Losing motivation.

Old 03-21-2006, 12:27 AM
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Losing motivation.

D told me he's losing a lot of motivation again and has been for the past week or so - not really wanting to do anything. In one way I think it's a very good sign that he's picked up on it and talked about it long before I have, he's still reading and doing his cryptic crosswords so I figured it's nowhere near the level it has been before.

All I've said to him is that he probably needs to keep an eye on it - and I will a little too. In the last week or so we've been refused a mortgage and had the house evaluated for the second mortgage and my job is seriously on the rocks so it's not as though it's been plain sailing.

I don't feel panicked, I hope and think it may well just pass on it's own. I do feel something though, just right now REALLY letting go of the crystal ball is a bit of an effort - I'm managing but I have to think about it and put effort in.

I'm off on training today so I'm glad I'll be busy and hopefully I'll be enjoying it too.

BLAH!!
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Old 03-21-2006, 12:54 AM
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Ack!

Sorry to hear this, Eq. It's good that D's recognised it - is he doing anything to try and regain his motivation? Or to deal with the stress? Sounds like you both have a fair bit of it around at the mo.

Have a good day training!
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Old 03-21-2006, 05:03 AM
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((((((((((Eq and D)))))))))))
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Old 03-21-2006, 06:41 AM
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I hope everything works out and that he stays on track Equus. At least he has been honest with you about these feelings and at least he is keeping busy.

Your doing good remaining calm and trying not to predict anything. One day at a time and all this stress you are under right now will pass too. Prayers are with you.
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Old 03-21-2006, 06:56 AM
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Equus,
I am glad that D has come to you with this and shared it with you. It is scary I'm sure for both of you. Does he go to AA? If so, maybe if he went that'd give him some strength to make it through this time.
Keep praying, staying busy and being there for him to talk to.
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Old 03-21-2006, 06:58 AM
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Minnie's right...it is a good thing that he recognized what was happening. You can only address something if you know it exists. He's come a long way, and he's probably learned a lot of tools to deal with things that he didn't know before. Take care.
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Old 03-21-2006, 07:00 AM
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I know you guys will get through this. ((((Eq &D))))
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Old 03-21-2006, 07:28 AM
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Fantastic that D is sharing and recognizing his feelings...
I think life is full of ups and downs, it's just part of living.
You guys have had some incredibly wonderful times lately,
this too will pass, put the crystal ball away, you don't need it.....
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:08 AM
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Thanks you guys!!! I've just got back from brilliant but very demanding training - I was in overdrive from start to finish. I'm now totally cream crackered!!

I think I'm trying not to react to this too much, just to have been made aware and now perhaps keep my eye on things too for a couple of days. We've had another bit of bad news today. We thought we had finally found a life insurance company that didn't ask too many questions - we got a letter today clearing them to ask his doc about lots of things including alcohol abuse and half a dozen other questions which aren't good. I guess that's why they don't bother with questions to us!! This insurance is through the mortgage broker so I haven't a clue if being refused would effect the mortgage - either way no life cover, no re-mortgage!!

My job stress is extreme right now, I'm tired as I'm typing and things will look better rested, but right now I'm happy that I'm not flipping out. I think this will pass too, I'm just balking at the thought of going with it while it does! D has got more tools now, the fact he told me before I really noticed shows that, between us we'll figure out how to use whatever we've got for whatever we face.

I just don't want it to be hard.
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by equus

I just don't want it to be hard.
If it was easy, we would all figure things out ahead of time.

Look at who you are and how far you have come in your own recovery.
Take a look at D and you will see much of the same.
As you said...you both have tools now.

You will get through any storm.
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:28 AM
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If it was easy, you'd have nothing to be proud of for getting through it!

And I know you will get through it............and you will be proud of yourself and D.

L
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:39 AM
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I know we'll be alright - I just want it easy, but I don't have to deal with it being hard yet, it's not right now, all it is now is a blip!

I should add when I say he's losing motivation I don't mean for staying sober, more doing things generally, he hasn't taken any photographs in a while - that sort of thing.
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:43 AM
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Well, put a camera in his hands and wash some dishes! LOL

(Loved the pics of soap bubbles)

L
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:45 AM
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Well, put a camera in his hands and wash some dishes! LOL
THAT made me smile!!! Not a bad plan either!

Just for you L ......
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Old 03-21-2006, 09:57 AM
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Awww. Thanks.
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Old 03-21-2006, 10:04 AM
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Honesty is huge! I'm sure things will work out as long as the lines of communication are left open and honest like they are.
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Old 03-21-2006, 10:38 AM
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I agree he is talking about it... so maybe it would be good for both of you to spice things up a bit... I personally like the lake picture.

Besides ... Im thinking its normal to lose motivation sometimes.... I know its true for me... Right now I should be studying for my next state test... but I just dont want too, that happens now and then.. So it will probably pass.

Maybe he needs something new, maybe he is more bored then losing motivation?
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Old 03-21-2006, 10:50 AM
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I think D has had quite a year and has made big strides in the last 3 or 4 months; he may well be feeling a bit " tuckered out" with all that is going on at the mo. You both should take some time to just be. I know thats easy to say; not so easy to do
We all go through phases of lethargy especially at this time of year when spring seems to be taking forever here!!
Awareness is always good though, take care.
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Old 03-21-2006, 12:12 PM
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Well I had a sleep and do feel much better!! D came home and dived straight back out to fix my car alarm key fob, some soldering and a new switches and I now don't need luck to get in the car!!

I suggested we go to the tropical house at the weekend for some piccies and he's agreed it would be a good idea. I'll try to think of something in the week too.

He knows about the insurance letter but hasn't looked at it yet or decided what to do.

What a difference a kip, some good advice and a load of encouragement make!!!
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Old 03-21-2006, 01:10 PM
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All those stressors you describe could cuase a momentary depression. I hope things get better and his motivation comes back. I think to a degree we all go thru this. Keep us up to date on things. Is he on antidepressants? sounds like depression is a problem for him to a degree. I think a lot of As experience depression.
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