searching

well Im back again after weeks and weeks of being sober and the thinking Im fine and drinking again. I have a beautiful wife and my baby boy just had his 1st birthday... I cant take it anymore, I have such a problem its not even funny.. I checked myself into rehab in my small town but my town sucks so much that they dont pay the therapist crap and the two Ive been to have quit.. Im a smart guy I used to work as a social services person so when I talked to the last therapist she even told me that AA in this town is a joke, its just a way for the town to make money and the only people that go are cause they have to due to arrest or a way to get out of work release.. the nearest AA from here is like 50 miles away and I cant drive that with drinking all the time... Im so screwed I just cant take it anymore and dont know what to do... thanks for letting me blow off...

Ngokpa

I would check out the meetings anyway. It's doubtful you're the only guy in town who wants to be sober.

I helped run a meeting at a hospital for people who were sent by the courts in my first year of sobriety, and actually it helped. I'm not a Big Book thumper, but reading any kind of literature about how not to drink, especially in a group setting, helps a lot. Getting around to working the steps helps too. And there are always people here and other on-line groups to fall back on.

AA started with Bill Wilson being away on business, thinking about going into a bar, and finding another drunk who wanted to stay sober instead.

Turkey

I know how frustrated you are. I slipped up a few days ago after only 8 days...and have had a beer here and there the last few days. There is a difference, as I now stop at just 2 or3 but I'm still having them. I use to drink myself until I couldn't function, but I to have a 6 month old baby and cannot do that anymore. I want to be able to not have ANY but damn...beer just tastes good to me.
I've tried like 3 different AA meetings and did not feel safe or comfortable as they people there were the same as you stated... State ordered, or going just cause they have to. I'm trying ONE more tonight, it's here on the base, which I didn't want to do because I don't want to see any familiar faces, but I'm at the I don't really care stage. I love my husband and daughter more then anything in this world and I want to get rid of this thing once and for all, but I know it's going to be a battle for the rest of my life, I just have to learn how to fight it. Hang in there, and even though I'm really new here these people have been a God Send! They are GREAT!! Hope you get to feeling better~~
Jen

Anna

There is always hope and there is lots of support and encouragement here. You can look around and get information and see what others are going through. You can do this and I hope you keep posting.

Done_With_It

Good to see you posting!

Have you tried online meetings?
That would be better than nothing.

Hang in there, look forward to seeing you around more!

2dayzmuse

Keep trying and don't give up. Like you stated, you are a smart guy. Use your smarts to figure out a way to get to a well functioning meeting. I know you can find a solution if you put your mind and heart into it. You've got to want it for yourself. Your beautiful wife and baby boy sound like a wonderful motivator to take action. Good luck and keep coming back...

CarolD

I wonder who keeps the doors open for that meeting?
There will be at least a few members there with
sobriety...go and find then.

Blessings to you and your family..

Luckyv2

Personally I know that my dis-ease is a three fold disease. Physical, Mental, and Spiritual. Most of us have to treat each one of these everyday, or we all risk a relapse. So what do we do? Most of us here go to meetings everyday. F2F meetings are very important, it makes us feel apart of something at last. I do three meetings a day, call my sponsor, work the steps, try to live by the Spiritual principles. I don't really even crave or even think of a drug (alcohol is a drug) hardly at all anymore. Why? Because I am to busy with recovery!

Love Vic

lulu70

I know that pain--knowing I have to stop drinking but somehow just not being able to. You can make it happen--you CAN stop drinking. Go to those AA meetings and make them what you need them to be. Go with the thought that you want to help other people stay sober. You CAN do it.

Hang in there. One day at a time and keep posting!!!!

nogard

hi searching,

great that your hear and trying, I agree CAN is the word, idea, sentiment to grab hold off

Easy does it.

Kevin