CodeMaster

yeah im fallin for my gf, never thought id ask this question, but was wondering if anyone knew or had any tips on best place to buy a ring??

PaperDolls

Well first off congrats!

I sold my very expensive wedding from my ex years ago for very little money to a pawn shop. You might check there! But, yeah, she might not go for that.

I think the key is to may it very personal. Personal to your story together and your love together.

I wish you all the luck and I'm glad you're happy and in love!

Zoey

Just go to some good stores and price and they will tell you how good it is.
Then see if the next one tells you the same. etc.

When you buy one I would then go to a different store where you have never been and ask to have it appraised for insurance purposes. Unless where you are looking they say they give you an appraisal for insurance.
It is a shame we cannot trust stores any longer, but I wouldn't.

I think it would be good to go window shoping some evening near a jewlry store, stop and look and see what she likes. Some like and want a plain gold band. Some like white gold best others want only gold gold.

Does she wear earrings, tiny or large?? You will have such fun with this project.You will learn more about her.

I am happy for you, you have come a long way. ((hugs))

Cynay

Code....

What??? Engaged, you cant get engaged.... we started here around the same time and Im still sick.... so you must be tooooooo!

Teasing you sweetie.... tell me about the GF.... how long have you been dating, come I want to know all about it.

ChildlikeFaith

I got mine at Wal-Mart, and it is actually pretty nice. I guess it depends on your budget

pmaslan

Codemaster......even though Cynay was kidding I am not...
I will say to you what I said to her just a couple short months ago...
"What the heck is your hurry?
Only little over a year ago you were at your bottom.....
I would encourage you to wait a little while longer...
Can't imagine what the hurry is at your age......
JMHO

denny57

I'm just struck by the beginning of your sentence: I'm fallin for my gf; not i've fallen. I would take it slow. Have you discussed marriage? On the ring question, take a look at what other jewelry she has; find out where she likes to buy.

Good luck. Glad you have found somone you care for.

Jazzman

Really, is she pregnant or something?!?!?
Dude... chill out man.
Live together w/ a looooooong angagement. Get a dog together and see if you two can be effective co-parents.

That's what I tell my boys.

Minx1969

Thanks Patty and Jazz for saying what I've already been thinking..

It's only been - 8 months?

Maybe you guys out to do a premaritial class next (try the FOCCUS questionnaire) to see if you have any dealbreakers..They aren't just drugs and alcohol ya know...

Look - L and I have been together for a year and we're not engaged yet..And i'm what 10 years older...

slow down...why not revisit this in another 6 months...

When the infatuation stage ends (also called limerance) it's been 6 months to a year..

then you really see who your partner is.

Also - I recommend you too go to a bookstore and buy : The Hard Questions: 100 Essential Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do" (Paperback)

or something similar...

mfisher

I am with the other "Moms" here, take your time. I have been in a relationship for over a year and marriage is a ways off. Lots of issues to resolve. A ring is an object and relationship is a lifetime piece of work.
Get over the honeymoon period, things do change after a year or so. Luckily mine continue to go in a possitive direction.
Best of luck to you.

CodeMaster

Hey, these are amazing advice... I'm always glad I asked here before making major decisions. Just to clarify, I'm just starting my research now and hoping to propose with a well selected researched out ring by end of year as a suprise. I did NOT get her pregnant (thank god), she's on BC anyways (hopefully that works as its suppose to).

I can say honestly with myself I am truly in love with her, she gives me a feeling of love euphoria through out the days every single day and all I want is to be with her, she does everything I have ever WANTED in a girl and I think I'm hitting a maturity stage of starting to know what I want in a girl, and also knowing who I am. You know I've always heard when you meet the right one, you will KNOW it.

It isnt the dellussional in love feeling I had before where it was always based on needs, or care taking, she is amazing uniquely in many ways.

Here are some high quality reasons why I think she is so special:

+I'm her first
+She isnt the kind to go clubbing and rub her ass against other guys when I'm not there (I've heard her friends who go around kissing 20 guys a night tell me on the same night my gf would kiss none, and I can tell if its a lie or not, her friend looked me in the eye in the way I know honest people look at and told me this), I could go on about how innocent she is but just trust me.
+She loves to look beautiful and sexy (she looks like the girls I always love in LA except she has the heart and innocence of a non typically sexy girl). You'd never imagine her so innocent as sexy as she looks.
+She gives me so much, from help, to love, to laughter, to helping me make healthy decisions, to anything and everything all out just love

She gives me a euphoia of love feeling all day and night naturally, I've stopped smoking on the day I met her, which happened to be my birthday which Destiny sent to me as a gift and belief I will turn healthy. It was my time, it was her time, I was just healthy enough to get to meet someone like her who I dont think I deserve. Her parents background is good and similar to my parents. This is kind of superstition, but also the chinese horoscopes say those born on year of horse (me) get along best with those born on year of dog (my gf). Sure, I dont put too much stock in it, but yet everyone I met her age I tend to get along extra well. Anyhow, thats another topic.

I've met her parents, I love everything about her, I dont declare myself healthy, but I wonder if I can sense "the one" whether I'm healthy or not. In anycase, I am looking to buy a ring end of the year but I dont want it to be rushed and half assed job so I am just researching now.

Just my 2 cents, sometimes I think I am young, but sometimes I think she is too unique to risk fishing around anymore. Not to mention, I think Destiny sent her to save me if anything! hah...






To be objective, she has mentioned she is interested in marriage. She isnt interested in playing around, she wants to work towards a future, an "investment" and so would I. I dont want to be paying for someone who is just fun and games and in the end they leave and I kind of put money and time in "bad investment". That has been her main reason for marriage.

To be really objective, I am aware that marrying her will benefit her a green card, I have more assets then her so she will start to gain financially. I've thought through if any of these reasons were on her mind to kind of USE me, but after careful thinking of her scenario, I dont think it is.... She has had plenty of opportunity to marry people just for green card but she was not interested at all, her family is well off and not poor type that would need her to fraud some guy like me.

On top of that, she graduated from Stanford, and I've met her parents and we all like each other very much. She looks OK on those potential red flaggers....




Wha'd ya think??

CodeMaster

I will check out that book, thats a good way to research my actions too, thanks for the referral!

elizabeth1979

Codemaster! So glad to see you bud!
Hey, I personally dont think theres any rush either, but am glad you are happy! Marriages are easier to DO than Undo.

If the euphoric feeling left and there was no exciting feelings..how would that feel to you ?

CodeMaster

Well I mean, I would imagine our love for each other would still be there as everything we've done for each other and the relationship we've built still there.

I'm guessing there are ups and downs, but all in all there should always be "fire" in the relationship, which would create the lovey dovey feelings eh? If that fire is out for too long, it may end the fire permanently. So if a relationship doesnt have that feeling for way too long, eventually the fire will die all out and that can mean end to things eh?

CarolD

Home Shopping Netwook has excellent Gemstones.

My 3 Carat Burmese Ruby ring..
A GIA appraisal was over twice what I paid for it.

Every piece I boutght there has appraised well.

And they have a 30 day return policy.

I love their Burnese Runies and Columbian Emeralds

They also carry lovely Jade..

Have you researched the GIA website?
the Gemology Institude of America

Cynay

How long have you been dating?

How old are both of you?

How do you feel about long engagements?

How do you both feel about premarital counceling?

I dont know Code..... I do know that feeling of when you meet "The One" I have felt it ... and I wont say they were not the one, I will however say they were the one "at that time" I think marriage takes a maturity, especially today...and I just dont see the hurry in getting married right away. I know some dont think the same way, but have you thought of living with her?

CodeMaster

Dating 9 months, by end of year (when I plan to propose) it'll be 14 months (almost year and half).

I'm 27, shes 24.

I dont think long engagements make sense, sometimes I wonder if theres a reason for the stall subconsciously... but then again, my parents were together for a long time and still together today. They didnt get married till way long later

I never thought about premarital counseling.

I guess I feel rushed because I want to relieve her of depending on her company for her visa. I also want to be "one" with her through marriage as it will give me a feeling of investment. I feel like, if we are spending time and money together, we should be invested in each other. So when I pay for this or she pays for that, its like we are using each others money, we are building on each other. I just feel like it isnt like I pay for a gf and one day we end and what a waste.

I want her to have the security of knowing how committed I am, as she is always saying things like though she loves me, she cant depend on me for her life. She is working hard and thinking of going to business school to advance her career. While I like her ambition and I think she will continue to grow even if we marry, I think she is centering her decisions on the fact that she has to live and think as if she is still alone. And this may even result in school in a far city maybe, it all depends on how much she thinks we have a future together. I love her dearly enough to want to relieve her of all of this, and I personally dont want to lose her either. She wants a feeling of a future, investment, etc, I want to give it to her simply cause I love her, and I too want her with me.

Regarding living together, we've temporarily lived together for a month when she just needed a temp place to stay while she moved apartments. She says she doesnt believe in living together before marriage, she wanted to hold her virginity till marriage too but she believed I would be the one and gave it to me.

What are the chances a man like me at my age, could find a girl like her at her age and with her beauty and pure heart innocence still a virgin? She has dedicated her purity to me and she is not only good in soul, but just amazing beauty.

How unique is this to me... what are the chances I will find healthy, beauty, virginity, good faimly background, financially well off family, and always happy spirited person and I get along so naturally well with like my gf?

These things I figured are once in a lifetime, it was more then a random chance, I think it is Destiny. This is why I think she is more then just another date.

But I know I may not see things clearly since I'm in it...

Minx1969

Smart girl...She sounds like she has her boundaries firmly in place.

Code - marriage is a partnership...which means there is give and take..I understand that guys want to take care of their women (my bf is the same way) but I will never let myself become dependent on anyone..I will always have my own finances, credit etc..just in case.

One thing bothers me thought..you don't mention much about your common values, beliefs etc..

You talk alot about her beauty, her family, her families money..But how about your belief system and her belief system...

One red flag (from your side)..There is not always going to be "fire" in a relationship..It takes work every day from both sides to keep that fire going. Sickness, family problems etc. can dim that fire..

You need to check that expectation or you are setting yourself up for failure.

So - check out that premaritial counselling..would ya?

CodeMaster

Well I didnt mention common values because we get along so well that part of that reason is cause we have a lot in common...

We do have a lot in common, from what we like to do for fun, we both workout almost everyday, love to be productive, like similar music, like to dance, etc etc... we're like best buddies which is really NICE!

She has no addiction of any kind, just plain ole smart and healthy minded and physically.

Only one possible contracdicting belief is she likes to go to church on Sundays, but I kind of had my drama with church and dont like to go. I mean, I think if you really believe, you should execute your religion regardless of if I go or not, she doesnt go if I dont go cause she doesnt like to go alone. I've gone with her a few times but I stopped, if she wants to go badly enough, I'll still go with her but I dont think she is that serious about religion cause if you are, you would follow your religion despite any one going with you. In anycase, it doesnt seem to be a real issue as we both seem flexible about it...

I dont expect there to ALWAYS be a "fire", I'm just saying if both sides are working at the relationship, I dont see why the fire wont stay strong.... Of course if one of us gets sick thats a different story ...

I'll look into what premarital counseling is about, thanks for introducing me to that...

best

OUCH!

Wasn't a big deal for me when we first were married but it sure is now.

As far as premarital counseling...
When you go, listen and collect info in a manner that you want to learn the most you can to help others.
What is given, most people ignore as they say...It will never happen to us.
Down the road when a problem comes up...Why didn't someone tell us about this?
But they did. Most ignored it in the premarital counseling because.."It will never happen to us."
It will happen. It does happen and knowing what to do before it happens...we can stop it when it starts. Learning the triggers and using communication before a problem comes about...we can have things not happen to us.

As for the rings... 18 carat-22 carat gold. 22 being the better is what you should look for. Where you get them isn't so big a deal. Making the choice together is more important.