I'm applying for a new job!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I'm applying for a new job!!!
I'm so excited - I've seen a job that UTTERLY appeals to me, and I'm sure I have the skills!!
It's working with young fathers in disadvantaged areas to empower them to improve their family's situation!!
I really really want the job - I like people, I see what they can do rather than what they can't. Nothing could have made me more committed to helping parents help their families than 5 years working with kids in care. Ok - it's more emotional soup, but hell - I'm an old war dog and it'd never be long before I was back on the campaign trail!
There's one glitch and I'd like suggestions how to deal with it sensitively - I do mean sensitively. Me working in rough areas with mostly men is going to hit D's anxiety head on. I haven't spoken to him yet - I only saw the job this afternoon. He doesn't want to restrict my freedom but it scares him for real, his fear may be wrong or misguided but it's real. Thing is it's other managers and proffessionals that try to have a go at me not the people I work with. I've worked with some of the most violent kids in our county and had more hugs from them than anything. I grew up in the poorest part of the poorest part and I know through to my toes I'm no better than the people I'm often expected to view as 'them'. That's why I never get the trouble.
It'll frighten D for real, maybe he'll try and stop me just as all of us have done at some time when we're scared a partner will hurt themself. I'll have to weigh up my priorities as I go along - but I want this job AND I want D to learn I'm the original bad penny, I always come home, I don't want him to be scared for me anymore - it'll hurt us in the long run because I have to great a love affair with freedom.
I'm trying to figure out how to approach this sensitively, not to harm, to keep patience and to be of use in him feeling better not worse - but approach it I will 'cos LORD I want that job!
It's working with young fathers in disadvantaged areas to empower them to improve their family's situation!!
I really really want the job - I like people, I see what they can do rather than what they can't. Nothing could have made me more committed to helping parents help their families than 5 years working with kids in care. Ok - it's more emotional soup, but hell - I'm an old war dog and it'd never be long before I was back on the campaign trail!
There's one glitch and I'd like suggestions how to deal with it sensitively - I do mean sensitively. Me working in rough areas with mostly men is going to hit D's anxiety head on. I haven't spoken to him yet - I only saw the job this afternoon. He doesn't want to restrict my freedom but it scares him for real, his fear may be wrong or misguided but it's real. Thing is it's other managers and proffessionals that try to have a go at me not the people I work with. I've worked with some of the most violent kids in our county and had more hugs from them than anything. I grew up in the poorest part of the poorest part and I know through to my toes I'm no better than the people I'm often expected to view as 'them'. That's why I never get the trouble.
It'll frighten D for real, maybe he'll try and stop me just as all of us have done at some time when we're scared a partner will hurt themself. I'll have to weigh up my priorities as I go along - but I want this job AND I want D to learn I'm the original bad penny, I always come home, I don't want him to be scared for me anymore - it'll hurt us in the long run because I have to great a love affair with freedom.
I'm trying to figure out how to approach this sensitively, not to harm, to keep patience and to be of use in him feeling better not worse - but approach it I will 'cos LORD I want that job!
*
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lincolnshire, England
Posts: 464
Lord Ruth! that's a difficult one (Hi
) Phil would wrap me in cottonwool if he could.
It'll take bags and bags of reasurance that you'll be "protected" in difficult situations, that you will have adequate backup at all times for D to have peace of mind. We both know that the logistics of that will be difficult.
I do hope that you can resolve it for both of you.
) Phil would wrap me in cottonwool if he could.It'll take bags and bags of reasurance that you'll be "protected" in difficult situations, that you will have adequate backup at all times for D to have peace of mind. We both know that the logistics of that will be difficult.
I do hope that you can resolve it for both of you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I've told him. He looked at it, said he would probably worry but that he'd have to get over that! Then he started to say all the stuff I should mention if I get to interview - like growing up with homeless men!! Last of all he added how he'd seen the dangerous teenagers I work with (refering to a now 6ft + 20yr old who gave me a whopping great bear hug he saw me at the market) and that he didn't think I upset people much, he added they seem quite pleased to see me!!
I'm still reeling! Oh - and he said to book us a holiday tonight!
We talked lots about him not being so worried about me last weekend - seems a penny has genuinely dropped! I think he knows I can't be happy except as me, I think he's picked me being happy.
I'm still reeling! Oh - and he said to book us a holiday tonight!
We talked lots about him not being so worried about me last weekend - seems a penny has genuinely dropped! I think he knows I can't be happy except as me, I think he's picked me being happy.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
I may be wrong but from your posts recently I was thinking D anxiety was... well... going away? Sure you're not making too big a deal out of it? Talk to him, I'm betting he'll be supportive. Things sure are looking up for you two
BTW, been meaning to ask... what's the difference between Meeeeep and Eeeeeep? Little fuzzy on that one...
BTW, been meaning to ask... what's the difference between Meeeeep and Eeeeeep? Little fuzzy on that one...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
No - difference, meeeeeeep came from eeeeep - why I don't know!
I don't always know what's happening with him but I trust his intentions, I think for all of us when we know where we want to be we also sort of know what we should do to get there.
I don't always know what's happening with him but I trust his intentions, I think for all of us when we know where we want to be we also sort of know what we should do to get there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
I'm still just as excited this morning!! I didn't get to book the holiday though - I was just about to pay and realised I might have an interview! I'm happy about that 'cos the holiday was a biggy too.
My mission today is to try and get an informal chat. they have a number for informal enquiries but they are re-directing to the main application number (already done). The guy I spoke to yesterday was determined not to put me through to the named person!
There's something else worrying me too, I had a month off work last year because at the time my CV wasn't exactly a priority - I was told it would be better to take it off sick than as compassionate leave and stupidly I didn't question it. The doctor signed me off for stress because she said working and caring for D was putting impossible pressure on me; I'll never forget her words that our situation was intolerable and inhumane. I worry ('cos I worry) that it's something employers look at and is a real put off.
BTW - If I get this job I'm going to apply for a P/T Ma in counselling psychotherapy!! I know I said I never would but so much has changed at home I feel very differently about it. I don't think I'd want that as a career but I think it would be interesting and make a good addition to my CV. If I don't get the job I think I'll still go for the careers guidance qualification.
My mission today is to try and get an informal chat. they have a number for informal enquiries but they are re-directing to the main application number (already done). The guy I spoke to yesterday was determined not to put me through to the named person!
There's something else worrying me too, I had a month off work last year because at the time my CV wasn't exactly a priority - I was told it would be better to take it off sick than as compassionate leave and stupidly I didn't question it. The doctor signed me off for stress because she said working and caring for D was putting impossible pressure on me; I'll never forget her words that our situation was intolerable and inhumane. I worry ('cos I worry) that it's something employers look at and is a real put off.
BTW - If I get this job I'm going to apply for a P/T Ma in counselling psychotherapy!! I know I said I never would but so much has changed at home I feel very differently about it. I don't think I'd want that as a career but I think it would be interesting and make a good addition to my CV. If I don't get the job I think I'll still go for the careers guidance qualification.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
BLAH!! I just showed the advert to someone here that knows her stuff - she thinks they are looking for a working class man!!
I'm female and class wise I've crossed the tracks so many times I'm not anything anymore - just a heinz 57!! I'm going to apply anyway, but I don't feel hopeful - I'd had the same hunch myself.
I think I loved my first job so much and for all the ups and downs I've done exceptional jobs ever since, the thought of ordinary feels so bleak to me.
I'm female and class wise I've crossed the tracks so many times I'm not anything anymore - just a heinz 57!! I'm going to apply anyway, but I don't feel hopeful - I'd had the same hunch myself.
I think I loved my first job so much and for all the ups and downs I've done exceptional jobs ever since, the thought of ordinary feels so bleak to me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Equus,
Let's look at the positives, and these are in no particular order....It seems as though D is reasonably ok with you going for this job. You are excited about the scope of the job. It seems as though it would be something that you would be terrific at.
Ok, so you took some time off for very good reasons. It was a family related health issue. I would think they might possibly understand considering the scope of the job that you are planning to go for. Just be honest.
In any event, whether or not you get this job, you will get more experience at applying for this type of work. And, if this doesn't pan out, something similiar to it might be just around the corner for you. Or, they might keep you in mind for something similar in the very near future.
Recently my counselor told me to think 'positive thoughts'. When we think positively, we put out that kind of energy, and, positive things come to us in return. When we think negatively and have negative energy, negative things come to us in return. Hold on to your enthusiasm and excitment; let go of your doubts and fears. For when you are excited about something Equus, your enthusiasm is contageous and it's very evident in your posts.
Let's look at the positives, and these are in no particular order....It seems as though D is reasonably ok with you going for this job. You are excited about the scope of the job. It seems as though it would be something that you would be terrific at.
Ok, so you took some time off for very good reasons. It was a family related health issue. I would think they might possibly understand considering the scope of the job that you are planning to go for. Just be honest.
In any event, whether or not you get this job, you will get more experience at applying for this type of work. And, if this doesn't pan out, something similiar to it might be just around the corner for you. Or, they might keep you in mind for something similar in the very near future.
Recently my counselor told me to think 'positive thoughts'. When we think positively, we put out that kind of energy, and, positive things come to us in return. When we think negatively and have negative energy, negative things come to us in return. Hold on to your enthusiasm and excitment; let go of your doubts and fears. For when you are excited about something Equus, your enthusiasm is contageous and it's very evident in your posts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Well I got my informal chat! It was very open, productive and informative - but they are looking for a man! HOWEVER one of the reasons they are looking for a fella is because many women back off dealing with men - it's the fear factor in women they are looking to avoid.
I'm personally of the belief men are as susceptible to fear as women but react to it differently, understanding that has helped me diffuse more than a few situations in my time.
I fall short of what they want, both in gender and the extent I've worked with men. This is a huge longshot but I believe I could do the job - all I have to do is persaude those offering it!!
It's not the first longshot of my life - in fact my life's pretty much a string of longshots.
In a way it's quite good knowing the odds are against me, it's helping me look at it as experience and not get too caught up in just this one post (honest... errrr..*cough*). I can't believe how I've felt these last couple of days - like something dormant waking up inside, like it's time to really get MY worklife sorted.
I'm personally of the belief men are as susceptible to fear as women but react to it differently, understanding that has helped me diffuse more than a few situations in my time.
I fall short of what they want, both in gender and the extent I've worked with men. This is a huge longshot but I believe I could do the job - all I have to do is persaude those offering it!!
It's not the first longshot of my life - in fact my life's pretty much a string of longshots.
In a way it's quite good knowing the odds are against me, it's helping me look at it as experience and not get too caught up in just this one post (honest... errrr..*cough*). I can't believe how I've felt these last couple of days - like something dormant waking up inside, like it's time to really get MY worklife sorted.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
