Ayers1995

Ok guys. After another evening of HELL... I am thinking of calling an attorney that I know here where I live. I was wondering though, if I should use the same attorney we used for a bankruptcy case??

Any ideas?

minnie

Personally, I would find one that is a divorce specialist - ideally one who knows something about addiction (explaining stuff costs money!)

I'm sure others have a better idea of this kind of thing.

Jazzman

I would suggest an experienced Lawyer in divorce (and addiction cases). The Lawyer that handled your bankruptcy might be a good person to call for a referral.

Talking to a Lawyer doesn’t mean you have decided to pull any litigation triggers, just to get educated on where you stand. It's very helpful when you're trying to decide on a course of action to be aware of your options.

My Lawyer was very well educated and experienced in addiction cases and had done her homework on someone elses dime.

Ayers1995

That worked out good for you. Why is it important to get one who deals with addiction? I am not interested in pointing fingers.... I'd just file for irrecon...however you spell it... right?

Jazzman

Well I just lucked out that's all. She was familiar with many cases like mine, didn't have to do fresh research on precedent setting cases, already had knowledge of how judges in my county typically rule in such cases.

This both saved me money AND gave me the upper hand if it were to go to court. I also picked a very seasoned vet because I wanted a heavy hitter trial lawyer in the event that my divorce would end up being settled in court.

Before I retained her, I talked to a $150/hr lawyer, (cheap for up here) to get educated on my situation. Sat down w/ matter of fact non accusatory attitude and list of questions and said here’s what I make, what she makes, how long we’ve been married, assets disposition (case specific details). Then asked what would be a fair settlement.

I later had no choice but to go for the big bucks lawyer due to my specific situation. I never did the finger pointing approach and it was sometimes challenging to manage my lawyer to that method. She wanted me to file a “this” motion and “that” motion… casting "legal stones" only gets more thrown back at you.

sunshine003

You need an attorney who deals with family law/divorce/child support.....not bankruptcy. Right now, you should make an appointment to see one face to face in order to discuss your options. What's more, it's like an interview and shouldn't cost you a dime to do this. He'll tell you how much it should cost, etc and you leave and tell him you'll be in touch when you're ready to move forward. Meet with a few of them and go with the one you feel most comfortable with.

That's what I did.

Ayers1995

I called the one I know.. he isn't my bankruptcy attorney. My bankruptcy attorney is also a judge of the little town I live in. He's great. The guy I contacted will be in a bit later, hopefully if he can't help...he can advise me of someone close by that I can sit with to discuss things.

denny57

I have a great divorce attorney who also has knowledge of addictions. It helps because she understands what I'm dealing with (alcoholism has not been brought up in any paperwork) as far as the lying, manipulation, etc. It isn't necessary, but it helps. She understands we're not dealing with someone who is rational right now.

Good luck Ayers.

Ayers1995

3 oclock today I have an appt with an attorney in my friends office!

Wish me luck!!!

Ayers1995

Thanks a bunch. Yes, realizing he isn't rational would be good. He is very unstable in my opinion and consumed with me. It's scary.

elizabeth1979

Im sure you dont need me to tell you, this is a dangerous combination Ayers!
Stay strong!

Jazzman

Be honest w/ your lawyer about your concern for your safety and children’s emotional well being.

My sister had a chance to get an RO against her abusive AH but got all codie in the critical moment and didn't press it. Boy she sure would like to go back and do that again right now.

megamysterioso

Ayers-- I hope the appointment with the atty. went well. The state that I live lists "addiction to alcohol or other drugs" as just means for filing for divorce. I filed due to "irreconcilable differences" b/c I had no children or "real" assets to protect. Filing and listing "addiction" as the cause may give you much stronger ground to stand on if you feel that your AH will fight this tooth and nail. I guess your lawyer will advise you of what's best though. Please give us an update.

Ayers1995

I went to the attorney yesterday. Since I don't want the house and there really isn't any 401 to fight over it sounds pretty cut and dry. We didn't get deep into detail about things, b/c he isn't the one who actually would take the case... but he says its a standard 25% for child support.

I am going to start a list of questions to take along next to my next consultation... so any questions you can suggest would be great!

bebubbles

Let me know how it goes. I also have 3 kids. Always wondering how bad the divorce is going to be.