It’s not as hard as it could be
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 72
It’s not as hard as it could be
I need to let everyone know the realization of quitting drugs and/or drinking, its not just the reasons of you could lose things, such as home, family, job, etc. There is another far more important reason, which is the reason I quit.
Unfortunately, the reason for my quitting is a sad but true story:
On December 13, 2005, a police officer came to my house to let me know they had just found my sister dead on her living room floor from a cocaine overdose. I just lost it and thought if she could die from an overdose then I could have just as well, because I did it just like she had. There was no difference between the 2 of us except that she died and I didn’t, But I knew I would be next.
To look at her you would never have thought she had a drug problem. She was a 35 year old gorgeous woman, but most importantly just as beautiful on the inside. She lived every day of her life to the fullest, and she was so very loved. At her funeral there were about 2000 people. Because of drugs my family and I are all suffering and will for the rest of our lives, the pain and emptiness will never go away. I don’t want to do that to anyone in my life, do you?
A few days after her funeral, my husband & family sat me down and gave me the intervention I was praying for. After the initial shock and anger of everyone around me, I finally got up and looked at all of them and said “It’s about F _ _ _ _ _ _ time you guys did this. Which is sad, because I didn’t know how to go for help that was there all along. I want you to know that even the people you think will be mad at you are willing to help you, especially if it is to help yourself. Like I said above, it’s not as hard as you think, for me putting down the straw was the easy part, it was facing my problems head on that was hard, but I dealt with it and now I can live life so much easier.
I am a cocaine addict and have been sober over 6 months now and living a very happy and more importantly a NORMAL life. (Wow, I’m still amazed.) Before I got sober I just assumed that quitting drugs would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. After all, drugs were my very best friend in the beginning of it all and then it was my worst enemy, just like you I’m sure.
Yeah, I admit I slip now and then but I wont give up and I wont beat myself up over it because the next day I will do what ever it takes to start all over again. It really is one day at a time or in some cases, 1 minute at a time. Take what you need, and begin to enjoy life.
Always here
Debby
Unfortunately, the reason for my quitting is a sad but true story:
On December 13, 2005, a police officer came to my house to let me know they had just found my sister dead on her living room floor from a cocaine overdose. I just lost it and thought if she could die from an overdose then I could have just as well, because I did it just like she had. There was no difference between the 2 of us except that she died and I didn’t, But I knew I would be next.
To look at her you would never have thought she had a drug problem. She was a 35 year old gorgeous woman, but most importantly just as beautiful on the inside. She lived every day of her life to the fullest, and she was so very loved. At her funeral there were about 2000 people. Because of drugs my family and I are all suffering and will for the rest of our lives, the pain and emptiness will never go away. I don’t want to do that to anyone in my life, do you?
A few days after her funeral, my husband & family sat me down and gave me the intervention I was praying for. After the initial shock and anger of everyone around me, I finally got up and looked at all of them and said “It’s about F _ _ _ _ _ _ time you guys did this. Which is sad, because I didn’t know how to go for help that was there all along. I want you to know that even the people you think will be mad at you are willing to help you, especially if it is to help yourself. Like I said above, it’s not as hard as you think, for me putting down the straw was the easy part, it was facing my problems head on that was hard, but I dealt with it and now I can live life so much easier.
I am a cocaine addict and have been sober over 6 months now and living a very happy and more importantly a NORMAL life. (Wow, I’m still amazed.) Before I got sober I just assumed that quitting drugs would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. After all, drugs were my very best friend in the beginning of it all and then it was my worst enemy, just like you I’m sure.
Yeah, I admit I slip now and then but I wont give up and I wont beat myself up over it because the next day I will do what ever it takes to start all over again. It really is one day at a time or in some cases, 1 minute at a time. Take what you need, and begin to enjoy life.
Always here
Debby
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Congratulations on your 6 months Debby. I'm very sorry about your sister. When we are using we forget that we are not indestructible, we are. I too was scared sober. I was afraid I would die. I really believe I would have if I continued to drink. But I took the fuel away from the fire and my life was spared. Continue to spread the message. There is a solution...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
Debby, the fact hat your sister died is a huge part of your life. I am not sure how you both got wrapped up with the same addiction but i can tell you i know it is the devils drug from what people say. (lets say one of the devils drugs)
I hope that you will take the sorrow and the pain with you and learn from it. how would your loved ones feel if they got the same message?
I know this has to be an impossible time for you, just remember that we all go thru it, just different ways, and i can never imagine losing a sibling to an addiction so strong.
i am so glad you came here, although i am not sure how you found it. if you stay here, you will gain support and strength.
god bless
mertyl
I hope that you will take the sorrow and the pain with you and learn from it. how would your loved ones feel if they got the same message?
I know this has to be an impossible time for you, just remember that we all go thru it, just different ways, and i can never imagine losing a sibling to an addiction so strong.
i am so glad you came here, although i am not sure how you found it. if you stay here, you will gain support and strength.
god bless
mertyl
You're never alone!!
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,191
Hey Debby,,
Thanks so much for sharing your very painful, yet very important piece of life with us..
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear beautiful sister.. It's very painful to lose someone we love. But when we lose them to drugs, it just makes the loss feel that much more senseless.
I'm happy that you have worked hard, and are in recovery. I'm also grateful that you are willing to share this with us, I always feel if I affect 1 person, than I am doing something, besides helping myself, and that to me is what recovery is also about, helping others.
Great to have you here..
Prayers my friend,,
Becky
Thanks so much for sharing your very painful, yet very important piece of life with us..
I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear beautiful sister.. It's very painful to lose someone we love. But when we lose them to drugs, it just makes the loss feel that much more senseless.
I'm happy that you have worked hard, and are in recovery. I'm also grateful that you are willing to share this with us, I always feel if I affect 1 person, than I am doing something, besides helping myself, and that to me is what recovery is also about, helping others.
Great to have you here..
Prayers my friend,,
Becky
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: sydney,australia
Posts: 23
i lost my mother to cancer in '02 ..grief is the hardest thing ....and everythings been downhill since! like you,i am PRAYING for someone to care enough to stop me...but,as there is really-nooone-sometimes you have to do it for yourself..im trying- but it is soo goddamn hard when youre alone!i just hope i meet someone or something!,as you did- before im 'lost potential'!....but really- YOU ARE ALL WORTH LIFE! ive read thse posts and thats the best way i can respond.
love
tashi
love
tashi
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