I need some serious help
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
I need some serious help
My son has been very suicidal and I've been trying to work on my denial and the belief that I can keep him alive. I was working hard on it today. He was over and wasn't drinking. We had a pretty good day. I got upset because he took a couple of dollars out of my purse without asking me and took all my change out of my car and out of my house. He got mad and left and I decided I wasn't going to do what I usually do and call him to make him feel better so he doesn't feel suicidal. I was practicing letting go and not making myself responsible for his life and death.
I get a call from him and he tells me that he took 60 of his high blood pressure pills. I called the police and rushed over there and he was on foot hiding somewhere and wouldn't tell me where he was. They did no even take it seriously and didn't even try hard to find him. Then he finally lets me know where he is and this stupid cop follows me. I had to pull over and tell her to stop following me because he will hide if he sees her.
I finally get him in my car and the police call and ask if I found him. I told them I did and he said he would jump out of the car and hide if I took him to them or they came to get him. I had to tell the cops that I was taking him home and would watch them. I couldn't tell them to come get him when I got there because he was listening and would run. So I was in a hostage type situation trying to save his life. The cops did not follow up on me. So I have him at his house and he refused to let me take him to the hospital and was bent on dying. He wants to die. I had to wait until he started falling asleep to call for help. They came in and had to take him down to get him in the police car. He was also drunk and I didn't know it. They 5150'd him and took him away. He was crying really hard saying he just wanted to die.
So I did not make it very far in my attempt to feel I wasn't in charge of his life and death from suicide. One remark about money and it through him into suicide. I've been paying for his health insurance so he can get treatment in an emergency like this. It's available, but I can't make him do it. Most hospitals throw them back out in a couple of days. That leaves me holding the bag again. I don't think he is going to make it.
What am I going to do when he gets out? I
I get a call from him and he tells me that he took 60 of his high blood pressure pills. I called the police and rushed over there and he was on foot hiding somewhere and wouldn't tell me where he was. They did no even take it seriously and didn't even try hard to find him. Then he finally lets me know where he is and this stupid cop follows me. I had to pull over and tell her to stop following me because he will hide if he sees her.
I finally get him in my car and the police call and ask if I found him. I told them I did and he said he would jump out of the car and hide if I took him to them or they came to get him. I had to tell the cops that I was taking him home and would watch them. I couldn't tell them to come get him when I got there because he was listening and would run. So I was in a hostage type situation trying to save his life. The cops did not follow up on me. So I have him at his house and he refused to let me take him to the hospital and was bent on dying. He wants to die. I had to wait until he started falling asleep to call for help. They came in and had to take him down to get him in the police car. He was also drunk and I didn't know it. They 5150'd him and took him away. He was crying really hard saying he just wanted to die.
So I did not make it very far in my attempt to feel I wasn't in charge of his life and death from suicide. One remark about money and it through him into suicide. I've been paying for his health insurance so he can get treatment in an emergency like this. It's available, but I can't make him do it. Most hospitals throw them back out in a couple of days. That leaves me holding the bag again. I don't think he is going to make it.
What am I going to do when he gets out? I
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ballwin, MO
Posts: 127
wow...
(((morning glory)))
i m gonna have to think on this...
does your area have "treatment" or an alcohol/drug place that he can be sent to?
i know when Kathy took her pills in attempt, she was in icu, then put in psych ward for awhile and then went into d/a treatment
(((morning glory)))
i m gonna have to think on this...
does your area have "treatment" or an alcohol/drug place that he can be sent to?
i know when Kathy took her pills in attempt, she was in icu, then put in psych ward for awhile and then went into d/a treatment
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
I'm so very sorry MG. What a horrifying experience for you and your son. My heart goes out to you. I can't even imagine the fear and pain you must be feeling. I've never experienced the threat of one of my children taking their own life. I will pray for you and your son. I pray he will find peace here on this earth.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
hi morning
i am so sorry that yo are going through this, i am praying for you and you and your son, it just does not seem fair that you have this kind of worry.
has he ever actually attempted sucide? has he ever been in treatment? is there a way for you to have him court ordered to recieve some kind of help? i really hate to see you suffer this way.
i am sorry but i don't know the story, how old is your son? i can't imagine the pain that you are experiencing, its one thing to have an ah that you can leave to someone else, but when it comes to our kids, this is a different story
i am so sorry that yo are going through this, i am praying for you and you and your son, it just does not seem fair that you have this kind of worry.
has he ever actually attempted sucide? has he ever been in treatment? is there a way for you to have him court ordered to recieve some kind of help? i really hate to see you suffer this way.
i am sorry but i don't know the story, how old is your son? i can't imagine the pain that you are experiencing, its one thing to have an ah that you can leave to someone else, but when it comes to our kids, this is a different story
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 318
Morning Glory,
What a horrible thing to have to go through.
About 5 years ago I had my first suicide attempt. At the ER, I was sent to the inpatient psych hospital under a 72 hour hold. At the end of that time, they (doctors, staff, my mom) felt I was still a danager to myself and they petioned the courts for court ordered treatment. I ended up being court ordered to 1 year of treatment (I was in the hospital 6 weeks, out for 1 week, back in for 8 weeks). For a long time I upset about this, but looking back I realize I needed to really get stabilized on medication before I could begin to get any better.
Is there anything like a court ordered treatment (for longer than 72 hours) where you live? if there is documentation of his history and your reports of what he has said and did? are you able to talk to any of the docs there?
I am sorry I don't have any great advice or help. I will keep you and your son both in my prayers.
What a horrible thing to have to go through.
About 5 years ago I had my first suicide attempt. At the ER, I was sent to the inpatient psych hospital under a 72 hour hold. At the end of that time, they (doctors, staff, my mom) felt I was still a danager to myself and they petioned the courts for court ordered treatment. I ended up being court ordered to 1 year of treatment (I was in the hospital 6 weeks, out for 1 week, back in for 8 weeks). For a long time I upset about this, but looking back I realize I needed to really get stabilized on medication before I could begin to get any better.
Is there anything like a court ordered treatment (for longer than 72 hours) where you live? if there is documentation of his history and your reports of what he has said and did? are you able to talk to any of the docs there?
I am sorry I don't have any great advice or help. I will keep you and your son both in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ballwin, MO
Posts: 127
in fact Kathy was put on 72 hour hold after her attempt and then stayed in psych ward for awhile while they determined next course of action
hope this helps
my prayers are with you and son and family
hope this helps
my prayers are with you and son and family
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
(((MG)))
I'm so sorry....for what you are dealing with and for what he is going through. I've found my son when he's tried to kill himself....I understand what you're going through.
Perhaps a letter from a lawyer will keep him in a protected environment until they can get him stabilized? Hospitals tend to listen to things like lawyers. And he HAS insurance. That's wonderful. Because you're right; without it, they throw people out asap. There have been times they haven't even kept Trevor for the required 24 hours...
My thoughts and prayers, MG, are with you and your son...
Shalom!
I'm so sorry....for what you are dealing with and for what he is going through. I've found my son when he's tried to kill himself....I understand what you're going through.
Perhaps a letter from a lawyer will keep him in a protected environment until they can get him stabilized? Hospitals tend to listen to things like lawyers. And he HAS insurance. That's wonderful. Because you're right; without it, they throw people out asap. There have been times they haven't even kept Trevor for the required 24 hours...
My thoughts and prayers, MG, are with you and your son...
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
MG - Taking suicide threats seriously isn't wrong, if my memory serves me right (and I'm sure it is with this) Royal Psyc College here advises taking them seriously. It doesn't make you a controlling person.
I can't begin to know what you're going through, I just now it must be so frightening and heart breaking.
Is there a suicide helpline you can call for advice? They may be able to put you in touch with services or highlight legislation that can help you. I got lots of help here in the UK from mental health helplines and charities.
Have you got access to counselling or support that is targetted to help you with this?
I wish I could be more help - if it was here in the UK maybe I could (big maybe as I failed to get D any treatemtnt!).
I don't know what else to say - I'll be thinking of you and your son.
I can't begin to know what you're going through, I just now it must be so frightening and heart breaking.
Is there a suicide helpline you can call for advice? They may be able to put you in touch with services or highlight legislation that can help you. I got lots of help here in the UK from mental health helplines and charities.
Have you got access to counselling or support that is targetted to help you with this?
I wish I could be more help - if it was here in the UK maybe I could (big maybe as I failed to get D any treatemtnt!).
I don't know what else to say - I'll be thinking of you and your son.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 318
i tried doing some research online and according to what I found, a person can be held longer than 72 hours if they are still considered a harm to themselves. (you are in california right? that is what is says under your name) is this the first time your son has acctually overdosed?
i hope you are able to speak to his docs and they can make sure he gets the help he needs.
http://www.dmh.ca.gov/default.asp
http://www.dmh.ca.gov/Admin/regulations/default.asp - on this page look to the left and the 4th link is for involuntary treatment in CA
i hope you are able to speak to his docs and they can make sure he gets the help he needs.
http://www.dmh.ca.gov/default.asp
http://www.dmh.ca.gov/Admin/regulations/default.asp - on this page look to the left and the 4th link is for involuntary treatment in CA
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
He went for a counseling appointment last week. It was his first one. They put him on Welbutrin and I'm thinking that maybe that is what might be causing it be this severe. I found his couselors card in his wallet and I'm going to call her tomorrow and see what she can do. I'm also going to call the hospital and suggest that maybe he should stop taking that medication. He is already on Paxil. I called to see if he wanted me to come to the hospital and he is very angry with me and won't let me come so they are not going to give me any information.
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 14
MG I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you and your son are going through this. My brother has had a spate of suicide attempts so from a very distant view I can sympathise with your pain. I just hope that you can use the system to hold him, even if it's against his will, for a time that will allow him to sober up and calm down.
You are a very strong person to have done what you have done. It's so hard and scary to deal with a large violent person in that sort of state. You've done the right thing in helping him, in my opinion. I applaud your efforts to get him help also. I think he's a very lucky boy.
Anyway, I just had to respond and tell you that my thoughts are with you. Remember that you to have to look after you first and I hope that you are getting some support - it's hard going.
You are a very strong person to have done what you have done. It's so hard and scary to deal with a large violent person in that sort of state. You've done the right thing in helping him, in my opinion. I applaud your efforts to get him help also. I think he's a very lucky boy.
Anyway, I just had to respond and tell you that my thoughts are with you. Remember that you to have to look after you first and I hope that you are getting some support - it's hard going.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
(((((MG)))))
I am so sorry you are going thru this. I know it ain't easy. It's not about controling him it's about saving his life. I believe suicide threats are a cry for help. Do lean on God and us to get you thru this.
It does sound like you may have a bit of a legal battle on your hands. I know you will do what needs to be done. I am sure the fact that he has insurance will make it easier to get him good care.
We all need to keep walking towards the light and have faith that the nighmare will end. Prayers going out for (((you)))) and your (((son))).
I am so sorry you are going thru this. I know it ain't easy. It's not about controling him it's about saving his life. I believe suicide threats are a cry for help. Do lean on God and us to get you thru this.
It does sound like you may have a bit of a legal battle on your hands. I know you will do what needs to be done. I am sure the fact that he has insurance will make it easier to get him good care.
We all need to keep walking towards the light and have faith that the nighmare will end. Prayers going out for (((you)))) and your (((son))).
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
(((MG)))
I know this has been a long road for you, and also that this kind of problem often falls through the gaps in the system, but my prayers go out for you and your son, that someone listens and holds him until he can get proper treatment and medication for his depression.
Hugs and Love
I know this has been a long road for you, and also that this kind of problem often falls through the gaps in the system, but my prayers go out for you and your son, that someone listens and holds him until he can get proper treatment and medication for his depression.
Hugs and Love
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
I'm sorry to hear this MorningGlory I dunno if taking him off the medication is a good idea right now, I'd say: leave that to the dr's to figure out. As harsh as it sounds, there'll be a point in time you'll get enough of looking after him constantly and pull your hands off of him...if that makes sense.
I dunno if taking him off the medication is a good idea right now, I'd say: leave that to the dr's to figure out. As harsh as it sounds, there'll be a point in time you'll get enough of looking after him constantly and pull your hands off of him...if that makes sense.
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