fedup1

hey everyone this is new to me.. but i am willing to give it a shot what do i got to lose.... My hubands an alcoholic... we have been togetjher for over 12 yrs and married for 4.. we have two children ages 3 and 11. i am so fed up with all the bulll. i am sick of the drinking... its like he cant go anywhere with out beer.. he is so rude and ignorant to every one he is even being mean to the kids.. he is so controlling. he treats me like a child. he yells at me and belittles me... i really am at the point where i just dont know if i can keep doing ythis any more... i keep telling myself it will get better but it doesnt.. each time i get so close to leaving i chicken out... i dont know what i am afraid of.. i am just afraid... i have been with him since i was 16... i have never ever giving him a reason not to trust me and yet he tells me he doesnt after all these years.. hes the one who was always out all night who knows where with who knows who.. while i sat at home...i hust dont know what to do.. now he is taking diet pills to stay up all night so he can drink more.. we cant even go to his parents with out him taking a case with... he is just so mean to me but yet i stay why???????? i have no cofidence in myself what so ever.. i have gained weight over the years.. mainly do to the fact that i was not alowed to go anywhere or do anything.. i just sat at home all the time.... so now hhe constantly tells me how fat i am .. and make rude comments he must think that his beer belly is sexy or something.... he shouldnt be rude to me when hes not in the best shape either after all these years of drinking....well i know i am rambling but it is nice to just get some of this off my chest... i really think it is time for me to move on in my life but i am so scared to do it....i am 28 . life isnt going to chance unless i do something about it i just dont have the courage to do it....

ASpouse

Tell him you're going to Al Anon and then go. That is the first step you need to take.

sarahlynnl

My husband was abusive mentally and physcially but it took for me him wanting to leave to decide to divorce him. I'm 38 yrs. old now and have been divorced for a yr. but don't wait as long as I did for I am just now getting my self confidence back and I was married for almost 18 yrs.

I still have a problem about getting myself to go out of the house sometimes but I'm getting better at it.

Hugs
Just remember that you need to take care of you and your kids and not believe one word that comes out of his mouth for he doesn't love himself and it is the drugs talking not him.

I hope that sounds right.

Zoey

Welcome fedup...So glad you found and posted here on SR, this is the greatest site.
Yes, please find an Al-Anon meeting, that will help you gain some courage to deal with your A, and feel better while you work on your plan for leaving if needed. Best to try 6 meetings different nights or different locations if possible to find the one that feels right to you. They are all wonderfull, but when we are new they sometimes don't make sense to us. Read everything you can on here and keep comeing back. HUGS

Cynay

Welcome to SR.... We are happy you found us.

You know one thing I have learned..... when they are saying all that to you, I think they are really looking in a mirror and seeing themselves... its not about you, its about how they feel about themselves that they take out on you. Does that make sense???

I too would suggest Al-anon, Theraphy (group) or counceling.... something to give you the tools to work with this situation. How do you think any of us know how to live with an A or fix the damage that is caused by living with and A until someone teaches us... that is the type of support and love you will get from getting help.

Keep coming back and posting ... I look forward to getting to know you