Lucretia

Hi there
I'm brand new to this site and I think I should be here but can't really admit to myself, let alone others that I have a problem. Firstly, I work in quite a glamourous magazine media job and I am a complete health nut 90% of the time. trouble is when I have a drink, I drink sort of compulsively and I drink and drink and drink - I feel I can't be funny enough or sociable enough when out with friends unless I'm slightly pissed and feel I need to compete socially and need to lighten up with some alcohol to do this. second problem is that i never smoke, except after about 4-5 drinks I chain smoke and make myself feel utterly sick and disgusting and like a bit of a loser the next day - that's how I feel today. I hate the entire days I lose to hangovers and when I recently took a 4 week detox diet and stopped drinking was absolutely loving having energy all day every day of the week and not forfeiting my weekend days to hangovers. The other problem is that when I drink I tend to tell people some of my secrets about myself and more recently about my husband - things I know I shouldn't be telling acquaintances and I absolutely hate myself for it the next day. Is this normal? I am in such a lonely and strange place right now and would really appreciate some advice. Finally there is a lot of pressure to go to parties and drink in my job so to make it easier I was thinking of turning up on Monday and saying I have been told by a doctor that I have to be on long-term medication for something or other. Does anyone have any ideas or advice about this? any of this? Thanks so much

Anna

Hi Lucretia,

Oh secrets, yes I told a few when I'd been drinking, that's for sure. And, it's something I'm never tempted to do when I'm sober!

Well, I have very strong feelings about the pressure to go to parties and drinking on your job, or the pressure to drink anywhere for that matter. If the pressure is just to go to parties, that's fine, but pressure to drink is inexcuseable, in my book. It's just wrong to put someone under that pressure when this is their job. My feeling is that you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you drink or not. If that's just absolutely not possible, then your idea could work. The thing is, that I used to lie when I was drinking too. It was something I learned as a survival instince as a child. And, I have worked very hard to be honest and sober. Therefore, I would resent having to lie to suit other people. It's hard to navigate through some of this stuff, but you can do it.

janeeyre

Hi Lucretia!

I think your posting on here is a step toward admitting you have a problem. Just the things you've written here are huge! You have to start somewhere, right?

I so relate to you in the drinking to try and be sociable. You'll probably find that lots of us folks with alcohol issues are this way.

I'm not any great fountain of wisdom, but just stick around here and read other people's posts, especially the "stickies" at the top of the alcoholism & newcomers forums. You'll probably see yourself in some of these! Also, it wouldn't hurt to see what sort of face-to-face support is available where you are--AA or other recovery groups. But this website, and the good people here, are true gems.

Just my opinion, but I don't find anything wrong with using a "socially acceptable" excuse with your boss/co-workers to NOT drink. Lots of us do that, or have done so.

Best wishes, and take care of yourself--

Jane

CarolD

Hi and Welcome!!

It's great to see a new member..Blessings

lulu70

Hello Lucretia--Welcome to SR!! I'm so glad you found us. It actually sounds to me like you have admitted to yourself that you have a problem, at least on some level, or you wouldn't have come here and bared your soul for us! That is definitely a step in the right direction.

IMHO--there is no shame in admitting you have a problem and asking for help. I bet you could even say you are giving up drinking for your health, and would people please not offer you alcohol. That is really the truth, right? Regardless, it sounds like you recognize that drinking is causing problems in your life.

I hope you will hang out for a while, post some more, and let us get to know you!! Hang in there!

2dayzmuse

I believe honesty is the best policy. Just tell people you decided to quit drinking because you feel better and want to be healthy. That's enough for them to know.

Chy

Yeah the deception of the addiction. Becomes all to consuming to keep up with it huh? If your ready then by all means use whatever story you like. But then again most people don't drink as we do and a simple, "no thanks, not drinking" will suffice. You own no explanation beyond that. Those day afters only get worse and more days will eventually be lost to those hangovers.... damn them. I couldn't take them anymore, I couldn't take the guilt, I couldn't take the "wondering" what stupid thing I'd end up saying or doing anymore. Can you imagine your life free of all that consuming guilt? It's possible. Good luck to you!

leviathon

You know its funny, to just say no thanks leads us to somehow feel guilty. A normal healthy person that just doesn't feel like drinking would likely just say, no thanks end of story.

My standard is response... No thanks I don't drink. If anyone questions it I either answer "I am just not good at it" or "I was just too damn good at it so for the sake of myself I stopped". Then again sometimes I just say "I don't drink" and leave it.

other option, have a "drink" that looks like a "drink" but really isn't... i.e. soda water with a lime wedge... looks alot like G&T but no one knows the difference. Just don't allow anyone else to get you a drink and you are ok.

My brother's approach is novel, "No thanks" that's it. No q and a, just "No".