Take it on the run Baby...
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
Take it on the run Baby...
If thats the way you want it baby... then I dont want you around. I dont believe it, not for a minute, but youre under the gun and you take it on the run. lalalalala
I sing alot, too much, always have a song in my heart. Thats an old REM song Im sure many of us remember bellowing out of our old camera windows in the early 80 lol. Anyway, he was in the back of the house and I SWEAR TO GOD I wasnt singing it about the situation, hadnt even thought of it but he came out screaming that Im rubbing an affair in that he isnt having so now he is going to have one. Ewww Shaking... whatever will I do then. -rolls her eyes-
Awfully defensive huh? I was just making my damn coffee and singing. Shoot me for having a song in my heart. But, safe to say he blew his cover, huh.
With cheaters, you dont have to watch them, spy, none of that s*it... all you have to do is wait and it will all be placed in your lap. EVERYTIME. So, dont waste your time.
Anyway, my old man has been acting weird for a couple of months. Weird as in he is probably f*cking around. I suppose he needed a chick that uses to be able to manipulate her.
Because since I got clean about 200 days ago (no idea how many days I have, doesnt matter anymore anyway) he has wanted NOTHING to do with me.
The idiot better wake up and realize I HAVE NEEDS: sex, hugs, smiles, thats only the scum at them top of all the love I need right now. And I aint no ugly thang, know dat.
All it would take is a sweet guy at a store and I would ABSOLUTELY accept a date. My man is getting all of this needs met by someone else. Im left with no other choice myself.
So I burn in hell... probably going there anyway.
Oh and forgot to mention:
I have a dry erase board where all family members sign out: where they are going/when they'll be back. This system works with 4 teen boys. Anyway, sometimes (when he is feeling guilty basically) he will sign out himself, which he did Saturday morning.
He was gone when I woke and his dry erase message was... now read between the lines...
Hun, I went fishing BY MYSELF (why would he add that? Cuz he dont know how to be a player) and will come home when you call me too. I never called and spent the day with the boys. He came back with a nice tan and a new bottle of tanning oil.
Noone in my family uses tanning oil he must have forgotten to give to his gf, only sunscreen. Hes slipppin', bless his heart.
Like I said... dont waste your time looking, worrying, no energy wasted whatsoever. Just keep your mouth shut and your eyes open and all of it falls in your lap.
I dont really know why Im posting this... maybe just to get it out. I use SR as a journal alot and I do hope thats ok.
I sing alot, too much, always have a song in my heart. Thats an old REM song Im sure many of us remember bellowing out of our old camera windows in the early 80 lol. Anyway, he was in the back of the house and I SWEAR TO GOD I wasnt singing it about the situation, hadnt even thought of it but he came out screaming that Im rubbing an affair in that he isnt having so now he is going to have one. Ewww Shaking... whatever will I do then. -rolls her eyes-
Awfully defensive huh? I was just making my damn coffee and singing. Shoot me for having a song in my heart. But, safe to say he blew his cover, huh.
With cheaters, you dont have to watch them, spy, none of that s*it... all you have to do is wait and it will all be placed in your lap. EVERYTIME. So, dont waste your time.
Anyway, my old man has been acting weird for a couple of months. Weird as in he is probably f*cking around. I suppose he needed a chick that uses to be able to manipulate her.
Because since I got clean about 200 days ago (no idea how many days I have, doesnt matter anymore anyway) he has wanted NOTHING to do with me.
The idiot better wake up and realize I HAVE NEEDS: sex, hugs, smiles, thats only the scum at them top of all the love I need right now. And I aint no ugly thang, know dat.
All it would take is a sweet guy at a store and I would ABSOLUTELY accept a date. My man is getting all of this needs met by someone else. Im left with no other choice myself.
So I burn in hell... probably going there anyway.
Oh and forgot to mention:
I have a dry erase board where all family members sign out: where they are going/when they'll be back. This system works with 4 teen boys. Anyway, sometimes (when he is feeling guilty basically) he will sign out himself, which he did Saturday morning.
He was gone when I woke and his dry erase message was... now read between the lines...
Hun, I went fishing BY MYSELF (why would he add that? Cuz he dont know how to be a player) and will come home when you call me too. I never called and spent the day with the boys. He came back with a nice tan and a new bottle of tanning oil.
Noone in my family uses tanning oil he must have forgotten to give to his gf, only sunscreen. Hes slipppin', bless his heart.
Like I said... dont waste your time looking, worrying, no energy wasted whatsoever. Just keep your mouth shut and your eyes open and all of it falls in your lap.
I dont really know why Im posting this... maybe just to get it out. I use SR as a journal alot and I do hope thats ok.
Still learning; ever grateful
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 842
Beachbabe, I don't have much to say but that I hope things work out for you, and to concentrate on the good things in your life, and the people that truly love you. Trust your woman's intuition! And you simply MUST smile whenever you look at your wonderful 'baby'! I know we do when you post him!
Hang tough,
DG
p.s. Was that REM or REO Speedwagon? LOVE that song!! (Lighter in the air...)
Hang tough,
DG
p.s. Was that REM or REO Speedwagon? LOVE that song!! (Lighter in the air...)
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
Hi BB, I empathize with you and my thoughts go out to you (sorry don't believe in a "God" so no prayers, rather just warm thoughts of good).
I admire your calmness under pressure and you are right, when wrongdoers have done wrong, as a criminal lawyer, I see it come through in their actions. There are a real minor few (about 1%) that are sociopathic who have absolutely no remorse and no feelings. The rest, it comes through slowly but surely. Part of the reason only 5-10% go to trial and the rest plead out. Of the 5-10% that go to trial, 1/2 actually have a valid defence in that the cops screwed up or violated their constitutional rights. The remainder are convicted and on goes the merrygoround.
Be kind to yourself and be gentle with your emotions. That said, kick his sorry butt out if have had enough, as you rightly noted, you are not ugly or damaged and there is someone out there for you that will treat you proper.
Best wishes,
Levi
I admire your calmness under pressure and you are right, when wrongdoers have done wrong, as a criminal lawyer, I see it come through in their actions. There are a real minor few (about 1%) that are sociopathic who have absolutely no remorse and no feelings. The rest, it comes through slowly but surely. Part of the reason only 5-10% go to trial and the rest plead out. Of the 5-10% that go to trial, 1/2 actually have a valid defence in that the cops screwed up or violated their constitutional rights. The remainder are convicted and on goes the merrygoround.
Be kind to yourself and be gentle with your emotions. That said, kick his sorry butt out if have had enough, as you rightly noted, you are not ugly or damaged and there is someone out there for you that will treat you proper.
Best wishes,
Levi
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
lol I had just woken up. Yes, it is REO speedwagon. REM is a newer band though isnt it? Like in the 90's? Or have I gone nuts?
Thank you all for hearing me. I say I have 4 boys because in my heart they are mine. They are here everyday. I wash them and put them to bed at night. They run to me when something scares them... truth is, only the oldest (one I posted) is mine.
To let go of my husband, is to let go of my precious children. I didnt mean to fall in love, just f*cked up and fell face first in it... mainly with the babies, the thoughts of the white picket fence. In reality none of it belongs to me and it never will.
But to think of never holding my Jared is more than I can bare. He's been mine since he was 4 months old, he turned 6 on the 25th. Im his mama-kaela.
Gotts close, got worked up and hyperventalating. I couldnt afford my Zoloft this month and havent had it in 5 days. Think that might be messing with me a little.
Thank you all for hearing me. I say I have 4 boys because in my heart they are mine. They are here everyday. I wash them and put them to bed at night. They run to me when something scares them... truth is, only the oldest (one I posted) is mine.
To let go of my husband, is to let go of my precious children. I didnt mean to fall in love, just f*cked up and fell face first in it... mainly with the babies, the thoughts of the white picket fence. In reality none of it belongs to me and it never will.
But to think of never holding my Jared is more than I can bare. He's been mine since he was 4 months old, he turned 6 on the 25th. Im his mama-kaela.
Gotts close, got worked up and hyperventalating. I couldnt afford my Zoloft this month and havent had it in 5 days. Think that might be messing with me a little.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Newfie-Land, Mo
Posts: 1,623
I have a link here that may be able to help you get your script filled, alot of my patients used it when they were unable to pay and I know this drug is not one you should just stop taking. Can really screw you up.
If you need any other links I have several. You could also ask your doctor for some samples. I hope you have a better week and at least you have your boys to love on. www.freemedicinefoundation this is link I was talking about.
Oh and REM is an 80's band too...I love REM and saw my first show in mexico at some festival It was 1985 I think...I just remember I had BIG hair and a big belt around my long shirt over my stir-up pants and of course wearing granny boots....Oh I hope my kids never see those pictures. makes me laugh just thinking about those 80's clothes and that I wore them!!!!! Be safe and keep posting.
If you need any other links I have several. You could also ask your doctor for some samples. I hope you have a better week and at least you have your boys to love on. www.freemedicinefoundation this is link I was talking about.
Oh and REM is an 80's band too...I love REM and saw my first show in mexico at some festival It was 1985 I think...I just remember I had BIG hair and a big belt around my long shirt over my stir-up pants and of course wearing granny boots....Oh I hope my kids never see those pictures. makes me laugh just thinking about those 80's clothes and that I wore them!!!!! Be safe and keep posting.
Still learning; ever grateful
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 842
Ohhhh, BB!! Yes, if you're out of Zoloft, that is DEF. messing w/ you!! Any chance you could call your dr. and get some samples to tie you over? Or is there a medical clinic in your neighborhood that has a sliding scale, and sometimes is for free? Each state usually has a few, so it's worth checking out. You need your medz, hon - especially now!!
Big hugs to you (and baby...). Your kids are lucky to have you!! (pfth to your hubbie!)
-DG
Big hugs to you (and baby...). Your kids are lucky to have you!! (pfth to your hubbie!)
-DG
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
I dont know about those programs but will start looking.
Feeling not like myself and if I turn my head or eyes really fast, I get a weird sensation in my head. It was doing me sooooo much good.
It goes generic next month, thank god.
80.00 is alot to me. :/
Feeling not like myself and if I turn my head or eyes really fast, I get a weird sensation in my head. It was doing me sooooo much good.
It goes generic next month, thank god.
80.00 is alot to me. :/
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
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Im not going to sweat my man too much. I do need to get back on my meds though so I can handle what ever sh*t is slung at me without ending up in prison over some b*tch that didnt even want me.
Until then, Im going to try to get my meds and avoid any negative contact with him whatsoever. If Zoloft taught me anything is was: takes two to argue and if you refuse you automatically win via forfit. Nothing controls me now. I am in control of myself. He cant upset me like a puppet on a string any longer because I cut the ties. Zoloft changed my life. Really need to get it back into my system as soon as possible.
Until then, Im going to try to get my meds and avoid any negative contact with him whatsoever. If Zoloft taught me anything is was: takes two to argue and if you refuse you automatically win via forfit. Nothing controls me now. I am in control of myself. He cant upset me like a puppet on a string any longer because I cut the ties. Zoloft changed my life. Really need to get it back into my system as soon as possible.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Naw, I took that one propoxy a few days ago and havent taken anymore sense then. It made me sick... imagine that. A pain pill making me high and sick. lol Havent experienced that in 10 yrs lol... Im sorry, that wasnt cool or funny. But true. Use to eat 20 a day so I find some humor in that.
I did decide to flush them though because it did make me high, not like my DOC (hydrocodone) but VERY simular, just without the energy... more mellow.
Anyway, I took that one and unfortunately somewhere through all of this I lost the 'like of feeling high'. Remember waiting and thinking... be glad when 3-4 hours pass so I dont feel like this.
Wow. I dont like being high. WTF is that all about?
Downside however, Im now addicted to a heating pad but atleast the withdraw isnt as bad. Plus, worse come to worse I can always score those at Wal-mart! On the other side of the counter for a change hehe.
I did decide to flush them though because it did make me high, not like my DOC (hydrocodone) but VERY simular, just without the energy... more mellow.
Anyway, I took that one and unfortunately somewhere through all of this I lost the 'like of feeling high'. Remember waiting and thinking... be glad when 3-4 hours pass so I dont feel like this.
Wow. I dont like being high. WTF is that all about?
Downside however, Im now addicted to a heating pad but atleast the withdraw isnt as bad. Plus, worse come to worse I can always score those at Wal-mart! On the other side of the counter for a change hehe.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
He finally came in and said 'If your going to lay around pretending to need that **** "my zoloft" then I'll get it sometime this week.
Oh lucky me! I get to wait another week to take my meds so by then, effect will be gone and all over back at square one.
My god, how did I ever get suckered into believing someone would take care of me rather than advantage. I f*cking know better.
I have this scary sensation when I move fast... like a tingly dizzy in my head. Is this normal? Something I shoud worry about? Woke up to that sensation this morning.
Feels scary, like I would imagine a seizure might feel coming on. Its like a tingliy buuuuzzz then mild dizziness.
Is that from not having my zoloft of another problem? Because right now, Im obsessing over this sensation and it sometimes gets the best of me... scares me.
When I used... no sensation scared me. Probably because I was too high to feel fear. Im not now and its very real.
I have gone from LOVING pills to being so afraid of them.
Need my zoloft. Ya'll had to have seen the change. I went from ego-maniac to a sweet girl that put her gloves away... realizing I rarely needed them anyway. I want me back. Was doing so very well. Even starting to be able to help others here.
I feel like I take so much from SR and contribute so very little.
Oh lucky me! I get to wait another week to take my meds so by then, effect will be gone and all over back at square one.
My god, how did I ever get suckered into believing someone would take care of me rather than advantage. I f*cking know better.
I have this scary sensation when I move fast... like a tingly dizzy in my head. Is this normal? Something I shoud worry about? Woke up to that sensation this morning.
Feels scary, like I would imagine a seizure might feel coming on. Its like a tingliy buuuuzzz then mild dizziness.
Is that from not having my zoloft of another problem? Because right now, Im obsessing over this sensation and it sometimes gets the best of me... scares me.
When I used... no sensation scared me. Probably because I was too high to feel fear. Im not now and its very real.
I have gone from LOVING pills to being so afraid of them.
Need my zoloft. Ya'll had to have seen the change. I went from ego-maniac to a sweet girl that put her gloves away... realizing I rarely needed them anyway. I want me back. Was doing so very well. Even starting to be able to help others here.
I feel like I take so much from SR and contribute so very little.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: On a Boat in the Gulf
Posts: 308
So its common and dont be scared? Just keep it slow and easy?
Actually now that you say that... the tingling I also experince during a massive panic attack. Maybe I had one in my sleep lastnight and Im hung over from it.
My attacks are so furious I have to sleep hours afterwards. Like I ran a marathon.
Also, I have been hyperventalating today.
Actually now that you say that... the tingling I also experince during a massive panic attack. Maybe I had one in my sleep lastnight and Im hung over from it.
My attacks are so furious I have to sleep hours afterwards. Like I ran a marathon.
Also, I have been hyperventalating today.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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I agree with Muse. It's never a good idea to quit antidepressants suddenly.
There is lots of info available about stopping Zoloft suddenly. "Zoloft can cause severe withdrawal symptoms. Do not take more than the prescribed amount of medication or take it for longer than is directed by your doctor. Withdrawal effects may occur if Zoloft is stopped suddenly after several weeks of continuous use."
If I were you, I'd call my dr.
There is lots of info available about stopping Zoloft suddenly. "Zoloft can cause severe withdrawal symptoms. Do not take more than the prescribed amount of medication or take it for longer than is directed by your doctor. Withdrawal effects may occur if Zoloft is stopped suddenly after several weeks of continuous use."
If I were you, I'd call my dr.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Newfie-Land, Mo
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I found this link www.join-the-fun.com/zoloft-withdrawal.html it has some useful info for you. Have you talked to your dr about some samples until you can get your script filled?
It really is important to get back on the zoloft asap. You have been through enough...family in town...in recovery...h is not sounding like he has been really supportive...take care of yourself right now and I am glad to hear you flushed the Darvocet. You did the right thing.
It really is important to get back on the zoloft asap. You have been through enough...family in town...in recovery...h is not sounding like he has been really supportive...take care of yourself right now and I am glad to hear you flushed the Darvocet. You did the right thing.
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