Self-Cons And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
Self-Cons And Other Lies We Tell Ourselves
I'm noticing another self-con starting to creep into my thoughts... I'm throwing it into the psychological category, (as opposed to physical, emotional or spiritual).
It goes like this: "...in a few months, I'll find me a designated driver, then hit my favorite pubs and have one night of a drunken blowout get sh*t faced and vomit, party 'till you puke night of fun -- hey, I'll have earned it, right? And it'll only be once and the three-day hangover will keep me from doing it again for a while anyway..."
Talk about planning your relapse! ... Listen to the insanity! ... Does that sound like "fun"?
I tell it to go away. When it comes back, I say yeah sure, but NOT today.
Amazing how we try to con ourselves, huh?
So what are some of the things your addiction whispers into your ear?
It goes like this: "...in a few months, I'll find me a designated driver, then hit my favorite pubs and have one night of a drunken blowout get sh*t faced and vomit, party 'till you puke night of fun -- hey, I'll have earned it, right? And it'll only be once and the three-day hangover will keep me from doing it again for a while anyway..."
Talk about planning your relapse! ... Listen to the insanity! ... Does that sound like "fun"?
I tell it to go away. When it comes back, I say yeah sure, but NOT today.
Amazing how we try to con ourselves, huh?
So what are some of the things your addiction whispers into your ear?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: home of the liquid sunshine-Florida
Posts: 294
I have faced the reality that I will not be able to drink any more. I just will CHOOSE NOT TO. However, I always did enjoy a good bottle of wine or 3 with a good meal. I passed by a wine conneseur book tonight and just for a fleeting second was melancholy. I thought to myself, man am I gonna miss that wine.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: No Need 2 Know
Posts: 66
Everyone in your family knows your an addict now, so, what's the big deal? Give them some "juicy-scoop.....
Your cousin died, you spoke at his funeral, they will understand. You are at an all time low right now. Surely they know that that is when addicts use the most!....
Go on, you have a disease. Just go in and convince your Dr. to give you a "few" pills. That will prevent you from going days and days and that way you can "control" your use...
It's been so long now, you would only need a few to get you high and get you by....
Your cousin died, you spoke at his funeral, they will understand. You are at an all time low right now. Surely they know that that is when addicts use the most!....
Go on, you have a disease. Just go in and convince your Dr. to give you a "few" pills. That will prevent you from going days and days and that way you can "control" your use...
It's been so long now, you would only need a few to get you high and get you by....
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
Another member has an avatar that I find hilarious! "I live in my own little world, but that's OK, they all know me here."
On a T-shirt: "I hear voices.... and they don't like you"
I still occasionally have drinking dreams. Sometimes they're so vivid that when I wake up I think I really have slipped and will have to change my sobriety date. The drink devil gave up on planting thoughts that made me hear voices telling me to slip. It just wasn't working. He moved on years ago. Here's a saying that might help. It's on the anchor of a Cold War-era battleship on display somewhere: "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom."
Have a good, sober day. Tell the voices to shut up.
On a T-shirt: "I hear voices.... and they don't like you"
I still occasionally have drinking dreams. Sometimes they're so vivid that when I wake up I think I really have slipped and will have to change my sobriety date. The drink devil gave up on planting thoughts that made me hear voices telling me to slip. It just wasn't working. He moved on years ago. Here's a saying that might help. It's on the anchor of a Cold War-era battleship on display somewhere: "Eternal vigilance is the price of freedom."
Have a good, sober day. Tell the voices to shut up.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
One thing that I have learned is that there is no way that I can use on the truth, I would have to believe in a lie for me to go back out and use. Just for Today, WE never have to use again.
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
Here's another one that creeps up sometimes...
Wouldn't it be nice to just hang out at the pub again? Now that you know you have a problem, you can take steps to deal with it. Just nurse one or two and then switch to water for the rest of the night and leave after a few hours. Really, why should you limit yourself to not going to the pub again? There's people to talk to there too.
The thing is, I've tried that in the past. I already KNOW that that isn't how things will play out. After two I'll figure that a third won't matter, and what's this? Empty already? Why, that one hardly counted so why not get a fourth? Might as well stop counting now -- there's plenty of time before the place closes and what's this? Empty again already? There must be a hole in the glass, (yeah, its at the top -- the part that keeps going to your mouth!).
Even if I DO manage to control things at first, I know that it will soon get out of hand. Once in a while will turn into once a week will turn into a few times a week, and -bam- I'll be right back where I was... AGAIN.
I remember how the craving felt and what it was like -- trying to plan how many more beers I could swill before the place closed -- should I go to another place that stays open later too? -- how much money do I have left -- will they let me order two beers for last call and can I drink them quickly enough -- how about a shot to make up for lack of time -- boy this beer tastes good -- just like water -- I wish I had a bigger glass, NOW!
And then there'll be all the anguish to deal with, plus having to deal with the day all hung over and miserable, plus I'll start "white-knuckling" again on the days that I don't drink -- it will start to consume my life once again. Screw that.
I'm at day 20. I don't want to start all over again. Keep working the behavior changes -- the reconditioning -- and the self-cons will start to go away.
Another self-con dismissed. "You are the weakest link. Good-bye."
Wouldn't it be nice to just hang out at the pub again? Now that you know you have a problem, you can take steps to deal with it. Just nurse one or two and then switch to water for the rest of the night and leave after a few hours. Really, why should you limit yourself to not going to the pub again? There's people to talk to there too.
The thing is, I've tried that in the past. I already KNOW that that isn't how things will play out. After two I'll figure that a third won't matter, and what's this? Empty already? Why, that one hardly counted so why not get a fourth? Might as well stop counting now -- there's plenty of time before the place closes and what's this? Empty again already? There must be a hole in the glass, (yeah, its at the top -- the part that keeps going to your mouth!).
Even if I DO manage to control things at first, I know that it will soon get out of hand. Once in a while will turn into once a week will turn into a few times a week, and -bam- I'll be right back where I was... AGAIN.
I remember how the craving felt and what it was like -- trying to plan how many more beers I could swill before the place closed -- should I go to another place that stays open later too? -- how much money do I have left -- will they let me order two beers for last call and can I drink them quickly enough -- how about a shot to make up for lack of time -- boy this beer tastes good -- just like water -- I wish I had a bigger glass, NOW!
And then there'll be all the anguish to deal with, plus having to deal with the day all hung over and miserable, plus I'll start "white-knuckling" again on the days that I don't drink -- it will start to consume my life once again. Screw that.
I'm at day 20. I don't want to start all over again. Keep working the behavior changes -- the reconditioning -- and the self-cons will start to go away.
Another self-con dismissed. "You are the weakest link. Good-bye."
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
Gee, look how frustrating work has been these past months. And the family situation is getting all weird again too. Don't you deserve a break from all the stress you've had to deal with lately? C'mon, just one nice cold pint while you take a breather won't hurt, and it'll relax you and help you deal with everything.
I've got this image of myself in a bar on a scorching hot day with the pint already poured in front of me. I'm holding the frosty glass in my hand, thinking about the day. I bring it to my lips and inhale the flavorful aroma. I touch the glass to my lips and start to drink.
Out of the blue the fisherman (alcohol) raises the pole quickly and sets the hook in my mouth. You can hear the drag clicking away as he starts to reel me in. The glass goes flying as I'm pulled along the line off the bar stool. Before you know it he's got me in the net and my life is reduced to gasping for breath!
Yeah, I'll pass on that. Dismissed.
I've got this image of myself in a bar on a scorching hot day with the pint already poured in front of me. I'm holding the frosty glass in my hand, thinking about the day. I bring it to my lips and inhale the flavorful aroma. I touch the glass to my lips and start to drink.
Out of the blue the fisherman (alcohol) raises the pole quickly and sets the hook in my mouth. You can hear the drag clicking away as he starts to reel me in. The glass goes flying as I'm pulled along the line off the bar stool. Before you know it he's got me in the net and my life is reduced to gasping for breath!
Yeah, I'll pass on that. Dismissed.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 93
My last relapse was planned. I got clean a couple days before I left to visit my son. I was dope sick and I felt awful but I told myself it was only for 10 days and when I left I could start using again. Problem is the relapse happened four days early and now his family is not speaking to me and I will probably never get to see him again.
What else? Just have a little and then the cravings will go away and you can get back to staying clean. Uh yeah...
What else? Just have a little and then the cravings will go away and you can get back to staying clean. Uh yeah...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finding out what I have been missing!
Posts: 1,011
Wouldn't it be nice to just hang out at the pub again? Now that you know you have a problem, you can take steps to deal with it. Just nurse one or two and then switch to water for the rest of the night and leave after a few hours
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 178
Hector,
I can relate to the dreams you have. I either dream I'm looking and looking and looking for my cocaine and can't find it. Those are the "good" dreams. Or I dream that I have my cocaine and I'm using. Those are the bad ones. When I wake up, it takes me a few minutes to convince myself that I am glad it was only a dream.
Carol
I can relate to the dreams you have. I either dream I'm looking and looking and looking for my cocaine and can't find it. Those are the "good" dreams. Or I dream that I have my cocaine and I'm using. Those are the bad ones. When I wake up, it takes me a few minutes to convince myself that I am glad it was only a dream.
Carol
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
Its a cunning, powerful and cunning dis ease and we need to be ever vigilant. Best way for me is to do the drill, stay clean, talk to my spnsor, pray, do a meeting every day, read and keep close to my program, its my base my foundation. When I do this I am in life not in my addiction or my head.
Kevin
Kevin
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Try this...imagine yourself in an AA meeting. I have managed to keep those voices at bay by working a program. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I even heard the voice. It gets better...
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