Anonme2

I have been drinking everynight for about 2 years now... I am ashamed to say that I started drinking during the day and before going to class recently when I went back for my masters degree and began feeling a lot of stress. I now am working for the summer and I need to stop drinking, but I can't handle the withdraw symptoms like shaking (in front of co-workers), lack of concentration, sleepless nights, etc. because of this intense job.

Is there a method to cut down and minimize or elimnate withdraw? I understand that this will require great willpower, but I hit my low when I showed up to work buzzed after I came home from lunch and drank. I think my co-worker noticed and I am nervous I am going to be fired and completely shamed.

Thank you.

kali ma

Hi. Katie here. I keep attempting to give people advice, but I have only been not drinking for 4 days, but I relate to what you are going through 110%. I graduated 2 years ago, (drank through college) and started drinking nightly after I graduated. I got a very high-paying job with the federal gov't and went to work THE NEXT MORNING still buzzed and reeking of alcohol. I would shake uncontrollably, and be mortified about it. I have been trying to "cut down" now for a year, and the only thing it does is give you excuses upon excuses why it is okay to drink "just this time." Every time, I ended up drinking every night after a few days. After talking to MANY people, they all told me that that wouldn't work. I also realized that when I go to get my masters in the fall, I will not be able to drink like I did. I finally believed them, and still do. So I started this journey a few days ago, and I plan on staying sober. Best of luck to you. Feel free to leave me a message.

Katie

Live

My Dr would prescribe a taper med. There is also antabuse and others, more knowledge, experience, strength and hope will be along soon. SR is a wealth of wonderful folks.
live

Anna

I firmly believe that cutting down on alcohol doesn't work. I tried it for a long time and I'd cut back, then drink more and do the same thing over and over and over. Besides when I was cutting back, I was still obsessing about alcohol - when, where, how, etc. So, stopping was far easier and peaceful of mind for me.

Kellye C

I went through what you describe, trying to work while shaking like a leaf, running home at lunch to belt down a quick drink to keep the shakes at bay for a while. I too thought that I could just "taper" it off gradually so I wouldn't have to go through the horrible withdrawals and still be able to work. I also lived in fear of losing my job. My life had become a living hell of having to always have at least a little in my system to keep from shaking and puking. It had gotten past the point of wanting to drink to needing to drink. I was terrified and couldn't see my way out of it. I went on like this for a year. Each day I had intentions of just tapering off and trying to wean myself off. Problem is, with that first drink would go my resolve and then it would be "tomorrow". Tomorrow never came and I kept getting worse and worse until it started affecting me physically. I was constantly swollen and hardly could pee even though I was constantly drinking. Basically, my kidneys were giving up and my liver always hurt. This was after drinking for just 3 1/2 years. It took me going to AA and getting to the point where I had to grit my teeth and bare it to get through the withdrawals. I just kept telling myself that if I could just get through it this time, I didn't ever have to go through it again if I didn't choose to. It wasn't fun, it wasn't easy, and it is something I hope to God to never have to repeat again. But is was so worth it.

I think your doc can prescribe Xanax (low dose) to help with the shaking if they will do so and it does help a bit but you have to be careful about getting dependent on that. I don't hold out much hope of tapering if you are anything like I was. But you can break free if you choose to.

Hang in there, keep posting, keep asking questions and we'll lead you through it.

Hugs,
Kellye

Live

ooooooo I am scared of xanax it is one of the most addicting drugs. My Dr says he uses either valium or librium, closely controlled! to detox from alcohol.
One big difference is the 1/2 life of those drugs.
Sometimes alcohol detox does need to be medically managed. Not always. Just sometimes, all depends. But you cannot detox from alcohol using alcohol. Just as I cannot detox from xanax using/weaning with xanax. That is insanity.

Kellye C

Live, I agree that Xanax is addicting which is why I said be careful. Also, why I suggested a doctor. They know much more than I do and if you're honest with them and tell them what you're trying to do I'm sure they are way better qualified to help out. Bottom line, as you said, I couldn't detox from alcohol with alcohol. Just didn't work! Also, it is always best to seek medical help before attempting to detox as it can be dangerous!

Hugs,
Kellye

earlybird

Go to a doctor. When I had your exact same issue, I looked up addiction in the yellow pages. The doctor I chose specialized in substance abuse medicine. He prescribed me ativan. Its an anti-anxiety medicine. It almost fully eliminates the shakes and nervous feeling. But you have to stop drinking. It does nothing for you (except hurt you) if you drink on it. The key here is being able to quit and stay quit. Any drug the doctor can give you will only get you thru the detox portion of it. If you go back to drinking in any amount, you will go through all this BS again. Try AA. It works. But please dont be one of those people who thinks they are "above" help. Like,...only losers go to AA or SmartRecovery. That is a deadly attitude. Also,...antabuse is designed to make you violently ill if you drink. Thats all. Its not for withdrawals. You take it and if you dont drink,....it does nothing. As if you havent taken anything. But if you DO drink on it,....hoooooly crap. ViIIIiIOOooOOoLLLlLLEEeeEeEEeeeEENNNnnNNnNTtly ill.

aloneagainor

So much self-inflicted shame and nervousness and regrets and anxiety, these drugs/ alcohol are POWERFULLY harmfully influential forces in our lives that we're willing to go through all that so we can "feel good". Stepping back and LOOKING at it we can see it from the other side, how destructive it is, yet until we're willing and able to consider it that way, we somehow manage to convince ourselves that we want to keep using. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results...that's Insanity!

It's not willpower you need, rather, it's willingness. Recognize, it's our own self-will that keeps us stuck. Our own addict-thinking got us into this place and will levy all its might to keep us here. To see beyond your own best thinking, be open-minded to hear the alternatives, great place to start is where others have been and found success. Using drugs to get off drugs is risky business. Become informed, know your options. Once you SEE what you're doing and how you can do better, the choice becomes clear...

Anonme2

Thanks for all the posts. I am really overwhelmed by all the responses. Another problem is I have a horrible stomach; always have since I was a child. I have had all my liver and kidney work done along with chest x-rays and everything is luckily OK. However I am nauseas/vomiting all the time and only feel better when I drink - even if it is just a shot. I can't eat most of the time because the smell of food makes me ill (is this from alcohol too?) The doctor thinks I have severe acid reflux - I admitted my drinking habit but the doctors I spoke with thought there was something more behind my problems than just the alcohol and the next step is shoving a camera down my throat - and I hate doctors.

The stomach problems came on suddenly. I don't have any headaches or "normal" hangover symptoms - I don't really feel foggy, just very forgetful. My story sounds a lot like Kellye D's (thank you so much for the post). I am now swollen (especially my face) and I don't pee much even though I have really increased my water intake. All this has happened within 2 months after starting to sneak drinks in the morning/afternoon.

I really don't want to use drugs, although I don’t think addiction is an issue. I smoked in high school and tried almost every drug out there and never got addicted. I honestly know I started drinking because I was bored. Now it is a stress reliever and I am physically dependant.

How can I get through this while still functioning at a 60 hour/week job? The only thing I can think of doing at this point is continue drinking as little as possible until I have a 2 week break before work and returning and school in August and then seek professional help and possibly going to a clinic for in-house detox. I am certainly not above help- but AA won't work - I am a militant atheist and the spiritual side of the program would really turn me off. Please don’t hate me for these beliefs – I was forced to go to Catholic school as a child and I am still bitter.

Well if you made it through my ramblings – I really appreciate it. Sorry it was so long. I just don’t have anyone else to talk to about this. My boyfriend thinks I am crazy and doesn’t think I have a problem because I am still functioning – I make good grades and make a lot of money. I don’t drink until passing out and I don’t do crazy things – I guess I still seem like a normal person because I just “keep the buzz” and don’t go overboard. I read even 4 ounces of liquor a day can cause withdraw problems. I am feeling a little bit better today (although I did drink a small amount to get me to this point) and taking vitamins is helping with my shakes.

Thanks Again.

lulu70

Hello A. Welcome to SR. Glad you found us.

Sounds like you are really in a tough spot. I know it is difficult to think about using drugs to help you quit drinking. If you were sick and were prescribed something to get better, would you feel the same way?

I would have to caution you about waiting to quit. It sounds like your body is shutting down already. It could still get much worse. I know that's scary, but sometimes fear is the only thing that can really make us quit.

BTW--my name is Laura and I am an alcoholic. I have been clean and sober over two years. Not so long in the grand scheme of things, but an absolute miracle for an alkie like me. You can do it too!

Hang in there!

Kellye C

Hi there. I'm glad my post was helpful to you. I also would caution about the waiting approach since you are going through the things that I did with the kidneys. I couldn't eat and after a really bad binge I would go 4 or 5 days with no food because I couldn't bare the idea and it wouldn't stay down anyway. When I finally gave up and realized that I was NEVER going to get control of this on my own, that is when I knew that unless I did something drastic I was doomed and it scared the crap out of me! I knew I had to have outside help and that is when I went to AA. I understand that you don't think AA is for you but there are other alternatives, SMART Recovery, Rational Recovery, cognitive based thinking. There are many on here who do not got to AA but have gotten sober and stayed that way. It is vital to educate yourself on this disease and the treatment options that you have. Get to know the enemy, so to speak.

Please hang in here with us and educate yourself. The stickies at the top of this forum as well as the Alcoholism forum are valuable reading and provide tons of information.

Hugs!
Kellye

earlybird

Wow,....you really dont sound ready to quit at all. You are placing "conditions" on recovery. "No AA,....must work 60 hours a week,....etc"

Your "boyfriend"....doesnt know the first thing about alcoholism. Did you know that the "Functioning Alcoholic" isnt a 'type' of alcoholic? Its a phase that all alcoholics go through. Its a phase of the Middle-to-Late stage of alcoholism. You last a long long time, thinking you may have a problem, but, *whew*...how lucky you are that you are atleast a "functioning" alcoholic. This is where a TON of the denial is manifested. The very fact that you are functional plants doubt that you even have a problem early on in this 'functioning' stage. Then,...it progresses into the next stage of alcoholism. The End Stage. Thats where it all falls apart. I mean fast!! Mere months from this point the alcoholic most likely will have been fired, hospitalized, or severely hurt someone. Sometimes even suicide is common. This is where it seems like one thing after another is collapsing in their lives. It doesnt take long at all. There is no such thing as a Functioning Alcoholic. Its just a phase OF Alcoholism. My sponsor is an Atheist. Yup,...you heard me right......My Alcoholics Anonymous Sponsor is a hard core Atheist. AA is NOT about religion. Its about believing that you have a reason to live. Its about commradrey. Its about supporting others that are suffering the same ways you are. Far too many people use religion as their "out" for not going to AA. Its funny how most of these people who use this excuse have never been to one. They just assume what it is "probably" like.

aloneagainor

Dammit, those who TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO HEAR! They play along with our games and help keep us sick! Addicts are MASTER MANIPULATORS. It's a HUGE part of our addict-show to put up the "I'm OK" front, so to keep everyone at bay. Being a productive functional member of society, a model employee, hard-working, making lots of money...who'd suspect a thing, and what's more, who is anyone to tell us that we have a problem, when they're not able to put on the show we are straight God-loving (or fearing) upstanding members of the community though they may be! Just because we're really good at hiding and manipulating and play societial games doesn't dismiss us from becoming seriously sick addicts. Based on the words you provide, dear Anonme2, YOU ARE SICK. And you need help. Doctors CAN help, but you must be honest with them so they know what ails you. AA CAN help, but you'll have to get past your hang-up regarding religion to be able to hear the message (I was raised strict fundamenntalist Christian and rejected it in full too, dealt with the bitterness, it only brings harm to YOU to hold onto that, you know). People CAN help, if you open your mind to allow them in. You sound scared and trapped inside your own head. I hope you can get past your fears and reach out for the help you're clearly so desperately seeking, but have not yet accessed.

Timmm

http://www.pdrhealth.com/drug_info/r.../cam1691.shtml look this up and ask your dr if its right for you along with ativan for the shakes .If you drink while taking this you will get sick right away .But only you can make the choice to quit.You have to be ready whole heartedly or you wont stop ,I know thats blunt but its true,We are all rooting for you and being here at SR theres alot of us here that have been there but are now living well and alcohol free.

Remember alone we are powerless but together we are unstoppable !! But you need to be ready to commit to it ! If you are then lets chat and get u sober for life !!

Love your bro in recovery
Tim!

gypsyrose

I have often refered to myself as a "card carrying, born again athiest." I no longer feel a need to convert others to my way of thinking but I'm still not comfortable with christian lingo... These facts do not keep me from all al-anon meetings. Go ahead and give a few a try, some are better than others. My AH is not religion adverse but he attends LifeRing meetings which have a cognitive-behaioral approach and no religious talk. You might want to give them a try if they have any meetings in your area. I wish they had them for family members.