I was doing so well and then.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pleasant Hill, California
Posts: 20
I was doing so well and then.....
........my daughter was caught shoplifting today while I was with her. Security took her in the back and I was terrifed. I was shaken up for a few hours and then we left the store when all was over. And....what did I do.... I opened up the bottle of vodka that was sitting in my freezer for a week. So.... after about 2 weeks of being sober I am drinking again. I am very upset with myself, but I didn't know what else to do. I hope I don't start a drinking pattern again. I just took one shot. But you all know what that leads to. I'm scared. I will be getting a fine in the mail because I was an accomplish. Will my life ever get better? I'm down in the dumps again and want to die. Please help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Hi, im Sharon and im an Alcoholic.
How's ur daughter?
What happened to her with the shoplifting?
What if the bottle of Vodka WASN'T in the refrigerator?
Why were you keeping the Vodka?
Just a few questions to ponder over.
When i was in rehab for 28 days my husband took all the alcohol out of the house. It was suggested to me that if i was to stay sober then i needed to make some MAJOR changes in my life.
Changes like: GETTING RID OF PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS THAT REMIND ME OF ALCOHOL.
I had the DESIRE to not want to drink anymore ONE DAY AT A TIME with the tools provided to me in AA. To go to ANY LENGTHS to stay sober.
If the alcohol is not in my home then i cant drink it. If i really wanted to drink i could run to the store ....OR....GO TO A MEETING. I had a CHOICE there and SO DO YOU.
2 weeks was a good start....its like a couple of steps forward in the right direction and with a drink u stepped back ONE. Pick urself up, dust urself off and make a choice to throw away the booze and head to a meeting. Make it a postive choice in ur life for u and ur family.
People in AA are waiting for u. There at the meetings waiting with caring hearts and sharing their experiences, strengths and hopes with u and showing u that it is possible to stay sober one day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share.
How's ur daughter?
What happened to her with the shoplifting?
What if the bottle of Vodka WASN'T in the refrigerator?
Why were you keeping the Vodka?
Just a few questions to ponder over.
When i was in rehab for 28 days my husband took all the alcohol out of the house. It was suggested to me that if i was to stay sober then i needed to make some MAJOR changes in my life.
Changes like: GETTING RID OF PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS THAT REMIND ME OF ALCOHOL.
I had the DESIRE to not want to drink anymore ONE DAY AT A TIME with the tools provided to me in AA. To go to ANY LENGTHS to stay sober.
If the alcohol is not in my home then i cant drink it. If i really wanted to drink i could run to the store ....OR....GO TO A MEETING. I had a CHOICE there and SO DO YOU.
2 weeks was a good start....its like a couple of steps forward in the right direction and with a drink u stepped back ONE. Pick urself up, dust urself off and make a choice to throw away the booze and head to a meeting. Make it a postive choice in ur life for u and ur family.
People in AA are waiting for u. There at the meetings waiting with caring hearts and sharing their experiences, strengths and hopes with u and showing u that it is possible to stay sober one day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pleasant Hill, California
Posts: 20
Thank you guys for your support. My daughter was caught by security and then released. And now I am suffering , because I was shoplifting along with her for the past month or so. I guess it's a good thing that this happened....because we are not going to do it again...obviously. I feel bad that she was caught and I was not caught. I helped her. I was definitely an accomplice. Shoplifting became and addiction for both of us. And now out of guilt that she was caught I started to drink again. Oh god...please don't put me in the place I was before. I will die. I want to die. I am going to drink and no AA will help me. I know that. I just wish I WAS DEAD.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
((( dollparts )))) You've admitted it and that's the hardest!
It is NOT the end of the world... for some of us (me included) sobriety is a process NOT an event. I hope that the next time you are shaken up by life's little surprises you won't flush your self esteem down the toilet by picking up that drink. It doesn't help, probably didn't even feel good. If it did it's still not worth the depression that will set in when you cross your own boundaries, letting yourself down by NOT doing what you promised yourself you would!
A slip is only a slip. You've still had a couple of weeks relief on your liver! Now you just need to revive your self esteem by beginning day 1 again.
It is NOT the end of the world... for some of us (me included) sobriety is a process NOT an event. I hope that the next time you are shaken up by life's little surprises you won't flush your self esteem down the toilet by picking up that drink. It doesn't help, probably didn't even feel good. If it did it's still not worth the depression that will set in when you cross your own boundaries, letting yourself down by NOT doing what you promised yourself you would!
A slip is only a slip. You've still had a couple of weeks relief on your liver! Now you just need to revive your self esteem by beginning day 1 again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pleasant Hill, California
Posts: 20
Well, I will definitely have to do day 1 again. The funny thing is... I HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT ALCOHOL FOR WEEKS!!!!!!! And then this thing happened today and it put me right back to the bottle. I guess my DAY 1 starts again tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
yes, you slipped. and yes, you will start at day one again. We all do, we all have. But more importantly, will you try to seek help for the reasons the are underneath? Will you try to talk with someone about shoplifting, too? Your daughter will learn from you and draw from your strength. May you gain some to change both your lives for the better. And perhaps once the reasons come out, you will no longer have the desire to either drink or shoplift. Keep looking for the support and you will find what you need.
good luck mertyl
good luck mertyl
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Alcohol gone? Out of the house? Nothing to remind u of Alcohol? You sound positive like u want this. DESIRE???? is it there? Change..is it there? Willingness...is it there? One day at a time....one minute at a time....u know u can do this because u had 2 weeks.....do something different tomorrow...Meeting? Come back and share with us how ur day goes....We will be here before work, during work, at home moms...after work....day off members....share all hours of the day so u wont be alone...we can carry u as u do the footwork..... Okay dokay???? : )
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
My name is Vic and I am an addict! Probably dang lucky to be here. Through the Grace of God (as I understand him), the fellowship of NA/AA, and the Program of recovery, I haven't had to take a drug (alcohol is a drug) since May 25, 2006 and for that I am eternally grateful.
I know that I had to surrender in my heart for this to be working the way that it is working now. I have never felt this way in my entire life I don't think. Anyway so you drank! OK what is done is done, now it is time to pick yourself back up, and do it again. Just for right NOW you don't have to drink. None of us are perfect in anyway, so I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending a lot of good thoughts your way.
Love Vic
I know that I had to surrender in my heart for this to be working the way that it is working now. I have never felt this way in my entire life I don't think. Anyway so you drank! OK what is done is done, now it is time to pick yourself back up, and do it again. Just for right NOW you don't have to drink. None of us are perfect in anyway, so I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending a lot of good thoughts your way.
Love Vic
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
If you haven't done so already, please pour the rest of the alcohol out and remove that temptation.
I'm sorry to hear about the situation with you and your daughter. I hope you will use this as a mechanism to get help for you both.
I'm also sorry to hear that you felt the need to drink over it. I understand totally the desire to numb out but the problem with that is that a drink doesn't solve anything and can complicate things so much more.
Use this as a lesson, get the alcohol out of your house, figure out a gameplan to address the legal problems with the shoplifting as well as some therapy to see what need you are trying to fill by the thrill of shoplifting. Also, I highly suggest AA meetings. They literally saved my life when I THOUGHT I wanted to die but realized I really wanted to live.
Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and know that tomorrow is a new day and can be a sober day. Tonight is not the end of the world although it may very well feel like it right now.
Big hugs,
Kellye
I'm sorry to hear about the situation with you and your daughter. I hope you will use this as a mechanism to get help for you both.
I'm also sorry to hear that you felt the need to drink over it. I understand totally the desire to numb out but the problem with that is that a drink doesn't solve anything and can complicate things so much more.
Use this as a lesson, get the alcohol out of your house, figure out a gameplan to address the legal problems with the shoplifting as well as some therapy to see what need you are trying to fill by the thrill of shoplifting. Also, I highly suggest AA meetings. They literally saved my life when I THOUGHT I wanted to die but realized I really wanted to live.
Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and know that tomorrow is a new day and can be a sober day. Tonight is not the end of the world although it may very well feel like it right now.
Big hugs,
Kellye
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pleasant Hill, California
Posts: 20
Hi guys... well, I'm here again, just barely. I threw up about ten times, had a nap, and I'm still nauseous...a sign that my body is obviously rejecting the alcohol. I'm in therapy and I have brought up the shoplifting to my therapist. She says I do it for the 'thrill' and that I will eventually get caught. She was right. Well, partially right...my daughter was caught. But I am threw with it. It all started when my daughter went to live with my sister and my SSA money was turned over to my sister and I was all of a sudden dead broke. I panicked and that's when the shoplifting started. But I am done with it. I can't chance going to jail. I have already chanced it, and the scare I got today was definitely worth it...enough to scare the crap out of me. I just feel so depressed. I know it's because I drank. I haven't been this depressed in a while (since I was drinking). I just want to get back to my 'no-alcohol' life. I liked it much better. I was never sick. Oh god... I have to throw up again....
.gif)
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 224
"I know that I had to surrender in my heart for this to be working the way that it is working now. I have never felt this way in my entire life I don't think. Anyway so you drank! OK what is done is done, now it is time to pick yourself back up, and do it again. Just for right NOW you don't have to drink. None of us are perfect in anyway, so I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Sending a lot of good thoughts your way."
Love Vic[/QUOTE]
I totally agree..when i slipped, i had to pick myself right back up again..i am blessed that i had another chance, some people don't have another slip in them that they make it out of..So, good for you..Keep coming back..The surrender in your heart is where it all comes from..and now you know what you don't want to feel like and what you will feel like if you drink, you can do this, i know you can..I have heard others say, and i am saying it too, If I can do it, anyone can do it..I think Bill felt the same way..we are all pulling for you and best wishes to you..
Love Vic
[/QUOTE]I totally agree..when i slipped, i had to pick myself right back up again..i am blessed that i had another chance, some people don't have another slip in them that they make it out of..So, good for you..Keep coming back..The surrender in your heart is where it all comes from..and now you know what you don't want to feel like and what you will feel like if you drink, you can do this, i know you can..I have heard others say, and i am saying it too, If I can do it, anyone can do it..I think Bill felt the same way..we are all pulling for you and best wishes to you..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 491
Hey Doll,
You are going to be just fine! I have faith in you! Look, a lot of people have a slip but the inportant thing is to learn from it. You have to remove the temptation, get ALL of the alcohol out of the house. Find something else to give you a thrill. Are there any amusement parks ner you? Go ride a roller coaster and get your adrelen (sp) pumping that way. I herd a saying this weekend and it really stuck and it made me think of all my friends here at SR. The saying is...
You must believe to acheive!
To acheive your goal of sobriety you must believe in yourself that you can do it. So what if it is day 1 again, just do what you did before again and stick to it. You can do this!! Be strong!
GP
You are going to be just fine! I have faith in you! Look, a lot of people have a slip but the inportant thing is to learn from it. You have to remove the temptation, get ALL of the alcohol out of the house. Find something else to give you a thrill. Are there any amusement parks ner you? Go ride a roller coaster and get your adrelen (sp) pumping that way. I herd a saying this weekend and it really stuck and it made me think of all my friends here at SR. The saying is...
You must believe to acheive!
To acheive your goal of sobriety you must believe in yourself that you can do it. So what if it is day 1 again, just do what you did before again and stick to it. You can do this!! Be strong!
GP
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Pleasant Hill, California
Posts: 20
I made it today without drinking. So this is my new Day 1. I wanted alcohol, but I threw it away. I think I will be OK. I saw my therapist today and told her about this support board. I told her how wonderful and supportive the people on here are and she wrote down the site. She is going to be referring her clients to this site! I'm so glad to hear that!
Naps are good.
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
That's great Dollparts!
Things WILL get easier!
Don't beat yourself up about your mistakes. The important thing is that you are still here. You've already gotten a lot of good advice from people here at SR so I'll try to not be repetitive, but I hope you got rid of the rest of that alcohol. Just having it in the house makes the temptation so much worse.
Sorry to hear about the problem with your daughter. But if it causes you both to turn your lives around then it will be a good thing. At least nothing worse happened.... such as driving drunk or injuring someone. That was always my worst fear when I was drinking. I promised myself once I had kids that I would never drive under the influence. I was terrified of getting a DUI and that people would find out that I had a drinking problem. And of course I screwed up and drove drunk. I ran out of alcohol...... so I just HAD to go out for more. Yep that was one of the last straws for me. I mean, when I was in college I stupidly drove drunk on a regular basis and by the grace of God I never injured anyone. But after I had kids, I swore that I would be more responsible than that. It's funny how alcohol can just take over your whole life and make you do things that you thought you would never do. I did a few other things that I'm ashamed of too.... but I'll spare you all the details right now. But suffice it to say that I felt so bad that I wanted to die too. I've almost been sober for 30 days now. It's not easy. In fact it's hard as hell some days. But at least I am not suicidal anymore.
Congrats for coming back, and for seeing a therapist to get the help you need. I have a counselor too. It does help me. AA meetings help me too.
BTW - I saw your post on the bus that Vic is driving! Keep coming back 'k?
Things WILL get easier!
Don't beat yourself up about your mistakes. The important thing is that you are still here. You've already gotten a lot of good advice from people here at SR so I'll try to not be repetitive, but I hope you got rid of the rest of that alcohol. Just having it in the house makes the temptation so much worse.
Sorry to hear about the problem with your daughter. But if it causes you both to turn your lives around then it will be a good thing. At least nothing worse happened.... such as driving drunk or injuring someone. That was always my worst fear when I was drinking. I promised myself once I had kids that I would never drive under the influence. I was terrified of getting a DUI and that people would find out that I had a drinking problem. And of course I screwed up and drove drunk. I ran out of alcohol...... so I just HAD to go out for more. Yep that was one of the last straws for me. I mean, when I was in college I stupidly drove drunk on a regular basis and by the grace of God I never injured anyone. But after I had kids, I swore that I would be more responsible than that. It's funny how alcohol can just take over your whole life and make you do things that you thought you would never do. I did a few other things that I'm ashamed of too.... but I'll spare you all the details right now. But suffice it to say that I felt so bad that I wanted to die too. I've almost been sober for 30 days now. It's not easy. In fact it's hard as hell some days. But at least I am not suicidal anymore.
Congrats for coming back, and for seeing a therapist to get the help you need. I have a counselor too. It does help me. AA meetings help me too.
BTW - I saw your post on the bus that Vic is driving! Keep coming back 'k?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
good luck doll parts. I just wanted to say, Vic, I love your doggy. And what is up with everyone posting their pics all of a sudden? Very good thing. I like to put a face to the words.
have a great day everyone. Dollparts, try to stay strong.
have a great day everyone. Dollparts, try to stay strong.
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