Looking for a friend......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: marsing idaho
Posts: 6
Looking for a friend......
I got pregnant when I was 22. I love my son. I love his Dad deeply. I have been around drinkers my whole life.. I hate it. My Husband drinks every night. Rather it is one or twelve. Sometimes he starts at noon and makes day out of it. I told myself I would not marry a drunk I promised myself, that my son could have better, better than I had. In Feb I married him, And we are in a spot that the drinking is at high. He told me he was taking my son to fish. He swore that he would not drink, He lied I was so pissed. I yelled I screamed I told he was a bad dad. And he is not.... I need help I cant do this. I am not sure where to post this. Any words of wisdom.......... I love him I will not live like this
Amanda
Amanda
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Have you tried Alanon? If not, that would be a good place to start. Another good starting place is to read as many posts on this forum as you possibly can to see what solutions worked for others here. Welcome to SoberRecovery.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Hi again Amanda!
Welcome. I'm a little confused with your story (did you marry him knowing he was alcoholic?), but that doesn't matter really.
If you've been visiting the site for awhile, you've probably noticed one of the first questions is: what are you doing to take care of yourself? Have you ever attended an Al-Anon meeting? Gone to therapy?
You can start by educating yourself - read here, there are some excellent books out there including "Under the Influence" and "Co-Dependent No More."
The most important thing to know right now is that as far as his drinking goes you did not cause it, can't control it and can't cure it. But you can start to make some changes - to yourself.
Others will come along with great advice - especially those who have children (I do not). In the meantime, keep reading and posting. Glad you're here!
Welcome. I'm a little confused with your story (did you marry him knowing he was alcoholic?), but that doesn't matter really.
If you've been visiting the site for awhile, you've probably noticed one of the first questions is: what are you doing to take care of yourself? Have you ever attended an Al-Anon meeting? Gone to therapy?
You can start by educating yourself - read here, there are some excellent books out there including "Under the Influence" and "Co-Dependent No More."
The most important thing to know right now is that as far as his drinking goes you did not cause it, can't control it and can't cure it. But you can start to make some changes - to yourself.
Others will come along with great advice - especially those who have children (I do not). In the meantime, keep reading and posting. Glad you're here!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
lost, Welcome to SR, Have you had a chance to read the stickey's at the top etc.
I am hopeing you feel less alone, also feel free to post anytime.
I really would encourage you to attend Al-Anon as well as coming here., in both places take what you can use and leave the rest. HUGS
I am hopeing you feel less alone, also feel free to post anytime.
I really would encourage you to attend Al-Anon as well as coming here., in both places take what you can use and leave the rest. HUGS
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Welcome to SR lost. We understand, support,care and share.
I found a new way of living a quality, peaceful life in Alanon and suggest you find a face to face meeting where you'll find others just like you. Keep posting and know you are not alone.
I found a new way of living a quality, peaceful life in Alanon and suggest you find a face to face meeting where you'll find others just like you. Keep posting and know you are not alone.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Welcome to SR and you are not alone. All the above advice is great. You'd be surprised at how many of us are out there. Al-Anon, a counselor or some other type of face to face support would be great for you. Also, please read a lot here and feel free to post any time. There is really nothing that you can do to curtail your husband's drinking. All you do have control over is how YOU deal with it. There are ways to find peace in living with an alcoholic and there is always the option to leave. Those are your only two options in order for YOU to keep your sanity and your peace. All the best to you and please do stick around.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
All good advice ....
I just wanted to welcome you to SR. Please read as much as you can here,
the books suggested by Denny are terrific, "Marriage on the Rocks" is another
you might want to look into, and most of all Alanon. It's not for everyone
but give it a try and see if it's for you....it's free you have nothing to lose.
I just wanted to welcome you to SR. Please read as much as you can here,
the books suggested by Denny are terrific, "Marriage on the Rocks" is another
you might want to look into, and most of all Alanon. It's not for everyone
but give it a try and see if it's for you....it's free you have nothing to lose.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: marsing idaho
Posts: 6
Thank you all so much for your understanding. Yes, Danny I was well aware of the fact he had a drink problem when we got married. I guess I thought I was doing right by my son. My Father was never around, and I have a lot of issues because of it. My dad is a part of my life now. And as long as he stays sober he will be around for his grandson. He has hep C, if he drinks he will die. His liver is not functioning well at all. I never understood why drinking would be worth your life. I don't drink ever not even at party or social gatherings of any sort.I have had a fair share of issues with substance abuse back in the day.
I went to Ala-Teen as a child. I have never been to a alanon meeting.. I have a book my mother gave me "the courage to chance" I have read 100 times. I guess I never applied it to me or my life. I will look into alanon.. Thank you again, Amanda
I went to Ala-Teen as a child. I have never been to a alanon meeting.. I have a book my mother gave me "the courage to chance" I have read 100 times. I guess I never applied it to me or my life. I will look into alanon.. Thank you again, Amanda
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