brdlvr

Hi all

Last time I posted was a month or so ago. I was still very upset over the xbf and his drama. I got lots of good tough love advice. I'm just writing to say that I'm ok. I have been spending lots of time with my family and with each day that passes, I feel better. My xbf is still in jail. He's facing time for the burglery of his boss's house. I have not visted him. I do take his calls on occassion. And for now that's ok. He hasn't asked me back as I've told him no way, no how. He knows that his words mean nothing to me anymore, nothing without the actions to back them up. I wish him luck in his court dealings and I pray that he gets treatment instead of hard jail time. He is taking full responsibility for his actions and I find if I can stay in the present and not bring up the past - we can talk as friends. I still sometimes get sad over what could have been with us, and the man he could have been if he had quit drinking, but at least I recognize that for what it is and for the most part, I don't dwell on it. I'm really trying to put my xbf and his problems and our relationship in God's hands. I also see that maybe him being arrested was a blessing in disguise. He is safe, we both believe that had he not been arrested he may not be here today. He would have drank himself to death as he was already pronounced clinically dead when they found him. (point .40 bac) I also think that by him being away from me, has given me the distance I need - and I found that I can survive without him. That I will be ok. So for Today - it is good.

Thanks for letting me share

Brdlvr

Pick-a-name

(((Brdlvr))) So glad to hear from you, and you sound good,too.

Don't be a stranger!

GettingFree

You sound strong and as if you're reached a place of acceptance. That's tremendous growth from where you were a little while back. How is your own recovery going?

denny57

good to hear from you, brdlvr

hope you are taking care of yourself, too

brdlvr

Thanks all. Getting Free: My own recovery from alcoholism is not doing good. I have only myself to blame for that. I gave up, stopped trying. I'm back to AA tonight. So it's day one for me on that front. I hate alcoholism on all levels..

Pick-a-name

Sorry about the lapse, but good for you to get back up and on with things! Stick around here; we've missed you and it could be the extra support that you could use (and who doesn't need all the support they can get ?!)