doubletime

Sorry, it has been awhile since I posted. Reality has a way of hitting us square in the face! Update, did sale the house, (did not get full asking price but close) and rented my own apartment. Thank goodness for church friends that helped me move, he did not even help but after the fact said if I would have asked he would have helped. Started off I had been in to speak with a lawyer about divorce and then he promised to start seeing a counselor and wanted all of us as a family to start seeing one. I had provided him with a list, which he had asked for me to get, that our insurance would approve and had left it up to him to begin the process. He has yet to make an appointment to my knowledge and he continues to binge drink. I have received early morning calls (2 a.m.) when he is in one of his states and get the usual (quacking) of how it is mainly my fault etc. I let him draw me in the little game at the beginning after I had told him I had enough. He recently told me he had been with OW a couple of times because I told him I did not want him anymore (we had been together for almost 20 years), and what I did tell him is that I could not live this way anymore that he had to change and get help or we were finished.

I cannot keep this drama up, I am not going to answer the late night/early morning calls any longer. How does one get past the affair, not his first, he had OW right at the 10 year mark when at that time I had also told him I had enough and kicked him out for drinking then also but he cleaned up his act at that time but did not go to AA (first mistake). Sometimes I feel guilty because it is suppose to be "in sickness and health" when we take our vows but I do not want to continue on this spiraling road. I loved the person he used to be when we were first married not the person he is now and reality is that person I believe is gone and will not come back.


Doubletime



Doubletime

robina

Please don't feel guilty - who cheated and broke the marriage vows? It wasn't you!

You're right - he is not the same person you married. You're feeling the grief of a broken relationship - it's natural to feel sad, angry, etc... but that doesn't mean you need to go back to a bad situation.

God bless

Zoey

Just an understanding HUG. This is hard, but stand your ground.

As robina said, He broke his vows.

Keep comeing back. are you reading lots of posts?? Many are going through this. We just arn't alone.

doubletime

Thank you so much, sometimes we just need the understanding and support of others. It also really bites that I am going to the lawyer and I will be paying for the divorce. It also really bites that I am the one supporting our son and trying to help him cope. They try and blame us for everything and take no responsibility themselves. I have been trying to stay strong and keep things as normal as possible for our son and my sanity.


Thanks,


Doubletime