ChildlikeFaith

I spoke with my AH last night and told him that I had no intention of divorcing him, but his lies were just too much for me to take. He still insists that he didn't lie to his boss about me, and I wasn't going to get into an argument with him.

He asked me if this was good bye forever or just for now. My answer? I said that I have no idea what the future holds, but right now, in this place and time, having contact with him was unhealthy for me. He said that he would stay away, but he's hoping that six months down the road, he can show me how serious he's been about his recovery, and we can get back together again.

Sadly, he keeps assuming there is someone else. That kind of thinking is very destructive, since I've given him no reason for these assumptions. He keeps saying, "remember, you're still married to me" and asking "is there anyone else in the picture that I should know about?"

Anyway, that's where we are right now. I'm upset, but I feel good about my decision. I think tonight while my kids are camping with my dad, I'll pack up his things and put them in the garage. The locks on the house are changed, but he still has a key to the garage so he can easily come get his things while I'm not home, and I don't have to deal with his puppy dog eyes or attempts at manipulation. I wish there was an Al-Anon meeting tonight. I could really use one about now.

elizabeth1979

Melissa,

You are great! You are right, it is destructive thinking that allows him to think there is someone else. Ive been there too with my ex.

Sounds like you have detachment down. As painful as it can be, you and I know, its the best way for a nonalcoholic to be healthy!

Thanks for the update, I needed the reminder of how detachment works best

denny57

Melissa

I know what you mean about the meeting. Congratulations on your courage in sticking to your boundaries and doing what you feel is right for you. I hope everything works out for the best, whatever that may be.