An attempt of an answer to Shire, and others... Shire pulled up an old thread written by an alcoholic's widow. It's a very very powerful thread and it reiterates what is written here. so it started out as this: Alcoholism only has the one outcome, Shire. It's a terminal condition that can be treated but never cured. It infects / affects / inflicts everyone around the person Like a stone thrown into a still pond. But when the focus is shifted from the problem into the Solution... When the energy, the dedication, the obsession that is put into drinking is put into recovery - Alcoholism and alcoholics have the same effect on the world around them. We truly can become majickal beings. And again - as stones cast into a still pond - we roar, float, crash, lap, and drift through life touching everyone and everything with beauty. With hope. With joy. With recovery. Repair. Renewal. we absolutely affect everyone with a fascination and enthusiasm for with life that few others have. Because for us - us alcoholics - us drunks .... The sky is just a little bit blue-er than the one everyone else sees. The grass is a million blades of green and at the same time a single lawn. A tree is a thousand leaves dancing in the wind and at the same time an ancient sentient being. Our laughter is more free and sparkling with light. And love is deeper and far more intense. We are contagious in a healing way. And for that - I wouldn't trade being an alcoholic for anything. For that continual baffling wonderment with this world. When I have my little moments of clarity, I ache a little bit for every fool who's loved me. Because I've never known what I know now. And at the same time I wouldn't take a single one of 'em back for all the tea in China- although I lved every one of 'em. In these flashing moments of clarity I can see what I nightmare I am when I'm not standing inside who I really am. When I want YOU to make me better, when I want YOU to take care of me... when I want YOU ... to make me matter. When I want YOU ... to make me see what you apparently see. I'm at a place with my obsession however- I'm beginning to see for myself what they all saw in me. And it ain't too dang bad. Sadly, my new friend not all of us alcoholics can do what we you will meet in recovery have done. Not all of us can turn everything around. And that is what is meant when we sadly say that some of us had to die in order for others of us to live. Are they, then less worthy of love? Less worthy... of OUR love? And there begins the dance of the Codependent. When you're with an alcoholic you ... for a while on occasion can also see this brighter world. you can also feel this deeper intensity. And feel the warmth of a brighter sun beneath a larger sky. It's why we love them. It's for damn sure why we're addicted to them. I'm not sure why that came out the way it did - but I thoguht it was something a tad bigger than just another post on a thread. Might have had a 'moment' there. LOL Thanks for letting me share. :ghug3 |
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