What is the most important advice most often rejected by newcomers?
 

What is the most important bit of advice on getting sober that is most often rejected by newcomers and those who don't get sober?

That you cant do it alone. I tried on my own many times, it never worked.

Not sure i was given the 2 wolves first and it really resonated so much with me

I have a small framed picture in my bedroom of it that has stuck with me for nearly 2 years

That moderation can be successful.

I don't know... I came here first in 2011 and posted some sort of intention twice, a few months apart, that I wanted to quit drinking... got lots of good suggestions and pretty much ignored all of them. Nothing specific to reject, I just did not truly want to stop at the time, I think. Then again in 2014, and at that point I don't think I rejected any single piece of advice because I was sooo done and ready.

In general, I think what BuddinK said... probably that was also part of my issue in 2011 -- not ready to truly seek help, just a superficial cry. Then from my experience on SR in sobriety, another one I see, that often leads to relapse and disappearance of the person is that recovery requires consistent work, we can't just put and end to it and move on after a few months, or get distracted. And of course all the different levels of denial, when someone more experienced tries to point out patterns in someone's thinking or efforts that are not necessarily supportive of sobriety or could be potentially dangerous... and that is taken with resistance and different levels of frustration, which then never truly lifts, and the *** happens. Also the "not taking action" thing is discussed all over this place all the time, thinking and planning a lot, looking into resources, but not acting on them. And then again, resistance towards reminders.

The advice that you need to take action. For 99% of us, there is more to quitting than just quitting.

One of the things I have seen that tends to get disregarded, is protecting your sobriety, especially in the early stages (e.g. not going to hang out with friends in bars).

Agreed that not doing it alone was something I heard a lot and ignored, ended up drinking worse everytime. Finally listened- reaching out to here, AA, my dr and friends has given me 56 days so far, my longest period in 10 years. It's also changed my thinking quite a bit already so if I were to relapse, I know I would get help again and have a much better shot than if I were alone
I for one can't do this alone, and that's the first time in my life I've felt that way. Wish I listened sooner!

Do not touch that 1st drink.

Keep going back to AA. ( I never listened last time)

To drink or not to drink is always your choice.

Make the one that will save your life.

I think that newbies often underestimate the changes they will need to make in their lives. It's not just about the alcohol. It's about so much more.

In no particular order of rejection...

• Don't think you can stop for a little while and then resume drinking normally.
  
• Tapering rarely works
  
• See a doctor if you are concerned about withdrawal
  
• Don't go on that all-inclusive vacation (or wedding, or rock concert, or class reunion, Super Bowl party) your first week of sobriety
  
• Find something else non-alcoholic to drink beside NA beer
  
• If what you are doing isn't working, try something else
  
• Relapse is part of the addiction, not part of recovery
  
• Come up with a plan to support your decision to quit drinking

For me, it was "you don't need painkillers, benzo's" ( I have chronic pain & anxiety issues. ) And my mother abused prescription pain meds all her life, to the day she died. So, needless to say, my fam pretty much pegged me as a drug addict, but, not once, did it ever help to tell me I didn't need my meds!
What did help was getting hooked on heroin ( 4mos ) after being kicked to the curb by my hubby's PA ( long story! Lol! )

Oops, think I got off subject a bit!!! ;)

The best advice that I got, that luckily I heeded, was to make myself accountable. When I first decided to quit drinking, I even considered "just keeping it to myself", like not even telling my husband. HA! Any time I felt really compelled to drink, especially in the beginning months, I told on myself here and with others in my "real" life. My October 2013 mates strongly suggested that I tell a group of women who I always go on an annual GW with that I had quit drinking before I went on the trip and that was KEY! I know that if I had I just used myself as accountability, I would still be drinking today. (I am almost 18 months sober.)

I really agree with this too, being accountable is soo far from my natural instinct to want to hide everything, but telling friends and family, forming friendships/exchanging numbers in AA and posting the TRUTH here- especially if I'm considering drinking, has really helped me so far.

Don't drink....NO MATTER WHAT! ( I always had a few "whats" left). I'm not so sure any advice would have helped me. I didn't quit until I was done. I give AVRT credit this time around (it just clicked) but I had already decided this would be it. I've been very active in AA in the past, helped start a Unity church, pursued everything from being baptized 3 times to ACIM to Reiki attunements to Mr. Tolle and have settled with "Just Sitting" for spiritual practice. (I don't regret any of those forays). I forget. Every time I drank after years of sobriety, I forgot how bad it could get and was doing well in life. From what I've seen in the rooms and elsewhere this is pretty normal but this time I will be an Abby.....Abbynormal:)

That the best day to stop is today, right now.

To be patient - go easy on yourself - things will get better. We say it so often, but no one really wants to hear it in the beginning. We want instant gratification - I know I did. :)

It's not so much that I wanted to hide everything as I wanted to keep my options open...you know, in case my brain came up with new and better ideas. Ack...I'm guilty of this one.

I do think underestimating the scale of the effort is a key one, but also I think there is a tendency to either not try any changes in life or to try to make them all in the first week. Edit: Yes, being patient with the rate of change is important.

"One more thought...advice which is rejected by newcomers"
As a newcomer, it was actually the "lack of advice" from addicts which discouraged me ( but, only for a min.! :) )
I'm persistent ( but, what about all others? )