Is AA esstential
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Is AA esstential
ok my A hasnt taken to AA, he was going just to please other poeple and feels he doesnt want it right now, hes been doing well and had a few relapses, his doctor says AA isnt for everyone and its not actually insisted by the NHS its personal choice, and people can still recover without it ? do you feel this is true? or is it a cop out?
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yer, he is trying to get routine into his life something hes never had, he is starting counciling tomorrow for 12 weeks, which I hope he follows through. He has a buddy he can call through his brother church, not a sponser as such but someone who is willing to listen. He is also volentering to do an hour a week to visit OAP and he really into his gym at the moment, I hope these arent all distractions tho, but I suppose anythings better than spending your days in the pub or at home with a bootle of vodka, im hoping AA might be something he may take to in the future?
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Originally Posted by Five
I have not been to an AA meeting in a good 10 months.
Still sober. On the whole, happy.
Still sober. On the whole, happy.
He has had a few replapes in 2 months, is that a worry? hes not dwelling on it tho, just carrying on.
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Join Date: Oct 2005
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I think each case is unique in itself Jen. I guess helping yourself undestand the problem is a good start.
But as for 'AA or die' - no, it has been proven by many studies that is not the case (despite some very unfortunate people who believe it so).
James
But as for 'AA or die' - no, it has been proven by many studies that is not the case (despite some very unfortunate people who believe it so).
James
alconaut
Join Date: Sep 2005
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Hi CJ. It's good that your hubby is seeing a doctor, and one who recognizes that AA isn't the "only way". Perhaps since he recognizes this, he can recommend a good substance abuse counselor who offers a 12-step alternative. That would be a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist.
I agree with Minnie in that something is essential. Recovery is hard enough for an individual to tackle on their own, even for the willing. But then, your hubby might come through this without a whole lot of leftover issues, and can move on with his life. Lucky him, I say! In this case, he should at least educate himself regarding the hazards of alcohol abuse as motivation to remain sober.
I agree with Minnie in that something is essential. Recovery is hard enough for an individual to tackle on their own, even for the willing. But then, your hubby might come through this without a whole lot of leftover issues, and can move on with his life. Lucky him, I say! In this case, he should at least educate himself regarding the hazards of alcohol abuse as motivation to remain sober.
alconaut
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Originally Posted by confused_jen
yer, he is trying to get routine into his life something hes never had, he is starting counciling tomorrow for 12 weeks, which I hope he follows through.
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D (My hubby) had 6 session of alcohol counselling and used a CBT forum two or three times - it's now about 9 + 4 months before then not drinking but with the occassional slip (one or two weeks apart) months since he drank and things are going from strength to strength.
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My husband went to two AA meetings and decided it was not for him. He has been in counseling, though since January. Even the counselor had doubts that he would make it without AA (not many alternatives where we live), but he is still sober after almost 10 months.
On the flip side, I've read stories here about some who go to AA but aren't serious about recovery. They are doing it to appease their SO.
It all comes back to actions. My husband's actions show me that he really wants to change his life. How he does it is his business, not mine.
L
On the flip side, I've read stories here about some who go to AA but aren't serious about recovery. They are doing it to appease their SO.
It all comes back to actions. My husband's actions show me that he really wants to change his life. How he does it is his business, not mine.
L
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It's funny because looking back I realise how stressed I was about D having nothing ongoing. Despite the fact that all the actions went to say it was serious, despite the changes I could see in him - it took me a long time to validate those things as being enough in their own right.
I wouldn't swap what D is doing for regular AA or ANY other programme without what he's doing.
I'm with LTD - it boils down to actions.
BTW - I realised my edit stuff up my first post, D has been nearly 9 months no booze and very little for about 4 months before. It's been over a year since drinking was anything like regular.
I wouldn't swap what D is doing for regular AA or ANY other programme without what he's doing.
I'm with LTD - it boils down to actions.
BTW - I realised my edit stuff up my first post, D has been nearly 9 months no booze and very little for about 4 months before. It's been over a year since drinking was anything like regular.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Weimar, Texas 78962
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I would agree with those who said, "Absolutely not!" However, my thinking is that your husband needs to "latch on" to something Greater than he is!
I certainly found that in AA with my dependence on God.
I also reinforced my beliefs by going back to church.
I have been a member of AA for 24 years of total abstinence.
God bless you both!
I certainly found that in AA with my dependence on God.
I also reinforced my beliefs by going back to church.
I have been a member of AA for 24 years of total abstinence.
God bless you both!
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Well I am over a yr clean now and I've only been to 12 step meetings for a month or so...then I decided it was nothing for me and I went and got on SMART Recovery messageboard and chat and it helped me lots.
Marte
Marte
Its_me_jen
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Jen - in my opinion the short answer to your question is No, it is not essential. Best and Minnie are correct - Something is essential. It's up to him to figure out what the something is.
I've been sober for 233 days and I've been to 3 AA meetings, 2 of them in the last week. So - It is very possible to recover/stay sober without AA. I'll admit (now that I'm being forced to examine it, thank you very much!) that something was essential to my sobriety but I'm not sure what it was. I probably should know what it is. Eeeeee!
Whatever works!
~doll
I've been sober for 233 days and I've been to 3 AA meetings, 2 of them in the last week. So - It is very possible to recover/stay sober without AA. I'll admit (now that I'm being forced to examine it, thank you very much!) that something was essential to my sobriety but I'm not sure what it was. I probably should know what it is. Eeeeee!
Whatever works!
~doll
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Its my understanding that just not drinking is not most of the issues that a Alcoholic faces. Its a lifestyle change, its being honest with yourself and taking the right steps to not only correct the unacceptable behavior but to dig deeply inside of yourself to root out the issues.
I do know some people that are alcoholics and do not work any type of program but they are still the same people... how does the saying go....
If a drunk horse theif stops drinking what do you have ... a sober horse theif??? something like that.
I do know some people that are alcoholics and do not work any type of program but they are still the same people... how does the saying go....
If a drunk horse theif stops drinking what do you have ... a sober horse theif??? something like that.
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I do know some people that are alcoholics and do not work any type of program but they are still the same people... how does the saying go....
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*laughs*
I did not mean that in a good way. Most Alcoholics I know have very destrustive behaviors, they are selfish to a fault, manuplative, hurtful and sometimes just plaine cruel....
The ones I were refering too behave no differently then when they were drinking.... which in some ways can be harder.... if they are not drinking but are still jerks ... I as a codi cant find a way to accepted the behavior, if they are drinking at least I can blame the alcohol... *laughs* yea I know....
I did not mean that in a good way. Most Alcoholics I know have very destrustive behaviors, they are selfish to a fault, manuplative, hurtful and sometimes just plaine cruel....
The ones I were refering too behave no differently then when they were drinking.... which in some ways can be harder.... if they are not drinking but are still jerks ... I as a codi cant find a way to accepted the behavior, if they are drinking at least I can blame the alcohol... *laughs* yea I know....
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