Mad all the Time
Relax = Relapse
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Penticton BC
Posts: 22
Mad all the Time
Does anyone else have this problem?, Im mad all the time, I hate everyone and everything. I hate being sober, I hate my life. I hate AA, NA, etc. I hate my G/F, I hate my job, I hate my life. I just want to be wasted all the time, I want to get drunk and smoke big fat rocks, and do big fat wacks and escape from this stupid planet. WTF?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Hi, im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
I have felt the same way as u but leave out the drugs because i enjoyed drinking better. I guess i stayed nieve to the drugs except pot way back when.
We all have felt the same way u r feeling now sometime if not many times in our lives. I was very angry and pissed off at people and the world etc. mainly because I didnt want to ACCEPT PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS JUST THE WAY THEY R.
When i was drinking u couldnt get thru to me..u couldnt get thru the thick fog surrounding me. You couldnt break thru the walls I had built around me. I didnt like people or family that wasnt like me. Those that didnt drink like i did.
And so i surrounded myself with those that drank in clubs.
Then one day alcohol stopped working for me. I began to get into big trouble with it. Then i had an accident which landed me in the hospital for 10 days. That didnt stop me. A few months later i picked up a drink and tried to end my miserable life.
Well it didnt happen because im here today to tell u about it. My family stepped in and did an intervention on me. They did for me what i couldnt do for myself.
I spent 28 days in rehab recieving the tools of recovery to guide me to stay sober one day at a time.
Life today sober has its ups and down....but i would trade any of them for one day drunk that i use to have.
Before u began to use...at what age? There must have been a good guy there. There must have been times that when u were young that u were an adorable child? : ) I believe all of us as children began out as good ones till the day we picked up a drink or drug.
As a child i was verbally and physically abused, so even tho i went thru hell as a child...i remember looking into the mirror with tear thinking why would anyone want to hurt a child...not a little child...and i knew i was a child of my HP and still today i think of myself as one of His...as i let Him guide me thru my sober life doing His will and not mine.....
Of course that is my own thinking and my own program....I had the DESIRE and WILLINGNESS to stay sober from the very beginning and as a result of that im still sober today 15 yrs later. Just one day at a time.
I hope u find a sense of calmness and peace so u dont have to be angry anymore.
Thanks for letting me share.
I have felt the same way as u but leave out the drugs because i enjoyed drinking better. I guess i stayed nieve to the drugs except pot way back when.
We all have felt the same way u r feeling now sometime if not many times in our lives. I was very angry and pissed off at people and the world etc. mainly because I didnt want to ACCEPT PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS JUST THE WAY THEY R.
When i was drinking u couldnt get thru to me..u couldnt get thru the thick fog surrounding me. You couldnt break thru the walls I had built around me. I didnt like people or family that wasnt like me. Those that didnt drink like i did.
And so i surrounded myself with those that drank in clubs.
Then one day alcohol stopped working for me. I began to get into big trouble with it. Then i had an accident which landed me in the hospital for 10 days. That didnt stop me. A few months later i picked up a drink and tried to end my miserable life.
Well it didnt happen because im here today to tell u about it. My family stepped in and did an intervention on me. They did for me what i couldnt do for myself.
I spent 28 days in rehab recieving the tools of recovery to guide me to stay sober one day at a time.
Life today sober has its ups and down....but i would trade any of them for one day drunk that i use to have.
Before u began to use...at what age? There must have been a good guy there. There must have been times that when u were young that u were an adorable child? : ) I believe all of us as children began out as good ones till the day we picked up a drink or drug.
As a child i was verbally and physically abused, so even tho i went thru hell as a child...i remember looking into the mirror with tear thinking why would anyone want to hurt a child...not a little child...and i knew i was a child of my HP and still today i think of myself as one of His...as i let Him guide me thru my sober life doing His will and not mine.....
Of course that is my own thinking and my own program....I had the DESIRE and WILLINGNESS to stay sober from the very beginning and as a result of that im still sober today 15 yrs later. Just one day at a time.
I hope u find a sense of calmness and peace so u dont have to be angry anymore.
Thanks for letting me share.
Naps are good.
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
Welcome to my world.
Most of the time I feel like such a cranky b*tch. I would love nothing better than to get inebriated. But, I don't want to lose my family, or get a DUI, or end up in jail, or blackout and call old boyfriends anymore. It's just not cool ya know?
Sorry you are going through a rough time. It will get better. It just takes time, and it also takes finding something(s) in life worth being sober for. Do you have anything in your life that makes you happy, or something that use to make you happy? Maybe you could try a new sport? (I suggest martial arts........it's fun and provides discipline). Also reading books about alcoholism and going to AA meetings is helping me to face the truth about myself. I'm trying to be grateful for what I have, and trying to not let myself get too stressed or depressed so I am not OVERWHELMINGLY TEMPTED to drink.
Btw - your picture is cute and a bit funny! It looks like a cross between my husband and Vincent D'onofrio (my favorite actor! He is soooooooooo sexy!)
Most of the time I feel like such a cranky b*tch. I would love nothing better than to get inebriated. But, I don't want to lose my family, or get a DUI, or end up in jail, or blackout and call old boyfriends anymore. It's just not cool ya know?
Sorry you are going through a rough time. It will get better. It just takes time, and it also takes finding something(s) in life worth being sober for. Do you have anything in your life that makes you happy, or something that use to make you happy? Maybe you could try a new sport? (I suggest martial arts........it's fun and provides discipline). Also reading books about alcoholism and going to AA meetings is helping me to face the truth about myself. I'm trying to be grateful for what I have, and trying to not let myself get too stressed or depressed so I am not OVERWHELMINGLY TEMPTED to drink.
Btw - your picture is cute and a bit funny! It looks like a cross between my husband and Vincent D'onofrio (my favorite actor! He is soooooooooo sexy!)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
****{Guzler}}}
I remember those early days...
the only emotion I could feel was anger...
I was pi$$ed at everyone and everything...
It's time to work the program harder my friend...this too shall pass!
You need to develop an attitude of gratitude.
Find an outlet for that anger...don't allow it to eat you alive.
Find a punching bag or start running or find some other way to "deal" with it.
Vent...
Journal your feelings or talk about them...
write about them here, get a sponsor and talk to him...
What you're going through is "growing pains"...
Just don't pick up!
Keep comming back!
I remember those early days...
the only emotion I could feel was anger...
I was pi$$ed at everyone and everything...
It's time to work the program harder my friend...this too shall pass!
You need to develop an attitude of gratitude.
Find an outlet for that anger...don't allow it to eat you alive.
Find a punching bag or start running or find some other way to "deal" with it.
Vent...
Journal your feelings or talk about them...
write about them here, get a sponsor and talk to him...
What you're going through is "growing pains"...
Just don't pick up!
Keep comming back!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Camelot
Posts: 90
That is how I felt when I was sleep deprived, dehydrated and malnourished from drinking too much and too late into the night. Anxiety, withdrawal and low blood sugar would consume me with rage the next day--and make the cravings worse--and then the pattern would repeat when I got home for another set of drinks to calm me down for the evening.
Consider taking a multi vitamin and maybe a b-50 complex everyday and drinking tons of fluids for a week or so and see if that helps--it did for me. Also, get as much rest and exercise as possible. If not in AA consider a counselor for at least a few months so you can gain perspective as to what is happening to you physically as well as emotionally.
The anger will likely subside when the drugs finally let go of the pleasure receptors in the brain--and when your body adjusts to using more fuel from healthy foods and less from alcohol.
Check the many posts here on nutrition and sleep for a guide on how to wait it out till you feel better. It will happen. Add up the money you are saving from not indulging and reward yourself with a trip. Think in detail of where you want to go and what you will do. It doesn't have to be far away--just something to look forward to as a reward for your hard work and courage.
Good luck
Consider taking a multi vitamin and maybe a b-50 complex everyday and drinking tons of fluids for a week or so and see if that helps--it did for me. Also, get as much rest and exercise as possible. If not in AA consider a counselor for at least a few months so you can gain perspective as to what is happening to you physically as well as emotionally.
The anger will likely subside when the drugs finally let go of the pleasure receptors in the brain--and when your body adjusts to using more fuel from healthy foods and less from alcohol.
Check the many posts here on nutrition and sleep for a guide on how to wait it out till you feel better. It will happen. Add up the money you are saving from not indulging and reward yourself with a trip. Think in detail of where you want to go and what you will do. It doesn't have to be far away--just something to look forward to as a reward for your hard work and courage.
Good luck
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
The rage inside is hard to contol, sometimes...! Ive found that deep breathing and avoiding certain people,REALLY help.
I do hope that one day i wont be angry..... also...!
Get into a Martial Art...! the buddists have some answers to that one...!
Good Luck Guzler, i do hope you dont get wasted...!
Hugs...
I do hope that one day i wont be angry..... also...!
Get into a Martial Art...! the buddists have some answers to that one...!
Good Luck Guzler, i do hope you dont get wasted...!
Hugs...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
Guzler. U have any idea why u feel the way you do? have u always felt this way? I mean, when u were like twelve, did u walk around kicking snot out of people cause you hated them? Or do you just feel angry now that you are sobering up?
just need to know to understand better.
mertyl
just need to know to understand better.
mertyl
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
That's how I felt every day before I started on the road to recovery. I still get sad and mad now but I'm WAAAAY less mad and WAAAAY less sad.
I hope you are able to find your way and get to feeling well enough to see the difference. That's what made me try harder - I could see and feel the difference when I didn't have booze in my system for a couple weeks and I wanted that feeling to stay.
I hope you are able to find your way and get to feeling well enough to see the difference. That's what made me try harder - I could see and feel the difference when I didn't have booze in my system for a couple weeks and I wanted that feeling to stay.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 396
I feel mad a lot, but mostly I feel stupid, dumb, GUILTY, ugly fat, pathetic, small and insiginificant, and that's why i like to drink myself into a deep pass out! Hope you are doing well today. I know you are hurting, but when I saw this, i knew i was not alone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 491
Guz, my AH is angry a lot but I have noticed that he is mor so when he surrounds himself around others who are triggers for him. His father is an alcoholic, very bad alcoholic, and this man is just plain hateful!!!! He is hateful to everyone, no matter who they are and when my AH spends any tie with him, he comes home acting just like him! When it is just us or others who are sober/clean then he is a completely different person. He is a loving man when he is around positive people but he is a very ANGRY man when he is around negative people. I understand why he is how he is around his father and that helps me deal with it but we will be moving soon to another state and hopefully we will all be happy again! Maybe when you are so angry, it could be some of the people that you are around or the circumstances that you put yourself around/in. Do you have a lot of angry frineds or family?
GP
GP
This catz gone wild!!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Wonderland...
Posts: 280
That sum's up how I feel too Guz! I hate, hate and hate some more. I KNOW I should NOT pick up, but I feel deprived, and I relapse easily, I'm to the point where I may have to put myself away in the hospital to get 30 days clean and sober and hope like h3ll that helps me stay clean and sober and I learn something. I don't have the time though, I have to work, I cannot miss anymore work, so I have to surround my with recovery and people in recovery, but I even hate that right now. I am hurting emotionally, physically and mentally! So I know how you feel, I have heard this is normal. I live with someone who is still in active alcoholism, and they think I'm terrible for being addicted to narcotics and cocaine and think I should just be HAPPY that I'm not using anymore. Well I'm NOT happy right now and I'm very resentful! I'd also love to smoke up a fat rock or three, a couple mdones, a big fattie, a blender full of margaritas, and no one around for miles to bother me, but I may end up dead so I am not going there, even though my angry mind wants it soooo bad! I believe this too shall pass!
Luv
Jaz
Luv
Jaz
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: QUEENS, NY
Posts: 200
Hi there,
I feel the same, basically I want to kill someone or myself. Its hard to see the point of being sober, I didn't ask to feel like this.
Hang in there, hopefully it will pass for both of us
Rose
I feel the same, basically I want to kill someone or myself. Its hard to see the point of being sober, I didn't ask to feel like this.
Hang in there, hopefully it will pass for both of us
Rose
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
((( all you angry sober people and depressed ones too )))
What you're experiencing are FEELINGS! whoa, what a concept. We've guzzled, snorted and smoked our way through our feelings for such a long time that in early recovery we are overwhelmed with such a barrage of them that they often leave us either angry or depressed. My outlet and solution for all my problems and celebrations was gone, zip... nada! I became depressed because I didn't know who I was anymore when I was sober. Angry at others for tip toeing around me. Angry at myself for blowing it.
For those in early recovery anger and depression are a major side effect.
It's not easy to deal with all those feelings.. they made me feel like I was drowning in sober real life.
I was so uncomfortable in my own skin!
My advice is to get involved in something (anything) and GET OUT of your own head. It IS a very dangerous place to visit sometimes!
What you're experiencing are FEELINGS! whoa, what a concept. We've guzzled, snorted and smoked our way through our feelings for such a long time that in early recovery we are overwhelmed with such a barrage of them that they often leave us either angry or depressed. My outlet and solution for all my problems and celebrations was gone, zip... nada! I became depressed because I didn't know who I was anymore when I was sober. Angry at others for tip toeing around me. Angry at myself for blowing it.
For those in early recovery anger and depression are a major side effect.
It's not easy to deal with all those feelings.. they made me feel like I was drowning in sober real life.
I was so uncomfortable in my own skin!
My advice is to get involved in something (anything) and GET OUT of your own head. It IS a very dangerous place to visit sometimes!
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
I used to have two feelings that I would swing between: angry and depressed. It was easier to be angry, 'cos at least it felt like something was going on, a surplus of energy rather than an energy drain.
I know today that my anger is always a response to fear. When I worked the 12 Steps, I finally identified what I was afraid of, faced the fears and worked through them. Know what happened then?
The anger lessened. The depression lifted.
Yeah, I still get angry and I still have short depressions (hours now rather than days/weeks/years...). I'm human, after all. But they only last if I feed them through my actions. If I feed my recovery, I thrive.
I heard someone say this once: "It's like I have a white cat and a black cat fighting inside of me. Which one wins?
The one I feed..."
I know today that my anger is always a response to fear. When I worked the 12 Steps, I finally identified what I was afraid of, faced the fears and worked through them. Know what happened then?
The anger lessened. The depression lifted.
Yeah, I still get angry and I still have short depressions (hours now rather than days/weeks/years...). I'm human, after all. But they only last if I feed them through my actions. If I feed my recovery, I thrive.
I heard someone say this once: "It's like I have a white cat and a black cat fighting inside of me. Which one wins?
The one I feed..."
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Hi Guzler. Sharon and Alcoholic here. Would you like to share with us how u r feeling today? Are u in a better mood? A tad happier? : ) Do u work? What is it that u do? Are u into music? Play in a band? : ) What is it u like doing in ur spare time? Do u have a family? Just a little bit more about urself to let us know a little more about our new SR friend. : )
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