Originally Posted by british bulldog

hey, i'm not as old as you guys, i am 13 but i have one alcoholic parent, i can't move put of my house, nor do i want to, i love my mum, and shes a great mother when she is sober, but when she is not (quite often) i end up getting really depressed, i want to help her but i get so angry with her, i am frustrated with myself that i can not find the solution to stop her alcoholism. it's like a constant thought in my mind wherever i go, i am always thinking, "i hope she isn't drunk" when she picks me up from the train station or when im with my friends i am always hoping she isn't drunk and when she is drunk around my friends it is so embarrasing. My parents love each other but my mums drinking problem is making them drift apart and i fear they will get a divorce. To stop this happening i try so hard in school so they are happy, i worked my ass off to get into this grammar school that is rated 5th out if all of the schools in England and get into all of the sports teams in school, i do it because all the positives i produce in a way kind of detract from the negatives. but thats only a short term solution and soon they are arguing again because of alcohol.
Having just read through this i realise i sound like i am so depressed and unhappy and want to hurt myself, this is not true, i gennerally have a great life and i'm very privalleged, i have loads of friends, a nice girlfriend, have loads of fun and enjoy my life but this problem is eating away at me and my family, i don't ask for a soultion, i just wanted to talk to people about it, it feels so good to get it off of my chest. thanks.