caliblondieus

I can already see this is a very valuable site and I'd like to become a part of the community. My situation is a little unusual but maybe there's someone out there just like me!

Bottom line: My girlfriend's mother nixed one year of sobriety last night by getting drunk and passing out. We had an idea this might happen as she's been very depressed lately and talking about taking enough sleeping pills to put herself under.

Our relationship is newer (9 months) but our friendship is long (11 years). At this point, I'm trying to devise ways in which to support her. There is a very serious co-dependency issue for my girfriend with her mother. Since her step-father is of little help (recovering addict himself) and her brother is 17 and spoiled by his mother, it falls upon my girlfriend (because she enables it) to fix everything.

I'm trying to figure out how much I should get involved with trying to get her mom help. I know that she was in a 30 day detox program last year at this time and that her husband was going to call around today and see what detox programs were available for her admittance. I'm not sure how far they've gotten on that. I'm going to enter the household tonight (I'm driving up to stay for an extended weekend) and I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

Any suggestions from those that have been there would be of great help.

Thanks much,
Cali

Gabe

girlfriend if her Mom does go back into detox. This will give your girlfriend time (unimpeded by her mother) to seek help for herself. Many times the people at the rehab facilities can steer family members to Alanon meetings and/or counseling. Your girlfriend is very lucky to have you standing by her in this situation. Having someone who cares about her and is willing to be there for her is a blessing. Good luck and I hope that there is a lot of healing for this family in the near future.
Peace,
Gabe

EmotionalMeg

Cali
I have to be honest in my opinion... I am not sure there is a lot you CAN do for her mother. Having been in recovery already, she KNOWS all the reasons to stay sober, and all the ways to go about it. True sobriety NEVER comes from the insistance of others. But I can tell you care deeply for your gf and there is something you can do for her. Has she been to Alanon or Alateen meetings be4? If not, find out where / when they are, and even go with her if she is willing. The things that your gf will learn there will definately allow her to cope with the situation she is in, and give her the strength and resourses to find her own way in life. It sounds like "detachment" would help a lot... Where your gf can learn to let go of the resentment / anger / hurt that the Alcoholic(s) causes in her life, while still being able to love and care for her.
Take care, and keep coming back!
Meg