Daughter in Rehab
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Daughter in Rehab
Please keep my AH and I in your thoughts & prayers tomorrow (6/13), we just received a call from our daughter's rehab that tomorrow is family day and she has added my AH & I to her family list of people allowed to visit her.
This alone is a miracle. We had to stop contact as it was affecting our recovery (my h in AA & I in Al-Anon) and she was very, very angry about this boundary.
My boss is allowing me a day of vacation tomorrow and we will drive about an hour to the recovery center. A little nervous about it. About 3 yrs ago, when my h went into treatment, (I was not in recovery) I had practically no contact with him - maybe 2 visits to the center, 1 horrible visit with his counselor, I had not gotten past the anger stage. So anyway, I am not sure if I should bring anything for her. I would like to possibly bring her a roll of quarters for the coke & snack machine, or a pre-paid phone card to call to check on her children, but don't know if that is allowed or am I getting back into that "mothering" role - she is my step-daughter, but she has been in my life for the past 14 plus years. And I just want to do what is HEALTHY for her recovery and to maintain mine
Any ES & H,
Rita
This alone is a miracle. We had to stop contact as it was affecting our recovery (my h in AA & I in Al-Anon) and she was very, very angry about this boundary.
My boss is allowing me a day of vacation tomorrow and we will drive about an hour to the recovery center. A little nervous about it. About 3 yrs ago, when my h went into treatment, (I was not in recovery) I had practically no contact with him - maybe 2 visits to the center, 1 horrible visit with his counselor, I had not gotten past the anger stage. So anyway, I am not sure if I should bring anything for her. I would like to possibly bring her a roll of quarters for the coke & snack machine, or a pre-paid phone card to call to check on her children, but don't know if that is allowed or am I getting back into that "mothering" role - she is my step-daughter, but she has been in my life for the past 14 plus years. And I just want to do what is HEALTHY for her recovery and to maintain mine
Any ES & H,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Congrads on being able to see your daughter.... How wonderful is that
What is wrong with the "mothering role"? I think taking her something thoughtful that she can use is a wonderful Idea... That is not enabling, that is letting her know you love her. Sometimes its hard to draw the line and stick to it... but you know what. You have recovery of your own, you have the tools to use tommrow and you just have to put those tools into effect.
Congrads on all 3 of your recovery!
What is wrong with the "mothering role"? I think taking her something thoughtful that she can use is a wonderful Idea... That is not enabling, that is letting her know you love her. Sometimes its hard to draw the line and stick to it... but you know what. You have recovery of your own, you have the tools to use tommrow and you just have to put those tools into effect.
Congrads on all 3 of your recovery!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
I am so pleased for you all...............hope this is the beginning of a great healing for your daughter and family!
My sister really appreciated the pre-paid phone card while in rehab. and the other sound kind,too. Could you get them (and bring thime with you) and find out once you get there if you can/should give them to her? Phone would be especially nice if she has children. Probably what I would do, but others here have a better handle on things!
Good luck to you all.
My sister really appreciated the pre-paid phone card while in rehab. and the other sound kind,too. Could you get them (and bring thime with you) and find out once you get there if you can/should give them to her? Phone would be especially nice if she has children. Probably what I would do, but others here have a better handle on things!
Good luck to you all.
How Important Is It?
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cyberia
Posts: 612
Hi -
The first time my daughter was in detox, I made sure she had gifts, access to snack foods, etc... I don't do that anymore.... On the other hand, it might make both you and her feel better if some gifts can be offered...
God Bless and I hope your visit is happy and healing
The first time my daughter was in detox, I made sure she had gifts, access to snack foods, etc... I don't do that anymore.... On the other hand, it might make both you and her feel better if some gifts can be offered...
God Bless and I hope your visit is happy and healing
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