Please welcome Gin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Greenfield IN
Posts: 1
I Am An A, Acoa And Coda, Survivor Of Sexual Abuse
Hello everyone,
I ran across this site accidently and feel that I was directed to come here.
I have been sober since 1/1/1980, a constant member of ACOA for 16 yrs, come July 11, a member of CODA for approx 3 or 4 yrs. I am an Asst Manager of "Living In Today" for alcholics.
My parents did not drink, both grandfathers did. My mother started drinking whiskey the last 3 yrs of her life that I know of. If she was drinking before that, she was good at hiding it because I didn't know. She was a rage-a-holic, blowing up like a volcano several times per day. I became very anxiety-ridden, afrraid to speak, afraid not to obey her commands.
I married 4 alcoholics who had her traits, ragers, emotionally unavailable and sad to say, I discovered that 3 of the 4 men I married were child molesters; the last marriage lasted 29 yrs before I walked in on him molesting my 6 yr old grand daughter. I insisted he move out. He did on a Monday and on Tuesday, he was found dead in a Motel room he had rented.
He showed no indication that he would molest a child but he was certainly emotionally unavailable to me just as my previous marriages had been and my parents I never felt like I was loved, accepted for who I am, struggled with fear of abandonment and had horrendous trust issues.
I came into the program at age 57 and in August I will be 73 yrs old. I am grateful for ACOA and the other 12 step groups for if a person follows the 12 steps, gets the family secrets out in the open, it it is possible to heal.
I have never been so busy, so content and filled with peace as I am now.
My parents wee the first Gods that I knew and for me to comprehend the fact that there was a hp that loved me and cared about me was the hardest part of my working the program. I doubted that I could trust this hp to look after me and love me when no one else had. However, I came to believe in the sprituality of the program and now, I have found my purpose in life. My purpose to give back to the program for if I don't give it away, I won't keep it. I am into a lot of 12th step work and sponsoring A's and ACOA's. I am still learning every day and growing. This is a lifelong commitment for me. I will always be attending meetings and doing 12th step work.
I am happy to be here.
Gin
I ran across this site accidently and feel that I was directed to come here.
I have been sober since 1/1/1980, a constant member of ACOA for 16 yrs, come July 11, a member of CODA for approx 3 or 4 yrs. I am an Asst Manager of "Living In Today" for alcholics.
My parents did not drink, both grandfathers did. My mother started drinking whiskey the last 3 yrs of her life that I know of. If she was drinking before that, she was good at hiding it because I didn't know. She was a rage-a-holic, blowing up like a volcano several times per day. I became very anxiety-ridden, afrraid to speak, afraid not to obey her commands.
I married 4 alcoholics who had her traits, ragers, emotionally unavailable and sad to say, I discovered that 3 of the 4 men I married were child molesters; the last marriage lasted 29 yrs before I walked in on him molesting my 6 yr old grand daughter. I insisted he move out. He did on a Monday and on Tuesday, he was found dead in a Motel room he had rented.
He showed no indication that he would molest a child but he was certainly emotionally unavailable to me just as my previous marriages had been and my parents I never felt like I was loved, accepted for who I am, struggled with fear of abandonment and had horrendous trust issues.
I came into the program at age 57 and in August I will be 73 yrs old. I am grateful for ACOA and the other 12 step groups for if a person follows the 12 steps, gets the family secrets out in the open, it it is possible to heal.
I have never been so busy, so content and filled with peace as I am now.
My parents wee the first Gods that I knew and for me to comprehend the fact that there was a hp that loved me and cared about me was the hardest part of my working the program. I doubted that I could trust this hp to look after me and love me when no one else had. However, I came to believe in the sprituality of the program and now, I have found my purpose in life. My purpose to give back to the program for if I don't give it away, I won't keep it. I am into a lot of 12th step work and sponsoring A's and ACOA's. I am still learning every day and growing. This is a lifelong commitment for me. I will always be attending meetings and doing 12th step work.
I am happy to be here.
Gin
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
Welcome to the board Gin. Feel free to poke around, read and respond. It's a wonderful place. Take what you need and leave what you don't. It sounds like you've come a very long ways in your journey, and for that you are to be lauded.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there Gin, and welcome to SR. We're glad to have you in our "family" here. Your story is inspiring. You may wish to look around the other forums we have, there's a great "Friends and Family" forum and a "Alcoholics Anonymous" forum as well.
Your story is inspiring. I'm so glad you found the program and an HP that loves you. You didn't say anything about your kids, I hope they're doing well.
Mike
Your story is inspiring. I'm so glad you found the program and an HP that loves you. You didn't say anything about your kids, I hope they're doing well.
Mike
In Recovery
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 259
Gin,
Welcome to SR! I've been visiting since January (ACOA since Oct 2004, AA since Jan 2005)...it is such a great place! When I feel like I'm emailing and calling my Sponsor and my other unofficial sponsors "too much" (my feelings, not theirs), I come here, and then I don't feel like I'm over-leaning on others.
What an inspiring story. I'm 36 years of age, and working through some really heavy marital relationship issues myself. I think we will find your wisdom and experience very valuable around here!
Kari
Welcome to SR! I've been visiting since January (ACOA since Oct 2004, AA since Jan 2005)...it is such a great place! When I feel like I'm emailing and calling my Sponsor and my other unofficial sponsors "too much" (my feelings, not theirs), I come here, and then I don't feel like I'm over-leaning on others.
What an inspiring story. I'm 36 years of age, and working through some really heavy marital relationship issues myself. I think we will find your wisdom and experience very valuable around here!
Kari
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Noah's Ark
Posts: 98
Hi Gin, glad your with us and you are an inspiration to me. I also have some trust issues and some other stuff in my life that are similiar to yours but by your example I can all learn alot from you.
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