This time it is my fault
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
This time it is my fault
I believed what he said and I'm pissed off b/c I'm disappointed.
You know, it really sucks when G sounds so sincere and so meaningful that I actually beleive he means what he says.
He only says what I want to hear.
You know, it really sucks when G sounds so sincere and so meaningful that I actually beleive he means what he says.
He only says what I want to hear.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
I believed what he said and I'm pissed off b/c I'm disappointed.
Sorry Jessica that you got your hopes up and was disappointed. Seems we all know better than to do that, but we sometimes still find that we carry that hope.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
we've all been there jess - they sound so convincing at the time and maybe they really mean it at the very moment. like minnie says - actions - we gotta see them walk, not listen to them talk.
Followtheyellowbrickroad
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Staples, MN
Posts: 104
Accepting responsability is good but don't punish yourself too much. We all understand the wanting to believe them. Ofcourse you do, you love him but like someone else quoted once in a thread here---- How do you know when and alcoholic is lying? When he moves his mouth.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Jessica
Don't beat yourself up. When I said what you have to my therapist she said - oh weren't you the awful wife, trusting your husband. I'm supposed to be able to trust my spouse. When his actions showed me he could not be trusted, then I decided what to do. When fail to make the right decisions for me, then I disappoint myself.
It sounds like you're now hearing G's actions a little louder. Don't forget - hope is not a plan.
Don't beat yourself up. When I said what you have to my therapist she said - oh weren't you the awful wife, trusting your husband. I'm supposed to be able to trust my spouse. When his actions showed me he could not be trusted, then I decided what to do. When fail to make the right decisions for me, then I disappoint myself.
It sounds like you're now hearing G's actions a little louder. Don't forget - hope is not a plan.
Way out there
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Deer Park, Texas
Posts: 115
I too have been there and am actually going through it right now, like so many others. It takes time (i'm not there yet) to know that they are only going to tell you want they think you want to hear. I hope it gets easier for you. I will be thinking of you...
Mel
Mel
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
"The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results."
Ngaire
Ngaire
Originally Posted by JessicaNAJ
I believed what he said and I'm pissed off b/c I'm disappointed.
You know, it really sucks when G sounds so sincere and so meaningful that I actually beleive he means what he says.
He only says what I want to hear.
You know, it really sucks when G sounds so sincere and so meaningful that I actually beleive he means what he says.
He only says what I want to hear.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Addicts lie to protect their addiction. It is really not personal. I agree to use this as a final lesson and learn from it. You can listen to the words, but always watch the actions. Just let go, sit back and let what will come come to pass naturally. That is when you get a quiet and real look into a person's true character.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
You know, one of the first and very best lessons I learned from SR was "listen to the actions, not the words." Now I am finding that lesson doesn't just apply to alcoholics and addicts. It applies equally to all of us.
We SAY we will not put up with their crap anymore. We SAY we will not let them come back until they have truly changed. We SAY we will do the best thing for our children. We SAY all kinds of things, but actions are what counts.
What actions will you take next, Jessica?
L
We SAY we will not put up with their crap anymore. We SAY we will not let them come back until they have truly changed. We SAY we will do the best thing for our children. We SAY all kinds of things, but actions are what counts.
What actions will you take next, Jessica?
L
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by ASpouse
For me I like "You can't argue with a sick mind" ......
So true.....another reason why I need to "let go and let God"!!! Sometimes, the sick mind I am trying to argue with, is my OWN!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
