aztchr

Do you think it's hypocritical to have a drink if you don't have a problem with alcohol, but you left an A?

(This has probably already been discussed before, but it's a new concern for me.)

minnie

No, not for me.

I left my ex because of his behaviour and his attitudes and a ton of other things that had nothing to do with drink.

Why did you leave?

teke

minnie, i have heard that there are social drinkers but i wouldn't know, i have an addictive personality and i can't drink even though i never had a problem drinking that was not my doc. i was told that i could not determine whether or not a person could drink or not only the person doing the drinking can say that, but what do i know, i don't even know where i heard that. better let someone take a shot at this one.

best

If you know you can stop at one or two, I see no issue with it.
If you find yourself going for four or ....till the night is over, I would take warning. Denial and progression set in ever so suttle a way.

I would look at it in this light... If every brother and sister in my family had a drinking problem and I was questioning if I should drink or not drink... I would look at them as an example of what could be for me and see that the wise thing to do would be not start at all.

Drink away but be ever so watchful for what could be.

aztchr

I left because of how my ex would act after drinking until he passed out almost every night.

I guess I'm more concerned with how others will perceive me if I have a drink knowing that I left someone who had a problem with alcohol. It almost feels hypocritical because I objected to it from someone else, but it's ok for me??

minnie

Do you drink until you pass out almost every night? If so, then you have a bigger issue than hypocrisy. If not, then your drinking behaviour is not the same as his drinking behaviour, is it?

Besides, one valuable lesson I learned on these boards is that what other people think of me is none of my business. As long as I am true to myself and honourable in my motives, people can think what they like.

best

ditto

aztchr

Guess I just needed to hear the lesson again. Thanks!
I just always want to do the right thing and lately I'm questioning everything I do or don't do.

reader

I understand what u are thinking, I have struggled with this too! Case in point, I had a drink with a friend the other night, when I got home I ate pasta with garlicy clam sauce, 1- I was hungry 2-I didn't want to smell like alcohol.
Why do I get concerned? I did not want to feel like a hypocrite. How silly and paranoid on my part!!! The old adage came to mind- do as I say not as I do! I am usally a coffee junkie~but hell I am an adult if I want to have a cocktail I should be able to have one without guilt. Guilt is a codies best friend! At least a non recovered one. I just try to be respectful since hubby is on the wagon again!

mallowcup

What I think of me is my business. My body does't need alcohol. I don't have a problem with alcohol, never have. Everyone I've ever had alcohol issues with I met while socializing in a bar.

robina

Alcohol is not my addiction - my problem is food.

Even so, I always feel extremely guilty when I have a social drink with friends. (I drink maybe 4-5 times a year). I think is is because I have experienced the devastation caused by the alcoholism of family members, so I have negative feelings about alcohol in general.

I do have one firm rule about alcohol - I never purchase it and bring it into my home.

ASpouse

No, not at all if you don't have a problem with having a drink or two or whatever.

Pick-a-name

Drinking has caused so much heartache and problems in my life, I do not see it as "fun". Actually, I have noticed when I do have even a slight bit to drink ( and I am talking 1/2 glass or less) that the next day or two I am very depressed and sluggish.....just not worth it,especially for the price of a drink. I am not fanatical about it,just prefer to pass.

It also has a tendency to put me in the company of people who DO have a love of alcohol. JMO As the "alcoholic-magnet" I sometimes feel (or are they really everywhere like it seems to me now that I have been here and learned a little bit?), why would I want to put myself into that position? (ie go out for drinks) Just me, maybe I am just gun-shy; all the people who "watch it".......do just that;and keep drinking even as it progresses because they don't see it and it is their false security. (My sister lost her job over it, my husband his family; all the while "keeping an eye on it"..right...) Turns out it runs in my family.....I do not want to tempt it.........I could see me getting hooked and not interested in that; probably another reason why I don't. Alcohol is not what I would call my DOC but I have felt that lure with some Rx and deffinately with cigatrettes.

megamysterioso

Nope not at all. I'm a social drinker and do not have problems with my alcohol consumption. It does not rule my life in any way shape or form and has no negative impact on me or others around me. I'm not an alcoholic and I refuse to ever put a guilt trip on myself for somebody else's inability to drink responsibly. Who cares what other people think??? You're the one that lived with him and through your own hell and you know the truth of the matter. You don't need to prove anything to anyone.

Pick-a-name

Same with me.

pmaslan

As long as you don't have a problem with it then do what you want.
As has been said already.....well let me break it down....
Who the hell cares what other people think.....
You have to live with yourself...they don't.....

elizabeth1979

I had an issue with feeling responsible for his drinking, because I drank.

Just a new spin on my guilt.

Something I learned when I quit drinking..notjust around him, but quit for a month at a time, IT DIDNT MATTER.

It had nothing to do with how much he drank, or when, or how.

Missy

I dont drink because of my AH. He would accuse me of doing what he is doing and why is it ok with me and not him.... and that is his mentallity.
So I leave it alone.. When I am with girlfriends, etc and AH isnt there,,, yes I do enjoy my cocktail but I know my limit.
xo

Minx1969

I know I don't have a drinking problem..I can have a glass of wine or a drink and I can stop...

So I drink occassionally...

Like Minnie said - who cares what other people think...