reader

My husband pointed out to me that I can't deal with change. He suggested that we move the furniture around I said no, I can't deal with it. Burt pointed out to me that since he built me a under the cupboard shelf for my micro and he moved the coffee pot I still go to the old place. It has been since the first week in November. My house is still no different with the exception of a few pictures which were gifts since I moved in 15 years ago. I am really in a rut any suggestions? Kerry

best

Adjust *LOL*

I dislike change as well.
I am stubborn and dislike change. Good combo *LOL*
What I have found out about me...
It isn't change I dislike, it is the unknown I run questions all over. I need the facts before I accept any change. No way, we won't be doing that.
Well after seeing someone else do things and seeing how it worked for them, I started to slooooowly accept that some change may work.

Do you like things as they are or are you worried what it may look like if changed? If something isn't like, it can be changed back.
A little exploring (slow changes) can show you that "some" change can be good.

try it..you may find you like it.
Worked for me.

reader

Great ideas Best! I have to wonder if my resistance to change in and around the home is a reflection of my inner issues. Do I hang on to old routines as a way to control my enviroment. I can't change my husbands alcoholism but I can control the "objects" in my home. Any thoughts?

best

Sounds like codie behavior of self? Is such possible?

I took an on line personality test that was required for a position I had.
What the test helped me see... why I do what I do in the manner I do it.
The way I am wired has me make my choices based on my personality.
When I started to see and understand my strengths, I started finding ways that I could put them to proper use. I didn't change who I am, I changed how I see things and do things. I try working with my strengths, not change any weaknesses I may have. A balance gets found with less effort that way.
The focus gets put on what works best for me.

FormerDoormat

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

I always said, "the only place where I can control everything is inside my home." Spoken like a true codie.

You are one smart cookie, Reader.

Now, about breaking the cycle--there's only one way to do it. Start making changes--little ones at first then work up to bigger ones as you become more comfortable with the idea--and make them often often.

A good place to start--move that furniture woman! And remember to push it more towards the center of the room--do not push everything up against the walls like 99.9% of folks do. Ever notice that beautiful rooms in magazines feature furniture placed AWAY from the walls and walls painted in saturated hues like burgangy, hunter green, or navy?

We all loves those rooms, but yet 99.9% of the homes I've visited are all the same. White or beige walls. Furniture all neatly aligned on the perimeter of the walls. In fact, all of them are carbon copies of each other.

We all are unique. Our homes should be a reflection of our true selves. I see no all-white or beige people on this forum.

So buy a few gallons of paint in a non-neutral, bold color. Don't choose the lightest color on your color card (the top color). Choose from the third row or below. Be bold, be courageous, dare to be different.

Life is too short to live in a neutral, monotone, or colorless world. Time to shake things up!

reader

Well u sure have me pegged. I had to laugh when I looked in the livingroom- Beige paint and furniture lined up against the walls. I have been playing it to safe for too long- Thanks, I will try to shake things up- great advice FD, Kerry

buckeye_gal

I had to smile when I read this thread. It is so ME.....

I just bought a house in Dec. The walls in my living room are a deep corral. The only reason they are that color is because that's the color they were when I bought the house. And yes........my furniture is up against the walls.

And you know another thing I am in control of? My weight! If I am overweight....it's my call. If I lose weight.....that's my call too. So I have been up and down the scales a zillion times in the past 20 years.

Good luck with the redecorating...reader.

Genia

Pick-a-name

Good suggestions above.

As far as doing things the same way.....part of human nature is habit. Even is "free-form" types have a "routine", recognized or not. A lot of times a person will find a way that "works" and just keep doing it. It STILL may be the best for you.who knows? I don't think there is necessarily anything "wrong" with sticking with what works.

Small changes sometimes are what prompt me into more, so maybe start with something small and then see where it goes. It is true: if you don't like it, change it again.

Have fun....it's just furniture,etc. It's your home.....make it work for you and how you like it; not how you think it "should be" for others to see. Maybe call in a friend or two that have a flare for this. I never realized it, but some people really can not "see" or visualize things like that....I have had many friends call me come over and give them ideas and suggestions. My problems is not so much coming up with ideas, but narrowing them down! Maybe it would give you more confidence to get started that way. JMO

reader

Calling a friend really struck a chord. I thought back to when my son was four. He wanted me to put together a goose bump puzzle. It was for ages 5-8. After 3 hours he actually came over and mixed the puzzle all up and said forget it Mommy. You are hurting your brain, I only had 1/4 of it done. Needless to say, I am spatial challenged. I would be embrassed to even admit this to anyone I see in person, thats the great thing about this group, I am free to be me. Kerry