Feelings
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
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Feelings
I wish that talking about how I felt was easier for me. I just have so much stuff floating around in my head but I'm not used to talking about stuff. 
I am used to keeping everything in but now I know that isn't good for me. I wonder if opening up will ever become less of a challenge and start to become more natural with practice? It is something that I know I have to work at.
I am used to keeping everything in but now I know that isn't good for me. I wonder if opening up will ever become less of a challenge and start to become more natural with practice? It is something that I know I have to work at.
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
It does become more natural with practice, you just have to start ... this forum is great because you are anonymous and can write your thoughts and share them with a truly warm and amazing group of people that are supportive and insightful. Give it a try.
Levi
Levi
I choose to live
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Antwerp (Belgium)
Posts: 390
Originally Posted by Hope4life
I wish that talking about how I felt was easier for me. I just have so much stuff floating around in my head but I'm not used to talking about stuff. I am used to keeping everything in but now I know that isn't good for me. I wonder if opening up will ever become less of a challenge and start to become more natural with practice? It is something that I know I have to work at.
I am used to keeping everything in but now I know that isn't good for me. I wonder if opening up will ever become less of a challenge and start to become more natural with practice? It is something that I know I have to work at.
lolBut hey...You can write bout it...That's a start
Stefanie
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hi Hope,
There a lots of people who have problems expressing their feelings. That's one reason that they drank or used, to not have to face them, to keep them bottled up or to stuff them. I am one of those people. I always had to be seen as "in control" with my stuff together. I couldn't stand the thought of being seen as weak or not in control of myself. I had no problems expressing happy feelings but feelings of sadness or God forbid, anger, I couldn't deal with. I would stuff and stuff until there was no more room and then they'd come pouring out usually on some poor unsuspecting person who had no clue why I was so angry at them.
Writing is a tremendous help. It helps you to look at the feelings and thoughts, sort them out. Sharing on here is great and a definite step in the right direction. Finding close-mouthed friends that you can trust is also very helpful. Today I can come on here and say what's going on or talk to a friend. Occassionally I will share about it in a meeting if it's something that is REALLY bothering me and sometimes I cry when I'm sharing. I still hate that but it beats the alternative so I just grab the box of tissue and plod on. By going to face to face meetings I get to see others letting their stuff out too which gives me the courage to do the same.
It will get better over time, with practice.
Hugs,
Kellye
There a lots of people who have problems expressing their feelings. That's one reason that they drank or used, to not have to face them, to keep them bottled up or to stuff them. I am one of those people. I always had to be seen as "in control" with my stuff together. I couldn't stand the thought of being seen as weak or not in control of myself. I had no problems expressing happy feelings but feelings of sadness or God forbid, anger, I couldn't deal with. I would stuff and stuff until there was no more room and then they'd come pouring out usually on some poor unsuspecting person who had no clue why I was so angry at them.
Writing is a tremendous help. It helps you to look at the feelings and thoughts, sort them out. Sharing on here is great and a definite step in the right direction. Finding close-mouthed friends that you can trust is also very helpful. Today I can come on here and say what's going on or talk to a friend. Occassionally I will share about it in a meeting if it's something that is REALLY bothering me and sometimes I cry when I'm sharing. I still hate that but it beats the alternative so I just grab the box of tissue and plod on. By going to face to face meetings I get to see others letting their stuff out too which gives me the courage to do the same.
It will get better over time, with practice.
Hugs,
Kellye
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
I am one of those, too, Cheryl. Even after more than two years it is still difficult. Many times I don't even realize I am having feelings I need to share about--I am that good at covering them up--even to myself. The good news is that it does slowly get easier with time and I don't have to drink or use just because I am feeling icky. That's really the kicker. I would not have got any better at sharing had I not continued to keep alcohol and drugs out of my life.
You're doing great!
You're doing great!
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
I appreciate the feedback. It really helps me to know that I am not the only person who has felt like this.
It is almost as though everything that has been stuffed for so long is emerging back to the surface and sometimes, it comes back really fast. It is rough to feel so much stuff at the same time and it can really be complicated when trying to process it all.
It kind of like trying to find the right key to open up what is inside. It just seems weird sometimes. Then, there are times when I feel like I need to talk about what is going on and then I have trouble finding just the right words to express it, LOL.
I guess that is the reason that it is about the journey and not the destination, right? ;-)
It is almost as though everything that has been stuffed for so long is emerging back to the surface and sometimes, it comes back really fast. It is rough to feel so much stuff at the same time and it can really be complicated when trying to process it all.
It kind of like trying to find the right key to open up what is inside. It just seems weird sometimes. Then, there are times when I feel like I need to talk about what is going on and then I have trouble finding just the right words to express it, LOL.
I guess that is the reason that it is about the journey and not the destination, right? ;-)
In Recovery
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 259
H4L,
I'm like Aries (that's also my "sign")...I tend to regurgitate my feelings all over people, and then wonder why they don't act all compassionate and sorry for me and my woes.
I guess the secret is in the "balance"??
I'm like Aries (that's also my "sign")...I tend to regurgitate my feelings all over people, and then wonder why they don't act all compassionate and sorry for me and my woes.
I guess the secret is in the "balance"??
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
Cheryl,
Writing or keeping a journal could really help you a lot. I was really 'stuck' with my feelings, after having been around here for awhile, and someone whose opinion I valued greatly, suggested journalling. I thought, well, maybe sometime I'd do that. Meanwhile months went by and eventually I started to write. It was really hard to stick with it, but after a few days it got better. I found that it was a way to connect with my feelings and get used to expressing myself.
And, Hope, it is ALL about the journey!
Writing or keeping a journal could really help you a lot. I was really 'stuck' with my feelings, after having been around here for awhile, and someone whose opinion I valued greatly, suggested journalling. I thought, well, maybe sometime I'd do that. Meanwhile months went by and eventually I started to write. It was really hard to stick with it, but after a few days it got better. I found that it was a way to connect with my feelings and get used to expressing myself.
And, Hope, it is ALL about the journey!
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Cheryl
It is so hard sometimes to talk about our feelings, but you know what the program says, that no one can argue about the way that we feel. WE OWN our feelings. You know one thing that has helped me out so much, and yes journal helps.
One day I went to see my children, and had a wonderful time. On the way back, I started to cry, for all the sh!t that I put them through. Those feeling are real, and when I was driving, I remembered something. There is a process to let go.
1. We have to own the feelings they are ours.
2. We have to live the feelings (which we are if we are feeling them)
3. We have to accept that this is the way that we feel.
4. Then we let it go.
The forth is the hardest one to do, because we want to keep them. But if we can just learn to let them go after the process, we will be OK. Feelings are neither right or wrong, it is how we act upon our feelings that are right or wrong. Sending tons of good thoughts your way.
Love Vic
It is so hard sometimes to talk about our feelings, but you know what the program says, that no one can argue about the way that we feel. WE OWN our feelings. You know one thing that has helped me out so much, and yes journal helps.
One day I went to see my children, and had a wonderful time. On the way back, I started to cry, for all the sh!t that I put them through. Those feeling are real, and when I was driving, I remembered something. There is a process to let go.
1. We have to own the feelings they are ours.
2. We have to live the feelings (which we are if we are feeling them)
3. We have to accept that this is the way that we feel.
4. Then we let it go.
The forth is the hardest one to do, because we want to keep them. But if we can just learn to let them go after the process, we will be OK. Feelings are neither right or wrong, it is how we act upon our feelings that are right or wrong. Sending tons of good thoughts your way.
Love Vic
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