Should she tell the doctor?

Old 04-11-2006, 07:14 AM
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Should she tell the doctor?

I'm just curious at what point you would step to try to curb someone's drinking if their life was seriously at stake. My mom called all upset this morning. My dad got his tests back and they do feel he's got liver disease. They think it's more hepatitis, and that his liver is in rough shape in parts but still for the most part still functioning alright. They can't tell 100% until they get him in to a liver specialist. Now, the doctor is leaning more toward the hepatitis thing, he even thinks maybe he has hepatitis C and perhaps has had it for a long time. The problem with my dad and the doctors is that he's sort of Bs'ing the doc. The doctor asked him if he drank and my dad told him he used to drink alot but he cut back. That is only half the truth, he did cut back but he's still drinking everyday. Less a day but still everyday. We doubt the doctor knows that. Should a person make a call to his doctor and tell him the truth? How is the doctor supposed to make the right diagnosis if he doesn't know the whole story?

Btw, I think he's doing the lying because he is totally denying the alcohol-liver damage connection. He's telling himself that the alcohol isn't the reason it's happening. I don't know how he's making himself believe that but he is. Now that's just sick.
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Old 04-11-2006, 07:38 AM
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Your dad telling the truth or lying will be revealed soon enough. You can only lie for so long. If your mom isn't going to tell, then I don't think I would. Is hepatitis caused by drinking? Maybe the doctor was going to tell him he needed to quit drinking?

I suppose I'd call. But I'd call knowing it probably wasn't going to make a bit of difference with my dad. What if the doctor told him he couldn't drink anymore, think he'd listen?

Why doesn't your mom tell the doctor?

I hope he'll be okay
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Old 04-11-2006, 08:06 AM
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All will be revealed. I think his gig is about up with the lying. Doctors can tell these things and they are not shocked when an alcoholic tells them a lie...they are not attached like we are, so they dont believe the lies.

Do you think someone should tell?
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Old 04-11-2006, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by elizabeth1979
Do you think someone should tell?

Yes and no on that one? I'm indecisive at the moment. On the one hand, it probably wouldn't make a difference in his drinking. He's still trying to convince himself that the problem isn't coming from that. Crazy as that is, that's what he's doing. If God himself came down and told him the truth, he probably wouldn't believe it anyway. On the other hand, I do think the doctor needs all the info to make a correct diagnosis. If his liver isn't too damaged yet there's hope, although not much unless he faces the facts, that they can at least help stop further damage. The way he is now, the damage could be really rapid. They may not have time to goof around because he's not telling the truth. I do know he'd probably be very ticked if he found out somebody called.

It's a tough one. Hopefully you guys are right and the doctor already kind of knows. It could be that dad is not telling us the truth about what the doc said to him.
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Old 04-11-2006, 10:27 AM
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It could be that dad is not telling us the truth about what the doc said to him.
Aha!

Its funny that this is the way we codies act. We spin around, touch our toes, think about it, think some more, and the very thing we are thinking about, may not even be what we think it is.
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Old 04-11-2006, 11:23 AM
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my mom was having liver trouble and she is NOT a drinker. she never has been. she maybe has a glass of wine a few times a year. In any event, the doctor kept asking her if she drank, she said NO, he wouldn't believe her. oh she was mad. Finally, he believed her cuz the liver problem wasn't drinking related. Just thought knowing that might help you.
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Old 04-11-2006, 11:35 AM
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Got called away and didn't get this sent, so missed some replys, so if I have repeated, Please forgive . Am sending anyway.

My feeling is that he probably did not tell everything the Dr. said.

Of course it is not the alcohol that did this. (My cig don't cause ANY health problems ya know)

At least he got to a Dr. My suggestion is let him mull over what he has been told, which probably means he will drink and think and think and drink for a few days.

I feel Dr.'s play it safe or cool with alcohol's and males. By that I mean they don't want to turn them off on Dr's as it is too difficult to get males or alcohol's to a Dr.

Doctors want patient to feel safe going to a Dr. so when they really need help they will see a Dr. (Just my feeling, no proof, but seems when a male goes to Dr. they get every test in the book, cause they so seldom go, females tell what is wrong and get offered a tranquilizer or anti-depressant, Dr. hope that will fix us, if not THEY KNOW we will be back. Just my observations, you all have noticed I bet)

It is all up to you, just had to throw out my thoughts. Never been through this, just reading, listening, studing male brain and human nature etc.

I want very much for your Dad to be well.
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Old 04-11-2006, 11:57 AM
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I had the same situation last week. My SO had an appointment for a phusical, and I called the doc the night before and told him everything so he would know. He said it sounded like the starting of liver failyer, but of course he can't tell me anything. Also, they know when the blood tests come back, and they also know that the drinker will not tell them as much as they drink. It never hurts to cal, and give information. I wish you the best. We find out our results tomorrow!
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Old 04-11-2006, 03:04 PM
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Thanks everyone for the advice and the well wishes. I just got off the phone with my mom. My dad is booked for a biopsy next Wednesday. She seems to be doing a little better than this morning but still really worried of course. I asked her if she considered calling his doctor and just letting him know the extent of his drinking. I'm sure the doc will use discretion. She said she probably is going to call him just to make sure he knows.

The interesting thing about the hepatitis thing is that he was hospitalized for when he was a teenager for what they told him was hepatitis. It is possible he's been a carrier all this time. If that is the case the rest of us, with the exception of my mom who donates blood and therefore is always screened, may need to be tested for it as well. Apparently a person can have hepatitis C for decades without symptoms. I feel bad for my dad. He's now afraid to be around anyone, including his grandson.

Again thanks everyone and I'll let you know how it goes. I know one thing, next time I see him with a beer I'm going to have to restrain myself from throttling him.
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Old 04-12-2006, 05:15 AM
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Keep us posted!
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Old 04-12-2006, 05:32 AM
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I'm sorry for your heartache as well. If calling makdes you feel better than I guess you can call but in a sense that kind of call is insulting to a doctor. I'm guilty of calling myself out of desperation, but I regretted it later. Doctors know what they are dealing with.
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Old 04-12-2006, 06:01 AM
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Hi ((Aquina)). I'm sorry for this tough time that you and your family are going through. I'm sure that whatever the diagnosis is with his liver that the doc will advise him not to drink possibly AT ALL as I'm sure it would probably worsen the condition. What your father chooses to do with that medical advice will be solely up to him. I hope it does impact him and that he realizes the severity of it. My prayers are with you.
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Old 04-12-2006, 08:29 AM
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I think that soon enough the results will come in and maybe then the connection between the two will come together for your dad. It will not do any good for you to call the Dr., they are professionals and they will see the results of the tests and make the decisions accordingly. It is hard for you and your family to go through this and watch him still drink. I understand completely.. my mom has emphysema and still smokes. WHAT???

Be strong and all you can do is be there for your mom. You will need each other and he will need you too. Good luck. Maybe it will all turn out to be less serious than you think. Maybe it will be false alarm... and scare him into looking at it more seriously.
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