OT - I'm sorry
Procrastinator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 76
OT - I'm sorry
I am in a lot of pain right now. My dog, who just turned 15, has lymphoma. She wasn't a "candidate" for chemo as she is too ill. At first I kept going back to the vet for every symptom, basically waiting for them to tell me it was okay to put her down. She had a major central nervous system reaction to an opiate she took (does everyone in my life have to overdose? lol) and has been having hard times since Friday. She can't control her bowels, she's vomiting blood, and she is having a very hard time breathing. She's had a fever for over a month but can't take pills as she keeps throwing them up. I carry her up and down the stairs as she can't walk.
Over the years, seeing other pet owners go through things like this, I always promised myself that I would do the humane thing for me pretty Nikki. Now the vet is asking me to put her down. I have a problem....I can't bring myself to do it. The vet has even offered to come to the house. She isn't crying or whining, just her quality of life is going down the drain i.e. no bowels, vomiting, hasn't eaten, etc. I just can't bring myself to do it! And it is so much harder now as I feel as though I am going through this alone.
My AB has been sober since February and is trying to be supportive, but he doesn't want to put her down either. I need help. I need strength. I just can't bring myself to do it.
I'm not overly religious or anything, but please say a little prayer or send good thoughts my poor Nikki's way. I just wish I would wake up to find that nature has taken it's course, but it never happens that way....each day is a super struggle for me and my dog.....I feel I am putting this suffering on her. What is wrong with me? I always said I could do it if the time came, but here it is and I just can't do it.......sorry for blubbering. xoxoxo
Over the years, seeing other pet owners go through things like this, I always promised myself that I would do the humane thing for me pretty Nikki. Now the vet is asking me to put her down. I have a problem....I can't bring myself to do it. The vet has even offered to come to the house. She isn't crying or whining, just her quality of life is going down the drain i.e. no bowels, vomiting, hasn't eaten, etc. I just can't bring myself to do it! And it is so much harder now as I feel as though I am going through this alone.
My AB has been sober since February and is trying to be supportive, but he doesn't want to put her down either. I need help. I need strength. I just can't bring myself to do it.
I'm not overly religious or anything, but please say a little prayer or send good thoughts my poor Nikki's way. I just wish I would wake up to find that nature has taken it's course, but it never happens that way....each day is a super struggle for me and my dog.....I feel I am putting this suffering on her. What is wrong with me? I always said I could do it if the time came, but here it is and I just can't do it.......sorry for blubbering. xoxoxo
Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: crownpoint newyork
Posts: 820
Hi, I know how difficult it is to put a pet to sleep. I know when I buried my Shila i wanted to jump in the hole with her. I know that may sound crazy but I felt so lost! Their love is so unconditional. Letting them go is the finally act of kindness we can give them. It is a hurt that no time will heal-just don't let her suffer! My heart is with you tonight! Google the Rainbow Bridge! Nikki will be waiting for u!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Boca Raton, FL
Posts: 9
I put my dog down this past Saturday. A bueatiful Boxer named Diamond (Diamond's are a "girls" best friend, but unfortunately, in this case, not forever)... I had her for 11 wonderful years (longer then the men in my life!). I got the news on May 11th when I took her in because her tummy was bloated... she was acting wierd, panting alot and laying on the tile floor (something she never did). I had a preminition it was going to be bad news, and on the anniversary of my mother dying (killed by a drunk driver on Mother's day 1985) he delivered the news. An internal tumor had burst causing blood to flow into her abdomin, it was terminal. He assured me she was feeling no pain but would become increasingly weak (anemic).
The vet said to take her home for the weekend and spoil her (this was Friday)... I cried for 18 hours but pulled myself together enough through it all to buy her the biggest bone, a steak dinner, cookies, and the longest hug on record. I awoke Saturday after a sleepness night (her panting was caused by the liquid in her abdomin pressing against her lungs, again the doc assured no pain). She collapsed that morning in the yard while trying to do her dutie... that was it for me. I knew she wouldn't make it till Monday and I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering via respiratory failure, heart attack, etc.
My boyfriend took a seat out of his work van and I laid on the floor with her... we drove her to the beach and watched the boats and the birds. Placing her back in the van she fell asleep in my arms en route to the vets. People told me to have someone else do it but I wanted to be there holding her. If it's any consolation it wasn't as horrifying as I expected. I laid on the floor with her, her head cupped in my hands and we looked each other in the yes while I told her how much I loved her and how my mom would be there waiting for her. The vet inserted the needle in her arm and she closed her eyes within 5 seconds. That was it. It was peaceful and dignifying.
At Mass on Sunday (Mother's Day) I cried for my mother and Diamond when the thought hit me. Not since 1985 was I able to give my Mother a Mother's Day gift. This year I gave her the best gift of all... I gave her my beloved Diamond and I know the 2 of them are OK. My two biggest loves, whom had never had the opportunity to meet, are now together.
You'll make the right decision when the time is right. My thoughts are with you and I know, as I did you'll find peace with it. Her bed is still next to mine, her bowls are still in the kitchen and I cry every day. But tthe tears are good ones now as the days go on. I hope my story helped
The vet said to take her home for the weekend and spoil her (this was Friday)... I cried for 18 hours but pulled myself together enough through it all to buy her the biggest bone, a steak dinner, cookies, and the longest hug on record. I awoke Saturday after a sleepness night (her panting was caused by the liquid in her abdomin pressing against her lungs, again the doc assured no pain). She collapsed that morning in the yard while trying to do her dutie... that was it for me. I knew she wouldn't make it till Monday and I couldn't bear the thought of her suffering via respiratory failure, heart attack, etc.
My boyfriend took a seat out of his work van and I laid on the floor with her... we drove her to the beach and watched the boats and the birds. Placing her back in the van she fell asleep in my arms en route to the vets. People told me to have someone else do it but I wanted to be there holding her. If it's any consolation it wasn't as horrifying as I expected. I laid on the floor with her, her head cupped in my hands and we looked each other in the yes while I told her how much I loved her and how my mom would be there waiting for her. The vet inserted the needle in her arm and she closed her eyes within 5 seconds. That was it. It was peaceful and dignifying.
At Mass on Sunday (Mother's Day) I cried for my mother and Diamond when the thought hit me. Not since 1985 was I able to give my Mother a Mother's Day gift. This year I gave her the best gift of all... I gave her my beloved Diamond and I know the 2 of them are OK. My two biggest loves, whom had never had the opportunity to meet, are now together.
You'll make the right decision when the time is right. My thoughts are with you and I know, as I did you'll find peace with it. Her bed is still next to mine, her bowls are still in the kitchen and I cry every day. But tthe tears are good ones now as the days go on. I hope my story helped
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Sweetie, your beloved friend can't tell you what she needs. But if she could, she'd tell you it's OK to let her go. You can't keep her at your side by holding on too tightly. It's unfair of us to ask our devoted canine friends to suffer so that we can have them in our lives for a few days longer. As a life-long dog lover, an owner of four dogs myself, an animal rescuer who spends her days plucking homeless animals off the streets and finding them loving homes, and a friend, I'm telling you it's time to let sweet Nikki go.
A Dog's Prayer
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
--Beth Norman Harris
A Dog's Prayer
Treat me kindly, my beloved master, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between the blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet, please take me inside... for I am now a domesticated animal, no longer used to bitter elements... and I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth... though had you no home, I would rather follow you through ice and snow than rest upon the softest pillow in the warmest home in all the land... for you are my god... and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for although I should not reproach you were it dry, I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food, that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should the Great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave you knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.
--Beth Norman Harris
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
A Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
(((lovebdj)))
I know how hard it is to have to make that decision. I held onto my first cat a little too long. But when I heard her cry out in pain, that was it for me. I put my own feelings aside and did what was best for her.
With my second cat, I probably let her go a couple of days early. But, she didn't suffer any pain.
In both cases, I know the last thing they heard was the love in my voice for them, and the comfort of being in Mommy's arms.
Letting them go was THE hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. But I had to do it for them. For all the love they had given me all those years, I had to love them enough to give them the greatest gift I could...letting them go onto a better place, free of suffering and pain.
I believe with every fiber in my body I will be together with them again. I cannot believe that God has given me such a wonderful and important gift to enjoy in life and not reunite me with them again when it's my time.
(((letterqueen))),
I'm so sorry. I'm crying right along with you.
I know how hard it is to have to make that decision. I held onto my first cat a little too long. But when I heard her cry out in pain, that was it for me. I put my own feelings aside and did what was best for her.
With my second cat, I probably let her go a couple of days early. But, she didn't suffer any pain.
In both cases, I know the last thing they heard was the love in my voice for them, and the comfort of being in Mommy's arms.
Letting them go was THE hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. But I had to do it for them. For all the love they had given me all those years, I had to love them enough to give them the greatest gift I could...letting them go onto a better place, free of suffering and pain.
I believe with every fiber in my body I will be together with them again. I cannot believe that God has given me such a wonderful and important gift to enjoy in life and not reunite me with them again when it's my time.
(((letterqueen))),
I'm so sorry. I'm crying right along with you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
Posts: 1,331
She can't control her bowels, she's vomiting blood, and she is having a very hard time breathing. She's had a fever for over a month but can't take pills as she keeps throwing them up. I carry her up and down the stairs as she can't walk.
I am a dog breeder, I own 12 dogs currently and my dogs are my life and I have gone to extremes to save my dogs when there was hope... what you are doing is inhumane to her and for 15 years she has given you nothing but unconditional love ..... please do the same for her! She is suffering!
Good Luck and I will pray you do the right thing by a dog that you say you love so much.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
(((ilovedbj))) Losing a pet is such a traumatic experience for anyone. They become such members of our families. I am so sorry for your pain and for Nikki's pain. I will say prayers for you both. Hugs, hugs and more hugs.
Still learning; ever grateful
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 842
ilove, I'm SO with you, honey. I just had to put down my 13 year old 'baby' 2 months ago. It was the hardest decision, but to this day I know it was the right one.
If she's coughing up blood.... you must make the SELF-LESS decision and take her to the vet and set her free. She knows how much you love her - this step is the most loving thing you can do now.
I'm with you. Believe me....
Much peace to you,
DG
If she's coughing up blood.... you must make the SELF-LESS decision and take her to the vet and set her free. She knows how much you love her - this step is the most loving thing you can do now.
I'm with you. Believe me....
Much peace to you,
DG
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 495
It is a hard decision and it's different when it is you. My mother just had to put down her dog who was 17 earlier this week. She said it was very hard for her. Just pray about it and in time an answer will come. Take care. 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
It is harder to let go of a pet than a person, I think. A person can create closure, can tell you they're ready, can tell you they've had enough of life. An animal can't say that.
I've put down many a pet, every time the decision was gut wrenching and heart rendering. Everytime I had to make that decision, I always asked myself "Would I want to live in the condition that my pet is currently in?" When the answer to that question became "no", then it was time.
I've put down many a pet, every time the decision was gut wrenching and heart rendering. Everytime I had to make that decision, I always asked myself "Would I want to live in the condition that my pet is currently in?" When the answer to that question became "no", then it was time.
Procrastinator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 76
Thank you all so much....letterqueen and ICU, thank you for your stories, it helps. And thanks for the poems everyone.....she's still w/ me now and I'm hoping that she's taking comfort in my hugs and petting....although she'll probably die w/ a bald spot on top of her head as I'm petting her 24/7. Thanks everyone for your support. xoxoxo
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