thegoldenscript

Hi, I have been a heroin addict on and off for 10 years. And I do mean ON and OFF. I have been clean for over 2 years (maybe 3 or 4) at a time, but when I fall, I fall hard. I had last been clean since about thanksgiving (i went into detox for the first time) and was clean until about mid april. then an old 'friend' came into town. we used for like 5 days, he left and i succussfully quit. well kind of, i used here and there, but then put it behind me. then he came back into town and i used for about a week. this is day one being clean and it isnt easy but its been worse. i told him we need to stay away from each other and i realize that. i guess the best thing is to go out and be active in my life. i have alot to deal with right now, i got my friend pregnant, i need a job, and a new place to live (my new roommate 'occasionally' smokes crack and shoots heroin.. argggg!)
anyways I came accross this site and it seems great, im going to add it to my favorites list and try to stay in contact with this good base of support.

day ones always a bitch but i know itll get better....

-a

Live

Hi, welcome....SR is a great place full of wonderful people whose support, experience, strength and hope is phenomenal.
And...someone wiser than me will be along shortly.

Anna

Welcome and I'm glad you found us!

Often in recovery we have to make really hard choices about people we spend with, where we live and even our jobs.

I wish you well.

Luckyv2

I have relapsed over and over, but this last time has been much harder than ever to stay clean. My name is Vic and I am an addict. I am glad that you have found us and I am also glad that you are here. What you posted about old people, places, and things is a reminder for me to keep away from them, for they are not in or on the same journey that I am going on. Not to blame them for me picking up, but to remind me that we are not on the same page. Yep day 1, 2, 3, 100, 600, any of those days can be a bitch, but we have to remember that this too will pass and also that we don't have to use over anything on them days.

Glad you're here hope to see more of you. I know that without going to meetings NA/AA that I wouldn't even have a chance at being not only clean but a little serene.

Love Vic

Wolfman

The notion to use will undoubtedly be with you in some capacity for the rest of your life. Building a support system of sober/clean people and availing yourself of thier phone numbers for the times you feel real close to using will be a strong deterrent for you. You need an escape plan when your thoughts become saturated with picking up your drug(s) of choice. Alone you are vulnerable to the 'old friend' and your own thinking.

You are right on point IMO with saying that keeping busy will help you as well. Getting active and participating in life rather than being a spectator will do wonders for your self esteem and your wellbeing. Seek out sober people and make new connections with people who ARE on the same page as you.

No better place to find these folks than at AA/NA meetings.

Peace to you and stay strong.

-Wolfman

leviathon

WELCOME.

Good point, you really do need to stay away from this friend. You also likely need a new roommate... Good luck and remember "this too shall pass!".

Levi

BSPGirl

Welcome to SR, thegoldenscript!

thegoldenscript

thanks for all the great advice and support. i woke up today (day 2) after an excrusiating nights "sleep" (if you call it that) with a strong desire to use. i started to justify it, "well, i can use just ONE more time" starting looking at the vein in my hand i hit last.. luckily i made a commitment to go to the electronics store with a kid from class im doing a project with (who is clean)... this commitment is in about 15 mins and we are going to walk about 2 miles there and 2 miles back. the exercise should do wonders. as has the mounds of support from you people at this site. thanks again. it helps to hear those words of encouragement. who knows, maybe i willl go to a local NA meeting...

later...