Hi. New and need advice.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: East WA
Posts: 3
Hi. New and need advice.
Hello. Just found this forum and I am hopeful that someone can give me some advice.
My husband was ordered by the courts after a violent occurance to go through a alcoholism program.
He is a typical functioning alcoholic. He has maintained his job for years, family has no idea that he drinks and drinks every day.
He has been sober for 6 days now. He is convinced that we don't need him and are better off without him. He is shaking, confused, wobbly, can barely hold a thought, can't sleep or eat...
I'm so very scared and worried about him. I'm scared he will hurt himself or just give up start drinking again, which will land him in jail.
How long before these detoxing symptoms stop? How long before he starts caring about his family again? How long will he vent all over me?
I'm just feeling hopeless.
My husband was ordered by the courts after a violent occurance to go through a alcoholism program.
He is a typical functioning alcoholic. He has maintained his job for years, family has no idea that he drinks and drinks every day.
He has been sober for 6 days now. He is convinced that we don't need him and are better off without him. He is shaking, confused, wobbly, can barely hold a thought, can't sleep or eat...
I'm so very scared and worried about him. I'm scared he will hurt himself or just give up start drinking again, which will land him in jail.
How long before these detoxing symptoms stop? How long before he starts caring about his family again? How long will he vent all over me?
I'm just feeling hopeless.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR Mebeka... we are glad you found us.
I dont have alot of information on the detox process so Im really of no help in thow long that will go on... Most people suggest detox only with Medical help as it can be pretty bad.
Please take what he is saying with a grain of salt right now, he is not in his right mind and you should not take it personaly, I know harded done then said.
I might suggest some theraphy/Al-anon for you, you are going to to need help and support NO MATTER what he does... it will help you with all the fears you have going on right now.
Just wanted to let you know your not alone and we are all glad you made it here. I look forward to getting to know you!
I dont have alot of information on the detox process so Im really of no help in thow long that will go on... Most people suggest detox only with Medical help as it can be pretty bad.
Please take what he is saying with a grain of salt right now, he is not in his right mind and you should not take it personaly, I know harded done then said.
I might suggest some theraphy/Al-anon for you, you are going to to need help and support NO MATTER what he does... it will help you with all the fears you have going on right now.
Just wanted to let you know your not alone and we are all glad you made it here. I look forward to getting to know you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: East WA
Posts: 3
thank you for the kind words. I will look into al-anon in my area.
I just wish there was some sort of timeframe, so I knew ok... only one more week and he will be somewhat pleasant again...
It's a dream, I know. But I want it!
I just wish there was some sort of timeframe, so I knew ok... only one more week and he will be somewhat pleasant again...
It's a dream, I know. But I want it!
Holding The Father's Hand
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Oregon
Posts: 96
Hi Mebeka, and welcome to SR.
My AH's detoxes were different each time. They were the same symptoms but lasted different lengths of time. It seems that each one is a bit longer.
I'm sorry I can't be any help in that area.
There are a lot of wise people here at SR and some wonderful support. I look forward to getting to know you.
My AH's detoxes were different each time. They were the same symptoms but lasted different lengths of time. It seems that each one is a bit longer.
I'm sorry I can't be any help in that area.
There are a lot of wise people here at SR and some wonderful support. I look forward to getting to know you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 928
Just because he's not drinking doesn't mean he is going to become a "nice guy" overnight..
If he is serious about his recovery he will go to AA meetings, therapy or whatever it takes to learn new behaviors..
As Cynay said - go to Alanon..you will find a great group of people there that can support you as you go through this.
Remember there are 3 C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
If he is serious about his recovery he will go to AA meetings, therapy or whatever it takes to learn new behaviors..
As Cynay said - go to Alanon..you will find a great group of people there that can support you as you go through this.
Remember there are 3 C's: you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: East WA
Posts: 3
I know he won't be a "nice guy" overnight. I was just hoping for some sort of guideline of the detox process.
He is currently in 2 separate counseling sessions. He is trying very hard. I just feel so helpless, because nothing I say holds merit or worth because I just don't "get" what he is going through.
Thanks for the support.
He is currently in 2 separate counseling sessions. He is trying very hard. I just feel so helpless, because nothing I say holds merit or worth because I just don't "get" what he is going through.
Thanks for the support.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
I do hope he is serious about quitting, I hope the best for you. From what I have read, I do believe in the genetic component of alcoholism, and the nutritional aspect.
We can't do anything about the genetics, but perhaps visting a licensed nutritionist along with seeing MD. And of course the behavioral therapy...counseling, AA, etc .
If it was me, I would fight like I had cancer. But alcoholism is such a mind warping, baffeling condition. I'm sure it differs person to person.
We can't do anything about the genetics, but perhaps visting a licensed nutritionist along with seeing MD. And of course the behavioral therapy...counseling, AA, etc .
If it was me, I would fight like I had cancer. But alcoholism is such a mind warping, baffeling condition. I'm sure it differs person to person.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Welcome mebeka
If you can, think about going to Al-Anon as soon as possible. If that's not for you, therapy with a counselor who understands addiction would also help. I use both. You will find that you will "get" much better an idea of what he may be going through. You may also find it helps you feel better about yourself and your place in this process.
I know it must be frustrating. Keep posting and learn all you can about alcoholism. Take care.
If you can, think about going to Al-Anon as soon as possible. If that's not for you, therapy with a counselor who understands addiction would also help. I use both. You will find that you will "get" much better an idea of what he may be going through. You may also find it helps you feel better about yourself and your place in this process.
I know it must be frustrating. Keep posting and learn all you can about alcoholism. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Regarding detox ...
... I've been through this with my AH FOUR times now. One of the guys who checked into the detox/rehab facility where my AH is currently staying tried to dry himself out and ended up having a seizure on the golf course!
Alcohol and heroin are the two most dangerous substances a person can withdraw from without medical care. Trying to detox oneself is a crap shoot. Do you have insurance so he can at least go to a hospital that has a detox unit? The shakes, hand tremors, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, inability to sleep or eat, sudden radical mood swings, sweating, are the usual group of symptoms that an alcoholic experiences in withdrawal.
It gets worse everytime they go back to drinking and attempt to dry out again. This last time my H was waaayyyyy worse that the previous time he detoxed. He started shaking uncontrollably and sweating profusely. After five days, he was placed in the rehab facility. When I saw him, he still had hand tremors and had problems finding words he needed to form a sentence. That was eight days after he had entered the facility.
A medical doctor knows what sort of diet and medication someone going through detox needs. My H is on three meals a day, no sweets, B vitamins, a zinc supplement, and a sleep aid.
Will he get better when he stops drinking? Not unless he runs to the nearest A.A. meeting, gets a sponsor, and seriously works the steps. It's a program of hope, and has been a lifeline for millions in recovery for over 60 years.
We all wish someone we love who is struggling with this disease would exhibit better behavior once the drinking stops, but they've medicated themselves to avoid their problems and pain, so there are times their behavior may be inappropriate when they're in recovery. It almost as if they have to learn the basics of how to deal with life. I hope your loved one recovers.
Alcohol and heroin are the two most dangerous substances a person can withdraw from without medical care. Trying to detox oneself is a crap shoot. Do you have insurance so he can at least go to a hospital that has a detox unit? The shakes, hand tremors, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, inability to sleep or eat, sudden radical mood swings, sweating, are the usual group of symptoms that an alcoholic experiences in withdrawal.
It gets worse everytime they go back to drinking and attempt to dry out again. This last time my H was waaayyyyy worse that the previous time he detoxed. He started shaking uncontrollably and sweating profusely. After five days, he was placed in the rehab facility. When I saw him, he still had hand tremors and had problems finding words he needed to form a sentence. That was eight days after he had entered the facility.
A medical doctor knows what sort of diet and medication someone going through detox needs. My H is on three meals a day, no sweets, B vitamins, a zinc supplement, and a sleep aid.
Will he get better when he stops drinking? Not unless he runs to the nearest A.A. meeting, gets a sponsor, and seriously works the steps. It's a program of hope, and has been a lifeline for millions in recovery for over 60 years.
We all wish someone we love who is struggling with this disease would exhibit better behavior once the drinking stops, but they've medicated themselves to avoid their problems and pain, so there are times their behavior may be inappropriate when they're in recovery. It almost as if they have to learn the basics of how to deal with life. I hope your loved one recovers.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Welcome,
Some good advice before me....I know the h*ll you are going through.
All I can add is that his brain has be altered by alcohol, it will take a long time to heal, maybe years...if, and only if, he never drinks again. One of the hardest things for a recovering alcoholic or drug addict to do is be comfortable in their own skin, to see the world as it really is.
My very best,
Dolly
Some good advice before me....I know the h*ll you are going through.
All I can add is that his brain has be altered by alcohol, it will take a long time to heal, maybe years...if, and only if, he never drinks again. One of the hardest things for a recovering alcoholic or drug addict to do is be comfortable in their own skin, to see the world as it really is.
My very best,
Dolly
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
See if this helps you understand...
from my files on PAWS...
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
Blessings to you and your husband..
from my files on PAWS...
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm
Blessings to you and your husband..
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