two years and some occasions after that.
Its about wanting to drink but not drinking.
Its about knowing the difference between you and your addiction,
its about choosing what you know is the right road - a little short term pain for long term gain.
Thoughts are thoughts - it's what we do with them that counts.
That's a true measure of recovery.
You can still make the right call, SoHard
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 293
OK, if it helps I'll keep going for one more just to get you through this:
Spending all day tomorrow vibrating with withdrawals, ugly hopeless depression and self disgust.
Who you are right now is a hero compared to that thing you will become tomorrow if you drink tonight.
Spending all day tomorrow vibrating with withdrawals, ugly hopeless depression and self disgust.
Who you are right now is a hero compared to that thing you will become tomorrow if you drink tonight.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,283
Originally Posted by Dee74
The Beast and AV is about all I know about AVRT. You would know more.
but...I'm betting that you, the real you SoHard, the real you as opposed to your Beast, the you who is author of many posts here over many months, does not want to drink.
You may be thinking it's easier to drink than fight or disappoint your mom, you may be thinking one drink won't hurt - you'll just sip at it right? - and you may be thinking you can go back to being sober after this drinking, but that's all your addicted self.
For me recovery is not about not wanting to drink.
I wanted to drink sometimes my first two years and some occasions after that.
Its about wanting to drink but not drinking.
Its about knowing the difference between you and your addiction,
its about choosing what you know is the right road - a little short term pain for long term gain.
Thoughts are thoughts - it's what we do with them that counts.
That's a true measure of recovery.
You can still make the right call, SoHard
D
but...I'm betting that you, the real you SoHard, the real you as opposed to your Beast, the you who is author of many posts here over many months, does not want to drink.
You may be thinking it's easier to drink than fight or disappoint your mom, you may be thinking one drink won't hurt - you'll just sip at it right? - and you may be thinking you can go back to being sober after this drinking, but that's all your addicted self.
For me recovery is not about not wanting to drink.
I wanted to drink sometimes my first two years and some occasions after that.
Its about wanting to drink but not drinking.
Its about knowing the difference between you and your addiction,
its about choosing what you know is the right road - a little short term pain for long term gain.
Thoughts are thoughts - it's what we do with them that counts.
That's a true measure of recovery.
You can still make the right call, SoHard
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
P.s I think it is absolutely amazing you came here and posted for help. That is how it is done, how we do it! Like Dee said, we may feel like or think that we want to drink, I mean of course we will we are alcoholics after all, but it is what we do with those feelings and thoughts that matter. You are having the urge and you have come here and posted. Now put on the action. In similar situations I have had I have prayed to my Highter Power, please do not let me pick up a drknk today!. Get some food asap. A bread roll to start nibbling on. A nice soft drink. I have said to myself, not today. I will not drink today no matter what. If I still feel like this tomorrow then I can always drink tomorrow but i will get my head on my pillow sober tonight.
I have never ever woken up and regretted not drinking.
I have never ever woken up and regretted not drinking.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,571
I really don't think it has anything to with what your mother wants or believes. It's about what you want and believe.
Maybe a good opportunity to stand your ground with mother.
It has to happen some time.
I really hope you stand your ground. She'll get over it, but maybe you won't if you decide to drink.
Maybe a good opportunity to stand your ground with mother.
It has to happen some time.
I really hope you stand your ground. She'll get over it, but maybe you won't if you decide to drink.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by Sohard
I feel like the decision is out of my hands. Like I’m destined to drink. I always think I’m past this. ****.
Understand if you drink it's entirely your decision. I hope you back away from the ledge.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
It's not about hope and try, so hard. 
I don't have to hope and try not to rob anyone today, or hope and try not to assault someone.
I just won't. That is not who I am.
I don't have to say or do anything that is antithetical to who I really am.
You don't have to either.
To get what it wants your addicted self needs you to co-operate. It can't raise that glass to your lips itself. It has no arms.No mouth of its own.
You really hold all the power here.,
There is not hope not , or try not to.
its no - under any circumstances.
You can do this - no question
D
I don't have to hope and try not to rob anyone today, or hope and try not to assault someone.
I just won't. That is not who I am.
I don't have to say or do anything that is antithetical to who I really am.
You don't have to either.
To get what it wants your addicted self needs you to co-operate. It can't raise that glass to your lips itself. It has no arms.No mouth of its own.
You really hold all the power here.,
There is not hope not , or try not to.
its no - under any circumstances.
You can do this - no question
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
