I think I am doing good..........
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: michigan
Posts: 33
I think I am doing good..........
HI Everyone,
Hope all is well with everyone, I ran into an old friend last night, well was an old boyfriend as well, but he had asked me how I had been doing and I proceeded to let him know how my life had been going. He seemed to have already had some insights on my life , we live in a small town so I'm sure it was friend or family he had heard it from. But anyway when I said I was engaged and that my SO was in prison, well I filled him in on some of the issues, that I felt was any of his business.....lol lol. But it felt good to be able to say to someone that I hadnt spoke to in awhile, since I have been dealing with my co-dependency issues about how I felt about what I had been going through, his comment to me was what in the world do you want to be with someone that is in prison for when you have a promising future , look at you, you have a new house, a nice car and a good job, what would you want that for!!!! Well I suppose that is true, but when you love someone I try not to judge my A for his wrongs, since it says in 1 corinthians not to keep track of past wrongs. It does hurt the things we have been through but I have done alot of work on myself and I have changed in many ways, I have had alot of my friends at work make comment on the difference they see in me, and that is a wonderful thing to have others notice the change, since it has taken me alot of soul searching and putting myself under a microscope to get where I am, and it hasnt been easy and I know I still have work to do. But I a HP to help me through. I just told my friend that all I can do is take care of myself and be ready for when and if that day does come when my SO does return to his old ways, he has made great progress since he gave his life to God, but I know there will be many days where he will be tested, I know that the road will not be easy even though we have a HP BUT we have someone to turn to that will always be there and I left it at that. It felt good!!! MY SO is a good, loving man and I love him very much and I dont want to leave, so I think I am doing the right thing by just learning to take care of me and lead a happy life even though the love of my life is a recovering A.
Hope all is well with everyone, I ran into an old friend last night, well was an old boyfriend as well, but he had asked me how I had been doing and I proceeded to let him know how my life had been going. He seemed to have already had some insights on my life , we live in a small town so I'm sure it was friend or family he had heard it from. But anyway when I said I was engaged and that my SO was in prison, well I filled him in on some of the issues, that I felt was any of his business.....lol lol. But it felt good to be able to say to someone that I hadnt spoke to in awhile, since I have been dealing with my co-dependency issues about how I felt about what I had been going through, his comment to me was what in the world do you want to be with someone that is in prison for when you have a promising future , look at you, you have a new house, a nice car and a good job, what would you want that for!!!! Well I suppose that is true, but when you love someone I try not to judge my A for his wrongs, since it says in 1 corinthians not to keep track of past wrongs. It does hurt the things we have been through but I have done alot of work on myself and I have changed in many ways, I have had alot of my friends at work make comment on the difference they see in me, and that is a wonderful thing to have others notice the change, since it has taken me alot of soul searching and putting myself under a microscope to get where I am, and it hasnt been easy and I know I still have work to do. But I a HP to help me through. I just told my friend that all I can do is take care of myself and be ready for when and if that day does come when my SO does return to his old ways, he has made great progress since he gave his life to God, but I know there will be many days where he will be tested, I know that the road will not be easy even though we have a HP BUT we have someone to turn to that will always be there and I left it at that. It felt good!!! MY SO is a good, loving man and I love him very much and I dont want to leave, so I think I am doing the right thing by just learning to take care of me and lead a happy life even though the love of my life is a recovering A.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Of course you're doing good
Your post was full of things that indicate that you are taking care of yourself. People outside of your life and circumstances may not agree with the decisions that you have made. As long as you are comfortable with them, you life will work for you.
Peace,
Gabe
Peace,
Gabe
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: michigan
Posts: 33
Thank you Gabe, its always nice to get support, I have had to concentrate on me for a change and its strange but it feels good, and yes its true alot of people dont agree with my decisions, but I do feel comfortable with them , now there was a time when my A had first went to prison that I wasnt so sure, but I have worked through ALOT. THANKS AGAIN
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
FAITH - I love your name!!!
One of the gifts when we begin working our recovery, is the great relief that we no longer have to please every one in the world. We just have to be true to ourselves. When we are honest, have a clear conscience and know we are doing the best we can, it really does not matter what others think.
The saying on my signature "To Thine Own Self Be True" is also the saying of CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) my 12-step group. Believe it!
One of the gifts when we begin working our recovery, is the great relief that we no longer have to please every one in the world. We just have to be true to ourselves. When we are honest, have a clear conscience and know we are doing the best we can, it really does not matter what others think.
The saying on my signature "To Thine Own Self Be True" is also the saying of CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) my 12-step group. Believe it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: michigan
Posts: 33
Thanks Ann,
I searched for a codependents anonymous locally but there are none in my area, bummer, the closest was an hour and half away. But I am going to attend an al-anon meeting this week. The only thing I found out restricting about the alanon meetings in my area is they all are at like 8 pm at night and I have to be to work at 4 am so I am normally winding down at time of the night ,but I am going to nap this monday and go and hopefully I can find one that is a little earlier. I was hoping I could find one in my town but I have to go 15 miles but that isnt to bad, I need to go so its worth it, just hope to find one earlier. The place I called only had the times and place for 2 meetings so maybe when I attend my first meeting they will have more info. I was surprised, because the place I called was the place they send people for alcohol counseling by the courts. She said if I got anymore dates and times to let them know I told her I would be happy to. I definitely feel a big weight has been lifted from me since I have been working the steps. thanks again
I searched for a codependents anonymous locally but there are none in my area, bummer, the closest was an hour and half away. But I am going to attend an al-anon meeting this week. The only thing I found out restricting about the alanon meetings in my area is they all are at like 8 pm at night and I have to be to work at 4 am so I am normally winding down at time of the night ,but I am going to nap this monday and go and hopefully I can find one that is a little earlier. I was hoping I could find one in my town but I have to go 15 miles but that isnt to bad, I need to go so its worth it, just hope to find one earlier. The place I called only had the times and place for 2 meetings so maybe when I attend my first meeting they will have more info. I was surprised, because the place I called was the place they send people for alcohol counseling by the courts. She said if I got anymore dates and times to let them know I told her I would be happy to. I definitely feel a big weight has been lifted from me since I have been working the steps. thanks again
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