Hat Hair...cookie recipes...fashion advise
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
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Hat Hair...cookie recipes...fashion advise
So the Beav is off to prison...I guess there is a distinction between jail and prison...the joint. That gives me another hat to wear...mother of a convicted felon. He is already talking about needing "write-outs" when he gets there so he can trade for cigarettes. How does he even know this stuff?
I guess I do have a question tho and could use a bit of input...what does one do when someone is in the pokey? Send out change of address cards?? Tell gramma?? Pass the hat among the family? Do I stock up on files to insert in home baked cookies? Can I buy store bought cookies with preinserted files?
Hiding in this sarcastic assult is a mother whose almost worst nightmare has been realized. So what does one wear?
Hugs,
JT
I guess I do have a question tho and could use a bit of input...what does one do when someone is in the pokey? Send out change of address cards?? Tell gramma?? Pass the hat among the family? Do I stock up on files to insert in home baked cookies? Can I buy store bought cookies with preinserted files?
Hiding in this sarcastic assult is a mother whose almost worst nightmare has been realized. So what does one wear?
Hugs,
JT
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
((((( JT! )))))
As far as I know, there is no official guidebook to Mom-of-Felon-Decorum. I believe you may be being guided to write it yourself. You can call it JT's Little Guidebook for Big Mamas with Little Boys in the Big House . We'll all help you with illustrations.
Hugs!
As far as I know, there is no official guidebook to Mom-of-Felon-Decorum. I believe you may be being guided to write it yourself. You can call it JT's Little Guidebook for Big Mamas with Little Boys in the Big House . We'll all help you with illustrations.
Hugs!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
I would definitely stick to closed toe flats for the first visit. You just never know, and you may want to stay away from your orange hues. Other than that I really have no words of wisdom, just a few hugs for support.
I personally don't think it's anyones business where he is. I would just say he's on sebatical. It's kinda true, lol.
I hope this turns out to be a positive step in the right direction. I can imagine how hard this must be for you, but you've survived worse and have always come through stronger and more sure of yourself. You'll know what to do, trust your insticts.
Love ya,
Stephanie
I personally don't think it's anyones business where he is. I would just say he's on sebatical. It's kinda true, lol.
I hope this turns out to be a positive step in the right direction. I can imagine how hard this must be for you, but you've survived worse and have always come through stronger and more sure of yourself. You'll know what to do, trust your insticts.
Love ya,
Stephanie
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
****{JT}}}
As someone who could very easily be sharing your nightmare, I am sending huge hugs and lots of prayers, as well as my finest "Cookies for Mama's of Boys In the Joint" recipes....
Chocolate Chip on His Shoulder Cookies
One cup of love, mixed with compassion and a teaspoon of encouragement
Add a cup of detachment, 3 cups of prayers and 4 meetings.
Combine the above and bake on a teflon pan (so his "issues" slide off), and with good boundaries so none of this spills over onto you.
Funny You Should Ask Fudge
Mix all the usual "fudge stuff" (LOL - Can you tell I don't bake?) and add 2 cups of Jujubes to help you keep your mouth busy when others ask questions that are none of their business.
Bad Boy Brownies
Make your usual batch of brownies and cut into 12 pieces, each with a step decorated on top, to be digested slowly and with thought.
Annie's Angelfood Cake for Little Devils
Now this one is big enough to hold a file, but instead we add a Big Book wrapped in a copy of "The Serenity Prayer"
"Don't Ask For Dough" Doughnuts
These can be any flavour and in the center hole we put a huge piece of NOTHING....that's why they're called holes!!! These holes can represent all the money that has gone missing, voluntarily or otherwise, and can send a message that the well is dry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And as to what to wear? Wear your recovery, JT, it fits like a glove and flatters you more than you will ever know. Your hand-me-downs have seen me through some of my worst days, and I know that the strength you have gained in the past will see you through these dark days.
Remember that God has a plan, and keeping your son safe and giving him time to rethink his life may be just the miracle you have been waiting for.
Sending hugs and prayers and tons of love
Ann
As someone who could very easily be sharing your nightmare, I am sending huge hugs and lots of prayers, as well as my finest "Cookies for Mama's of Boys In the Joint" recipes....
Chocolate Chip on His Shoulder Cookies
One cup of love, mixed with compassion and a teaspoon of encouragement
Add a cup of detachment, 3 cups of prayers and 4 meetings.
Combine the above and bake on a teflon pan (so his "issues" slide off), and with good boundaries so none of this spills over onto you.
Funny You Should Ask Fudge
Mix all the usual "fudge stuff" (LOL - Can you tell I don't bake?) and add 2 cups of Jujubes to help you keep your mouth busy when others ask questions that are none of their business.
Bad Boy Brownies
Make your usual batch of brownies and cut into 12 pieces, each with a step decorated on top, to be digested slowly and with thought.
Annie's Angelfood Cake for Little Devils
Now this one is big enough to hold a file, but instead we add a Big Book wrapped in a copy of "The Serenity Prayer"
"Don't Ask For Dough" Doughnuts
These can be any flavour and in the center hole we put a huge piece of NOTHING....that's why they're called holes!!! These holes can represent all the money that has gone missing, voluntarily or otherwise, and can send a message that the well is dry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And as to what to wear? Wear your recovery, JT, it fits like a glove and flatters you more than you will ever know. Your hand-me-downs have seen me through some of my worst days, and I know that the strength you have gained in the past will see you through these dark days.
Remember that God has a plan, and keeping your son safe and giving him time to rethink his life may be just the miracle you have been waiting for.
Sending hugs and prayers and tons of love
Ann
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
I got kicked out...ouch!!
Ann...at 51 I need to wear more than my recovery.....
A guidebook? Not a bad idea! I could mail them out in plain brown paper...altho it doesn't matter. Enough offical envelopes have passed under the mail carriers nose that we have no secrets.
And the newspaper gems that have appeared over the years! Brown paper wrapping would be a waste of revenue.
Proper penitentiary attire should probably be drab doncha think? Assuming that I visit at all...I have seen him twice...that may be my limit.
You guys are great! Thanks for reading between the lines!
Hugs,
JT
Ann...at 51 I need to wear more than my recovery.....
A guidebook? Not a bad idea! I could mail them out in plain brown paper...altho it doesn't matter. Enough offical envelopes have passed under the mail carriers nose that we have no secrets.
And the newspaper gems that have appeared over the years! Brown paper wrapping would be a waste of revenue.
Proper penitentiary attire should probably be drab doncha think? Assuming that I visit at all...I have seen him twice...that may be my limit.
You guys are great! Thanks for reading between the lines!
Hugs,
JT
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Posts: n/a
JT,
I've visited my step son in prison and it's interesting the way they do things. There are certain colors you are not allowed to wear. You have to bring proof that you are family. Take lots of quarters for the vending machine in a clear plastic bag of some kind. I think the zipper kind is ok. Here you need to be pre-approved before the visit I think because they need to do a background check. There was something about the cigarettes and lighter, but I can't remember what it was. I think you could only use matches and the pack had to be unopened. You have to put your purse and anything else in a locker or lock it in your car. You also have to sign a waiver that you are on your own in case of a prison riot. They make you walk through a metal detector and then walk you through the metal gate. Then back to a big building where everyone visits together with guards all around. You are not allowed to touch the person who is in prison. I think we got by with a hug hello and goodbye, but that was it. We even got called on his arm around his sister for a picture. That was a no no. We were able to take the young kids in so they could visit their uncle so Jr could go if you wanted to take him. I was leary about taking my step grandkids, but my step daughter insisted. It went ok. There were a lot of children there visiting their fathers. There were also a lot of parents their crying while visiting their sons. It tore me up to see the fathers crying. We visited for a few hours. It wasn't bad at all.
One other prison I went to caught me on a day they were doing searches. If you see the search sign posted which is done on random days I would just do a U-Turn and come back on another day. They made me take my shoes off and looked between my toes and searched my car with a drug dog and said I had the dirtiest air cleaner in my engine that they had ever seen. He was even angry at me that he had to touch it. Well excuse me!!!! For some reason that prison was a telephone visit. I'm not sure why.
You can leave money for them on their books so they can buy what they need.
So what did I wear. I only remember that I was covered from my neck to my toes, lol. I also remember being a little uncomfortable and afraid of the other prisoners. It's like one big family gathering. The reason you can't wear certain colors is because they want to be able to tell you from the prisoners. Just a little spooky, but I am a big chicken.
Love you JT and I'm sorry you have to go through this. How long does he have to be in there? I'm praying that God surrounds him with angels while he is there and protects him from any harm.
I've visited my step son in prison and it's interesting the way they do things. There are certain colors you are not allowed to wear. You have to bring proof that you are family. Take lots of quarters for the vending machine in a clear plastic bag of some kind. I think the zipper kind is ok. Here you need to be pre-approved before the visit I think because they need to do a background check. There was something about the cigarettes and lighter, but I can't remember what it was. I think you could only use matches and the pack had to be unopened. You have to put your purse and anything else in a locker or lock it in your car. You also have to sign a waiver that you are on your own in case of a prison riot. They make you walk through a metal detector and then walk you through the metal gate. Then back to a big building where everyone visits together with guards all around. You are not allowed to touch the person who is in prison. I think we got by with a hug hello and goodbye, but that was it. We even got called on his arm around his sister for a picture. That was a no no. We were able to take the young kids in so they could visit their uncle so Jr could go if you wanted to take him. I was leary about taking my step grandkids, but my step daughter insisted. It went ok. There were a lot of children there visiting their fathers. There were also a lot of parents their crying while visiting their sons. It tore me up to see the fathers crying. We visited for a few hours. It wasn't bad at all.
One other prison I went to caught me on a day they were doing searches. If you see the search sign posted which is done on random days I would just do a U-Turn and come back on another day. They made me take my shoes off and looked between my toes and searched my car with a drug dog and said I had the dirtiest air cleaner in my engine that they had ever seen. He was even angry at me that he had to touch it. Well excuse me!!!! For some reason that prison was a telephone visit. I'm not sure why.
You can leave money for them on their books so they can buy what they need.
So what did I wear. I only remember that I was covered from my neck to my toes, lol. I also remember being a little uncomfortable and afraid of the other prisoners. It's like one big family gathering. The reason you can't wear certain colors is because they want to be able to tell you from the prisoners. Just a little spooky, but I am a big chicken.
Love you JT and I'm sorry you have to go through this. How long does he have to be in there? I'm praying that God surrounds him with angels while he is there and protects him from any harm.
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Hey JT
I am going to tell you my experience visiting mine in jail.....it was a county jail so perhaps they weren't quite as strict. I am not sure.
They had certain times on the weekend. You had to have ID to prove who you were and of course you needed to be on the visitors list, I suppose that is for prior approval. Everyone stood in line and you had to pass thru the metal detector.......imagine their surprise when I would set it off every time (I have a steel plate and 6 screws in my leg) so I would get the wand treatment......eventaully they got to know me so the wand wasn't necessary and I didn't even have to show my id. I only brought my id and my keys because you weren't allowed to take them in with you, they put them in a locker and gave you a key.
We sat in a gymnasium type place side by side and no touching. Just a hello kiss/hug and a goodbye/kiss hug.
As for the buying of cigaretees and stuff, I had to drop off money - during the week - could not drop off on weekends and they had to buy everything thru the prison. I could send letters/cards but once I tried to send a computer calander......nope.....not allowed.
Now the county jail is going smoke free, so if mine should go back - looks like he is quitting. And they are also trying to get the window separation thing so you can't touch at all.
I am sure each jail/prison is different. If you have any questions and I might be of help, just let me know.
I am sorry that you are going through this, its gotta suck. Know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending you a ton of hugs.
Much love,
Debbie
I am going to tell you my experience visiting mine in jail.....it was a county jail so perhaps they weren't quite as strict. I am not sure.
They had certain times on the weekend. You had to have ID to prove who you were and of course you needed to be on the visitors list, I suppose that is for prior approval. Everyone stood in line and you had to pass thru the metal detector.......imagine their surprise when I would set it off every time (I have a steel plate and 6 screws in my leg) so I would get the wand treatment......eventaully they got to know me so the wand wasn't necessary and I didn't even have to show my id. I only brought my id and my keys because you weren't allowed to take them in with you, they put them in a locker and gave you a key.
We sat in a gymnasium type place side by side and no touching. Just a hello kiss/hug and a goodbye/kiss hug.
As for the buying of cigaretees and stuff, I had to drop off money - during the week - could not drop off on weekends and they had to buy everything thru the prison. I could send letters/cards but once I tried to send a computer calander......nope.....not allowed.
Now the county jail is going smoke free, so if mine should go back - looks like he is quitting. And they are also trying to get the window separation thing so you can't touch at all.
I am sure each jail/prison is different. If you have any questions and I might be of help, just let me know.
I am sorry that you are going through this, its gotta suck. Know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending you a ton of hugs.
Much love,
Debbie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
JT, God bless you for keeping
your sense of humor about you at a time like this. It is a valuable tool and it will see you through the rough stuff. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. From one Mom to another, here's a great big HUG. I hope that this can become a step in the right direction for your son.
Being among the "fashion challenged", I have no idea what one wears to visit. I imagine Jimmy Choo stillettos are on the "no-no" list though.
Peace,
Gabe
Being among the "fashion challenged", I have no idea what one wears to visit. I imagine Jimmy Choo stillettos are on the "no-no" list though.
Peace,
Gabe
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
JT,
I'm sending my love, prayers and hugs your way and extra prayers for your son. JT think about it this way. God might have just saved your son's life by giving him this time (no pun intended...
)to think about his life without any outside distractions. (Darn, was that another pun?...lol.) Seriously JT, I'm praying that this little time away will give Beav the time he needs to look deep within himself.
Now here's what one of my dear litttle Al Anon ladies said she said when people were asking her about where her husband was when he was 'away'.
"If you'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking."
Hang in there, JT. You have no idea what an inspiration you are to many of us out here as you are a great example of working YOUR program.
Love,
Hangin' In
I'm sending my love, prayers and hugs your way and extra prayers for your son. JT think about it this way. God might have just saved your son's life by giving him this time (no pun intended...
)to think about his life without any outside distractions. (Darn, was that another pun?...lol.) Seriously JT, I'm praying that this little time away will give Beav the time he needs to look deep within himself.Now here's what one of my dear litttle Al Anon ladies said she said when people were asking her about where her husband was when he was 'away'.
"If you'll forgive me for not answering, I'll forgive you for asking."
Hang in there, JT. You have no idea what an inspiration you are to many of us out here as you are a great example of working YOUR program.
Love,
Hangin' In
Paused
Join Date: May 2003
Location: walking down a happier trail
Posts: 50
Since I don't have any words that are helpful I will just say that I agree with everyone... Follow YOUR program... you cant go wrong there... and I am sending you LOTS of hugs and support and many prayers for your son that during his time he finds his "true" self.
Love and Light,
Kathie
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))) )))
Love and Light,
Kathie
(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))) )))
Grace Under Fire
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536
(((JT)))
Well, I was hoping this would be
a different scenario-I am really sorry.
On the lighter side, my thoughts are he
will be in a minimum security prison with
vocational training, education, and there
are drug/alcohol programs. Also he can
be transferred out of the prison to like
a "honor camp" where they work and
have programs. My son never had this privilege
due to social problems, but he could have.
It's a shock, this isn't what any mother
had planned for their son. I literally did
seven years with my son in prison, BUT I
had no recovery either. It was all just too
barbaric for me.
Oh, and I wrote a book, you want a copy
Thinking of you, many hugs and prayers to
you and your family.
Well, I was hoping this would be
a different scenario-I am really sorry.
On the lighter side, my thoughts are he
will be in a minimum security prison with
vocational training, education, and there
are drug/alcohol programs. Also he can
be transferred out of the prison to like
a "honor camp" where they work and
have programs. My son never had this privilege
due to social problems, but he could have.
It's a shock, this isn't what any mother
had planned for their son. I literally did
seven years with my son in prison, BUT I
had no recovery either. It was all just too
barbaric for me.
Oh, and I wrote a book, you want a copy
Thinking of you, many hugs and prayers to
you and your family.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
((((((((JT))))))))))
I guess prison is just another place to be. We don't know if this is just the place where God can reach your son. We can't help but to struggle with the society's judgement about being in prison and what it says about someone's worth as a person etc. But the truth is that one of the only people that Jesus told would be with him in paradise was the prisoner hanging on the cross beside him. So take heart, Jesus is there in prison. And miracles happen every day. This is not the end but perhaps the begining. Love and hugs to you JT.
I guess prison is just another place to be. We don't know if this is just the place where God can reach your son. We can't help but to struggle with the society's judgement about being in prison and what it says about someone's worth as a person etc. But the truth is that one of the only people that Jesus told would be with him in paradise was the prisoner hanging on the cross beside him. So take heart, Jesus is there in prison. And miracles happen every day. This is not the end but perhaps the begining. Love and hugs to you JT.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
I am honored to know you all...coming here this morning and getting hugged to death is just what I needed.
Yesterday I made a decision of sorts. I got a message from his PO looking for him and a letter from the other county looking for him. Geeeeze...you would think in this computer age one hand would finally know what the other was doing.
I began to do what mother's do best and make the needed phone calls to straighten this out....when lo and behold a bolt of lightening knocked me into the next room! I found myself sitting at my desk with a pen in my hand. I addressed an envelope to my incarcerated offspring and jotted a note telling him his PO is looking for him...I enclosed the letter from the other county that is looking for him and I dropped it in the mail.
How can I be a mouthpiece? I don't even know what to wear!!
Oh...MG...I think I will pass on the prison visit. County jail was creepy enough. They have the glass and the phone. Am I the only one who carries Wet Ones in my purse?? I didn't see one other person wiping the phone off before they used it...
Hugs all around!!
JT
Yesterday I made a decision of sorts. I got a message from his PO looking for him and a letter from the other county looking for him. Geeeeze...you would think in this computer age one hand would finally know what the other was doing.
I began to do what mother's do best and make the needed phone calls to straighten this out....when lo and behold a bolt of lightening knocked me into the next room! I found myself sitting at my desk with a pen in my hand. I addressed an envelope to my incarcerated offspring and jotted a note telling him his PO is looking for him...I enclosed the letter from the other county that is looking for him and I dropped it in the mail.
How can I be a mouthpiece? I don't even know what to wear!!
Oh...MG...I think I will pass on the prison visit. County jail was creepy enough. They have the glass and the phone. Am I the only one who carries Wet Ones in my purse?? I didn't see one other person wiping the phone off before they used it...
Hugs all around!!
JT
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Oh JT I would be right with you!
I'd be wiping off the phone the seat and wearing gloves! DEFINATELY would use the restroom BEFORE I arrived and after I left......I am REALLY wierd about germs........everyone makes fun of me. (I carry a potty in my van so my 3yr old daughter doesn't even have to use the public restroom...of course I have wipes and clorox wipes too!!)
We have sent money to a friend....money order with his # on it, he said they even by their own soap to bath with, or maybe he just liked a special kind ya had to by, anyway sending money wasn't difficult.....except parting with it.
I bet with a little time to prepare your mind that you will visit. Pick out something very homely to wear and focus on your child. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, I will be praying for both of you!!!
You have been such a guiding light to us that I hope we can help you through this. You are an incredible lady and you WILL find you way through this!
with Lots of LOVE, Constant
We have sent money to a friend....money order with his # on it, he said they even by their own soap to bath with, or maybe he just liked a special kind ya had to by, anyway sending money wasn't difficult.....except parting with it.
I bet with a little time to prepare your mind that you will visit. Pick out something very homely to wear and focus on your child. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, I will be praying for both of you!!!
You have been such a guiding light to us that I hope we can help you through this. You are an incredible lady and you WILL find you way through this!
with Lots of LOVE, Constant
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