Why do i have still some of my bad habits from drinking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Madison
Posts: 131
Why do i have still some of my bad habits from drinking
I understand that it takes time to change, But what are some helpfull hints to change some of my ways that I have? I try and I try to get rid of some of my bad habits and loosing my temper like i did when I was drinking. I am running out of ideas and need some help.
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Fight ... WIN!!
Posts: 118
Taking drinking out of your life leaves a big hole, and can leave you feeling pointless and under pressure. Try some new activities or hobbies - go out and have an adventure! You have a new life to fill up with wonderful things! 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Greetings Shemp,
It's my experience that not until you surrender your will, to move beyond your own best thinking (ideas), will you be able to receive the help that's available to you. "Helpful hints" sound like tidying up around the house. When perhaps what you seek is a thorough reorganizational cleaning. Have you made serious effort to find help? It's within your reach today...
and I see you posted that you are "in a program and doing meetings." But you're not finding what you need in this? Curious what kind of help you're looking for...
It's my experience that not until you surrender your will, to move beyond your own best thinking (ideas), will you be able to receive the help that's available to you. "Helpful hints" sound like tidying up around the house. When perhaps what you seek is a thorough reorganizational cleaning. Have you made serious effort to find help? It's within your reach today...
and I see you posted that you are "in a program and doing meetings." But you're not finding what you need in this? Curious what kind of help you're looking for...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
When stuff really started to change for me was when I did my 4th and 5th steps... It was right there in black and white where I had been selfish, dishonest and inconsiderate to myself and others. At that point in my life I just wanted to be "recovered" Acting selfish and being inconsiderate or dishonest were all the things I did NOT want to be any longer. So, I began to think think think before I acted and my entire world changed.
I wish you the same!
I wish you the same!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Welcome to SR, Shemp. Do you have a sponsor yet? Are you working the steps? Like Michski, I also began to get some relief after doing my fourth and fifth steps, and then again after doing my eighth and ninth. The most important thing I had to do was give myself some time. I had to forgive myself whenever I did something wrong, fess up if necessary, and do whatever I could to make the wrong right.
I also found the Serenity Prayer very useful. Whenever I felt myself getting upset, angry, going off the deep end, I would recite the prayer and try to apply the words to the situation. Which parts did I have no control over? What could I change about the situation? And then I would try to do it.
My best advice is to talk to your sponsor on a regular basis. If you don't have a sponsor, make that your first priority. It really helps to have someone to go to who has been there before, who really knows what you are going through.
In the meantime, keep posting! I'm glad you found us!
I also found the Serenity Prayer very useful. Whenever I felt myself getting upset, angry, going off the deep end, I would recite the prayer and try to apply the words to the situation. Which parts did I have no control over? What could I change about the situation? And then I would try to do it.
My best advice is to talk to your sponsor on a regular basis. If you don't have a sponsor, make that your first priority. It really helps to have someone to go to who has been there before, who really knows what you are going through.
In the meantime, keep posting! I'm glad you found us!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Leesburg,NJ
Posts: 255
Welll....I started working in my yard. Trimmed the heck out of my shrubs...planted a bunch of Cana's....and been watering the damn things everyday.....TWICE! Mowing the lawn....um....painting....all the "Honey Do" stuff I wanted my huzband to do...I now enjoy it.
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Hi Shemp, welcome to the forum.
Really dive into the program - meetings, sponsor, 12 steps, the whole spectrum.
Attending meetings is like going to classes in college, once you're there a while you'll have to start applying yourself. It turns in 'work'... but the payoff is really worth it (a new you).
As far as losing one's temper and other 'character defects', you'll most likely find that these personal nuances are within you regardless of the substance abuse and they must be addressed.
Good luck and congrats on making the move toward a better life.
Really dive into the program - meetings, sponsor, 12 steps, the whole spectrum.
Attending meetings is like going to classes in college, once you're there a while you'll have to start applying yourself. It turns in 'work'... but the payoff is really worth it (a new you).
As far as losing one's temper and other 'character defects', you'll most likely find that these personal nuances are within you regardless of the substance abuse and they must be addressed.
Good luck and congrats on making the move toward a better life.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
hi shemp and welcome. I love the 3 stooges
it takes time and more importantly "practice" to change. I have to practicing behaving in different ways. when anger comes up what do I do? what is my habit?
and if I don't want that habit then i ask myself what can i do differently? how do i deal with this anger.
one of the hardest things for me to do when I am angry at someone is to simply say to them that "I AM ANGRY AT YOU", from a non-threatening and honest place
it takes time and more importantly "practice" to change. I have to practicing behaving in different ways. when anger comes up what do I do? what is my habit?
and if I don't want that habit then i ask myself what can i do differently? how do i deal with this anger.
one of the hardest things for me to do when I am angry at someone is to simply say to them that "I AM ANGRY AT YOU", from a non-threatening and honest place
Hannitized
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 353
Originally Posted by shemp 
I understand that it takes time to change, But what are some helpfull hints to change some of my ways that I have? I try and I try to get rid of some of my bad habits and loosing my temper like i did when I was drinking. I am running out of ideas and need some help.
I feel (insert emotion), when you (insert behavior) because (insert explanation).
This helps me not only express myself in a non threatening way, but it helps me understand exactly what is bothering me in the first place.
Hope this helps!
Liberty~
Dang. And I had a good response for him......
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