Slow and steady...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
Slow and steady...
Long story short...selling house, moving from exbf, staying at my parents' now....
Today I went back to my house and finished packing just about everything to move in the rental truck next Saturday. Ex was at work so I got a lot done in peace. Too bad I didn't finish before he got home. I didn't know what time that would be anyway. He came home, I was still there, but I continued to go about my business. He asked when I would be done and I said I didn't know. Of course any answer would have been the wrong one. He told me to hurry up because I was on "his time." At this point, he was looking to argue. I guess I was in the way in the kitchen too long and he couldn't come and go as he pleased to make his drinks. Oh well. It's still my house, too until we close. He kept pacing around the house really getting antsy and finally went to the garage. I kept my own pace and took a few breaths. He can't control my actions any better than I can control his. (Slow and steady wins the race. haha)
When I finished packing everything, I was criticized for where I stacked all of the boxes. I said he was welcome to move them if he wanted. He was sarcastic and said yeah, I'll move them and they might disappear. At this point, I'm laughing inside because he will not extend any extra effort and energy on anything that has to do with me. I didn't block any doorways, so if he trips and falls over the boxes, not my problem. I asked a question about something related to the house and he cut me off and said he didn't want to talk to me anymore, just hurry up and be done. Oh, I'm done alright as soon as I sign those final papers.
I really felt at my strongest today! The hardest part was really the first step and believing that I don't have to accept any behavior I don't want to. I can put all of the energy I spent trying back on me and finding out who I am. I'm definitely growing and have a whole new outlook on each day farther away from the past. It was a little difficult coming back to an empty house because my parents and sister are on vacation, but I know that I can keep posting here, for all of you night owls to keep me company.
Today I went back to my house and finished packing just about everything to move in the rental truck next Saturday. Ex was at work so I got a lot done in peace. Too bad I didn't finish before he got home. I didn't know what time that would be anyway. He came home, I was still there, but I continued to go about my business. He asked when I would be done and I said I didn't know. Of course any answer would have been the wrong one. He told me to hurry up because I was on "his time." At this point, he was looking to argue. I guess I was in the way in the kitchen too long and he couldn't come and go as he pleased to make his drinks. Oh well. It's still my house, too until we close. He kept pacing around the house really getting antsy and finally went to the garage. I kept my own pace and took a few breaths. He can't control my actions any better than I can control his. (Slow and steady wins the race. haha)
When I finished packing everything, I was criticized for where I stacked all of the boxes. I said he was welcome to move them if he wanted. He was sarcastic and said yeah, I'll move them and they might disappear. At this point, I'm laughing inside because he will not extend any extra effort and energy on anything that has to do with me. I didn't block any doorways, so if he trips and falls over the boxes, not my problem. I asked a question about something related to the house and he cut me off and said he didn't want to talk to me anymore, just hurry up and be done. Oh, I'm done alright as soon as I sign those final papers.
I really felt at my strongest today! The hardest part was really the first step and believing that I don't have to accept any behavior I don't want to. I can put all of the energy I spent trying back on me and finding out who I am. I'm definitely growing and have a whole new outlook on each day farther away from the past. It was a little difficult coming back to an empty house because my parents and sister are on vacation, but I know that I can keep posting here, for all of you night owls to keep me company.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
It was difficult keeping my comments to myself, that's for sure!
I think being away from him and the house for awhile really made me what I don't want to ever deal with again. To top it off, I couldn't take the smell of him for any longer than I had to. I finally understood what others have talked about. I must have been immune when I lived there. Sweaty construction worker on top of the alcohol from his pores. ewwww
I think being away from him and the house for awhile really made me what I don't want to ever deal with again. To top it off, I couldn't take the smell of him for any longer than I had to. I finally understood what others have talked about. I must have been immune when I lived there. Sweaty construction worker on top of the alcohol from his pores. ewwww
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Hang in there aztcher
I would guess he might have been agitated because his routine was broken. At the end, my AH would get very upset if he couldn't have that first martini right at 4. We would literally race home from wherever we were in order to be in the house for it. If for some reason we were too far from the house and would "have to" stop at a bar, he would complain they didn't make it right. Oy, the insanity of it!
Hope the move goes smoothly.
I would guess he might have been agitated because his routine was broken. At the end, my AH would get very upset if he couldn't have that first martini right at 4. We would literally race home from wherever we were in order to be in the house for it. If for some reason we were too far from the house and would "have to" stop at a bar, he would complain they didn't make it right. Oy, the insanity of it!
Hope the move goes smoothly.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
The hardest part was really the first step and believing that I don't have to accept any behavior I don't want to. I can put all of the energy I spent trying back on me and finding out who I am.
Followtheyellowbrickroad
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Staples, MN
Posts: 104
Great job Aztchr! Isn't it liberating and empowering when we finally realize that we have a choice, especially when we choose ourselves over insanity? And osmetimes a little dose of our A's is all it takes to bring us back down to earth. Keep it up, your doing awesome!
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