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should I contact my gf's father to assist in detox

Old 03-31-2006, 10:55 AM
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should I contact my gf's father to assist in detox

she's 27 and in deathly fear of seeking assistance from the state, she's tried self detox with my assistance three times but shortly reverts back to drinking every day and not eating, rum is her drink of choice...I cant afford to send her to a private detox center but I know her father can, he does not know of her condition and I'm not sure if I should inform him or when I should. As it stands right now she's disconnected her phone and I cant get hold of her. She's done this a few times before and every time I rush over to her apartment she's fine but I cause such a commotion banging on her door I'm afraid I'll get arrested...looking for advice...thanks
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Old 03-31-2006, 11:12 AM
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Hello SJ--Welcome to SR! Glad you found us....

First, I really think your gf should be the one to ask her father for help. It is hard to do, but it really is better for the addict to be the one asking. Second, what are you doing for you? Addiction affects not only the addict (alcoholic), but also everyone who loves her. You might want to check out our Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum. There will be many people there who can relate to what you are going through and will be able to give you more specific advice.

In the meantime, hang in there!
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Old 03-31-2006, 11:20 AM
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My question would be does SHE want help? If she's not indicated that she does then anything you try will prove to be futile. SHE has to want it. As bad as you want it for her, if she herself is "unsure" then nothing in this entire world will get her to quit until she is ready....not even your love for her.
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Old 03-31-2006, 11:26 AM
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Welcome spammajamma (funny name). It's probably best that you discuss this with your gf. Telling someones parent that their son/daughter is an addict is very hard. When I told my xabf's father, he screamed at me. He was in serious denial, and it took me a very long time to get over the horrible, untrue, things he said to me. While he did apologize later, when the truth became undeniable, it was the worst experience. And I has always thought that he was a nice guy. It sounds like your gf wants help, she should ask for it. Why is scared of going through the state? I hope to see you in the friends and family section in the future. Keep us updated.
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