need info and advise,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: granada hills, ca.
Posts: 7
need info and advise,
Hi, Im new here and wanted to post a question regarding a new guy im seeing who say's he smokes pot once in a while...what does that mean to most pep's? he said he doe's it usually on weekends. Plus beeing in a job that is physically hard he comes home to have a beer or two each evening and says its his way to unwind. Im concerned with this type of behavior and wanted to know if i should be concerned at all? Ive been in alanon for over 8 yrs and i do know that its not my problem but i also know in the past ive been w/ a real addict and refuze to be w/ another one. I had expressed my feelings w/ him and he said he is not an addict by any means. How can i really find out if this is true. Ive only known him three weeks now and i do like him.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Welcome red716
After 3 weeks I don't think I'd be able to make that decision. Since you've been in Al-Anon for quite a while and have a previous relationship with an addict, you probably know some things to watch for. IMHO it's just too early to tell. Right now, the only thing to ask, I think, is do you want to be involved with someone who uses any substance at all?
After 3 weeks I don't think I'd be able to make that decision. Since you've been in Al-Anon for quite a while and have a previous relationship with an addict, you probably know some things to watch for. IMHO it's just too early to tell. Right now, the only thing to ask, I think, is do you want to be involved with someone who uses any substance at all?
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
I agree w/denny on this one. Three weeks is not enough time to get to really know a person, let alone know how you really feel. After all, a new broom always sweeps clean. It takes time to get to really know someone. I would be wary of the pot smoking. How old is this guy? I thought pot smoking was a right-of-passage that ended when we graduated!
Anyway, bottom line would be for me that pot IS illegal. What he is doing is illegal. I don't think I'd want to get involved with someone who does something that is obviously illegal. Just my opinion ...
Anyway, bottom line would be for me that pot IS illegal. What he is doing is illegal. I don't think I'd want to get involved with someone who does something that is obviously illegal. Just my opinion ...
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
red716, Welcome to SR, this is the greatest sight. Since you have been thru it befor it is hard to suggest anything you don't know. Have you been to your meetings resently??
Try reading everyhing on here, maybe you will catch a tidbit.
If they use everyday. I would not risk it. At this stge hard to tell, but I wouldn't try it. Keep us posted.
Try reading everyhing on here, maybe you will catch a tidbit.
If they use everyday. I would not risk it. At this stge hard to tell, but I wouldn't try it. Keep us posted.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: granada hills, ca.
Posts: 7
thanks guys! i thought you'd say that haha...well, this man is in his early 40's. Well, i do not want to be with an addict again but like all of you said, its too early to tell at this point. its just since i already dont trust people its hard for me to beleave him right now...only time will tell i guess.
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