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Old 07-23-2006, 06:58 PM
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I'm new here.

Hello. I've spent the last day and a half perusing this site and and several others related to alcohol abuse. I'm in my mid-forties and have been a heavy drinker for all of my adult life. I've come to a point in my life where I believe it is time for me to put alcohol aside not only for my own well being, but also to assure the well being and happiness of those I love.

I've sought counseling several times in the last five years, and when I think back on those half hearted attempts at quitting I find myself embarrassed. Over the course of the last six to eight months I have managed to make it up to four weeks on two occasions without having a drink, only to follow with weekend long benders that led to blackouts and left me shaking and depressed. They have also severely depressed my wife. Thankfully, my nine year old daughter seems to be relatively unaffected, though I may be kidding myself in this regard.

I played in a golf outing on Friday. I had assured my wife that I would keep my consumption to a minimum. When I found out I would be riding to and from the outing with a friend, I put a quart of Vodka in my golf bag and drank most of it during the round, had drinks in the bar afterword, and then woke up the next morning with no memory from mid-afternoon on. I found a note on the bathroom vanity that said my wife and daughter would be home that night, and if I drank that day my wife would divorce me. I have not had anything to drink since Friday.

I'm sorry for the rambling length of my first post. Over the course of the next week or so, I hope to formulate a plan to remove the use of alcohol from my life. I have been very impressed with the threads I have read on this site, and hope to include visits to this site in that plan.

I felt like a post here was at least a start. I hope I have it in the appropriate forum. I hit the submit button with great anxiety, but also with hope.
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Old 07-23-2006, 07:14 PM
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This is a great place to start. Hang in there and seek help. I've only been sober 4 days so I don't have lots of advice but I keep coming here for strength.

be strong
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Old 07-23-2006, 07:22 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive.
I suggest you get more factual info

My favorite book on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"

Both can be ordered from Amazon...

Blackouts are explained on page 119 im "Umder"
The info in that book finally got me sober!!


Glad to see a new member...we do understand and you are not alone.

Blessings...
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Old 07-23-2006, 07:29 PM
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Let Go & Let God
 
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Congratulations!

Musky!! I'm so glad you're here! Please know you are not alone. There are so many wonderful people on this site who will always offer support, advice, straight-talk or whatever else you need. Congratulations for having the courage to submit that first post.

Please keep AA in mind as you formulate a plan. The support of other alcoholics in the flesh cannot be matched (and the applause you get for being an alcoholic is awesome -- so full of love and hope!) The program does work if you work it!

Keep posting!!

Saz
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Old 07-23-2006, 07:42 PM
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Welcome to the site. SR has been a very useful tool in my recovery over the last few years. I hope you will find it helpful as well. I was a hopeless drunk who got sober with the help of AA. I couldn't get sober on my own. I tried many times and failed miserably every time. I like you could put a few days together, followed by a huge binge leaving me shaking and wondering why? Why do I do this to myself and to my loved ones. There is a solution. Keep coming back.
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Old 07-23-2006, 07:52 PM
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Hi Musky!
Welcome to SR, I'm pretty new here, but the members are nice and the Sticky Notes provide good info.
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Old 07-23-2006, 07:53 PM
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We all need each other.
 
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Hello Musky--Just wanted to add my welcome. Glad you found us.

SR is a wonderful place for support and encouragment. However, I hope that when formulating your plan you also include some face to face support. I go to AA and if you have any questions about it please feel free to let me know. There are others here who have experience with the many other options for recovery. Be patient with yourself and try to take it one day at a time. You don't ever have to drink again....

Hand in there!
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Old 07-24-2006, 04:42 AM
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Hey Musky....Just wanted to drop you a line and say welcome ...Im entering my 6th day sober and drug free....Im gonna tell ya this site is a great forum...everyone here has been so helpful...supportive and compassionate....Im looking forward to entering my first full week of recovery...with the help of my Outpatient counselor...my girlfriend...Im starting to feel the strength grow...I went to 2 AA mtgs over the wkd...my first in 3.5 yrs....Every one wants to help...its so empowering....just remember you are not alone...there is help out there if you really want to make that change.....Peace and Much Love....C.
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Old 07-24-2006, 04:55 AM
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Hi and welcome!!.
You are no longer all alone.
There is hope,and solutions,
folks who have been where you are today,in recovery rooms,,learning a new way to live,now living effective,sober lives!!!
You can do it to,
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Old 07-24-2006, 05:31 AM
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helo n welcome to this forum!!
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Old 07-24-2006, 05:56 AM
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Welcome Musky,
As they said, you are not alone..keep coming and posting so that everyone can help you through another day..Chris, congratulations on your 6 days, that is awesome..it only gets better and better..and it will get easier..Glad you are here..
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Old 07-24-2006, 06:00 AM
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I'm HOME!!!!!
 
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WELCOME TO SR . It took a lot of courage to come here, and this is a first step. Welcome...look forward to seeing you.
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Old 07-24-2006, 06:06 AM
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Hiyas Musky,
Welcome to SR. Congrats on your first step to recovery!!!! I cant say anything that hasnt been said already by others. Just staoy strong and keep posting!!!! We are all here and in this together!!!!!!!
Liss
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Old 07-24-2006, 07:47 AM
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Trying to do the right thing.
 
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WELCOME TO SR



MUSKY


Glad You found us honi, stick with it...x
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:05 AM
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My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
 
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(musky), Welcome to SR, and thanks for posting. I'm sorry you're so close to losing your wife and daughter. I hope that doesn't happen.

I also recommend AA. It's been great for me. Our Step 12 requires us to try to carry this program to others. Right now, you're others. Let us help you help yourself. It's private and anonymous, no last names, no identifying details. Also, we all were where you are. We all came to our first meeting once.

I've been sober over 17 1/2 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:23 AM
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Musky....welcome to SR.

I can't add much to what has already been posted but we are all in this together and with support, you can get through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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Old 07-24-2006, 10:54 AM
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Hi Musky!

Welcome to SR!

It did take a lot of courage for you to send that post. You are heading in the right direction.

I have 35 days sobriety right now. Not much, but it's getting a little easier. I've been going to AA meetings about 3 times a week, and reading books on alcoholism including the book I am reading currently: "Drinking, A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp.

Fear of losing my family caused me to finally wake up and recognize that I have got to stop drinking. My husband has been very supportive, but I realize that spouses can only take so much. It's so hard to realize that our drinking can hurt other people, especially the people that we love. I mean, when we drink we are not doing it to hurt other people; we are doing it to make ourselves feel better. Alcohol is so deceptive. After my last few blackouts, I had the feeling that "my friend alcohol" (usually white zinfandel, but beer or vodka or tequilla were just fine too) had betrayed me. Alcohol lies to us and makes promises that it can't keep. I started to become obsessed with the thought that every time I drank that I was playing Russian Roulette with my family.

Writing down all the reasons why I wanted to quit was helpful for me (hangovers, shame, fear of DUI's and going to jail, and of course fear of losing my family). Listing out all the gritty details and then actually seeing them in writing was a powerful motivater for me.

You are doing GREAT! Just keep coming back and working on your recovery plan!

Come hop on "There's a New Bus in Town" thread when you get a chance! We try to check on each other every day. It's a fun ride!

We are getting stronger everyday. :Weightlif
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