FormerDoormat

Yesterday Richard finally took the plunge and left his relative's house and rented an apartment of his own. I was hoping that it would be a good thing--a chance for him to take responsibility for his own life and make decisions for himself. Of course, in the back of my mind I worried that he might feel isolated and turn to a familiar old friend for comfort--alcohol.

I know it's not my life to live so I kept my fears to myself and prayed that Richard would remain strong during this stressful transition. Tonight when we spoke on the phone his speech was slurred, his responses delayed, his words came slowly. I fear his demon has reared it's ugly head.

I pray I'm wrong, but I fear I'm not. I so loved having my sober man back in my life these past nine months, but I've grown much stronger and wiser over the past two years and I'm prepared to do whatever it takes to have a peaceful and happy life. And if that means walking away from Richard once again I will do so.

But this time I'll tell him I love him and I know he did the very best he could and I'll always be grateful that we got a second chance and then I'll kiss him tenderly, hug him tightly, hold on to some wonderful memories, and then I'll walk away.

Tonight I'll thank God for the wonderful times we've shared together and then I'll gently place Richard in His hands.

prodigal

Possibly, he's just had a slip. Transitions are tough for anyone. Perhaps this one was the stressor that triggered him to pick up. As they say, hungry, angry, lonely, and tired can cause a relapse. This may be temporary. I hope it is.

FormerDoormat

I hope so, too, Prodigal.

Minx1969

((((FD)))))

one day at a time....

FormerDoormat

Thanks for the reminder, Minx.

Zoey

I am so sorry, I too hope it is a slip, or relapse. ((hugs))

FormerDoormat

Thank you, Clancy. I'll do what Minx suggested and wait and see what tomorrow brings.

cwohio

((FD)) prayes out to you that the demon has not returned.

Morning Glory

My son's relapse and crisis after 7 months of sobriety turned out to be a blessing in disguise. God came through in a miraculous way.

Prayers for both of you.

susane1408

I feel for you sweetheart.
You are in my thoughts FD, Richard too.

Janitw

FD - you are a real woman - a woman who has run the gauntlet. What an excellent example of womanhood you are. You and Richard will be in my prayers today. (((hug)))

Janit

ICU

Let's hope that this is just a temporary slip, relapse, set-back! Although it's heartbreaking and very scary to deal with, it is something that unfortunately happens often.

We tend to not to want to think about that as a possibility, especially when they have been doing so well for so long. But I guess in a way it gives us another chance to review and renew our own recovery tools and boundaries and adjust them if we need to.

I will keep both you and Richard in my prayers.

Jazzman

Good luck to you both FD

Pick-a-name

It has all been said by everyone else before me.
I will hold you and Richard in my prayers.

p.s. My sister's relapse turned out to be a wonderful turning point in her life. If this is what happened to Richard, I hope and pray that it will be the same for him. (also remember PAWS, for what it is worth)

(((FD)))

deax

I'm really sorry to hear that. I remember when you first told me the story about you and your bf, it gave me hope... I hope everything turns out for the best. You have a great attitude....good luck.

CarolD

Prayers zinging out..

splendra

((((FD))))

I agree that letting go is the best thing for you and for him. It could the slip that makes him slide in to home plate though...Try not to worry...

I had a relaps that taught me a lesson...

gelfling

Personally, I prefer to use Equus' word. Lapse. It doesn't feel as hurtful. Have faith in him and in yourself. You're a tough cookie. An amazing lady.

What is your HP's will is not for us to judge. As you said, you've grown and will know how to handle whatever is presented to you.

Blessings and grace, Kathy

deettah

Praying for you and Richard.

robina

God bless you and Richard. May HP watch over both of you.