grey days... grey moods.. and being gentle with ourselves
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
grey days... grey moods.. and being gentle with ourselves
What is your favorite way to cheer yourself up?
Is it a song? A movie? A bath?
How do you take the long winter blaaaaahs and cast them aside?
quietsins
ps... for me... its cheery music, especially the dumb kinda songs like the Troggs and such.
Is it a song? A movie? A bath?
How do you take the long winter blaaaaahs and cast them aside?
quietsins
ps... for me... its cheery music, especially the dumb kinda songs like the Troggs and such.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
What is my favorite way to cheer myself up?
In the 'old days' I used to do many things - watch comedies, listen to up-beat music, call a friend that would change the focus from me to her (ok, I admit, that used to tick me off sometimes! LOL), go shopping (that worked until I got my credit card bill LOL), clean every nook and crannie in my home, etc.
But you know what I figured out? I was a master at disguising and stuffing my feelings. By doing those things, it would put off 'dealing with my feelings' until at some point, they would build up steam and blow up in my face. They would 'seem to come out of nowhere'! And, take a toll on my physical health - stomach aches, head aches, not being able to breath, severe lack of sleep and nightmares.
I've found the best way to cheer myself up was to give myself permission, and, to have the courage to feel what I was feeling, for as long as I was feeling it. I didn't try to stop crying when I felt sad, didn't try to pretend I didn't feel angry when I was angry, didn't try to talk myself out or take my mind off of being scared when I was scared, etc.
I've gotten to the point where, although I have these feelings, I've learned that by just feeling them, they don't overwhelm me anymore, or blow up in my face at some point down the road. I know they are temporary and it is my mind's way of telling me that a particular problem or issue needs my attention.
I've learned to write, vent, ask questions, take action and seek help in order to find the solution to the problems instead of just masking the feelings. I'm usually able to do this very successfully. In the case where I'm just worrying over something that is not within my control to 'fix or solve', I have s-l-o-w-l-y learned to let it go. Me? Let go of a problem???? Unheard of in the past, but I'm learning it is do-able!
My moods are much more stabliized now. Although there are no fantastic 'highs', there are also no more horrendous 'lows' either.
I'm sure this is a different response than anticipated perhaps, but, it's what worked for me. Plus, typing this helped to serve as a reminder and reinforces my new-found solutions.
In the 'old days' I used to do many things - watch comedies, listen to up-beat music, call a friend that would change the focus from me to her (ok, I admit, that used to tick me off sometimes! LOL), go shopping (that worked until I got my credit card bill LOL), clean every nook and crannie in my home, etc.
But you know what I figured out? I was a master at disguising and stuffing my feelings. By doing those things, it would put off 'dealing with my feelings' until at some point, they would build up steam and blow up in my face. They would 'seem to come out of nowhere'! And, take a toll on my physical health - stomach aches, head aches, not being able to breath, severe lack of sleep and nightmares.
I've found the best way to cheer myself up was to give myself permission, and, to have the courage to feel what I was feeling, for as long as I was feeling it. I didn't try to stop crying when I felt sad, didn't try to pretend I didn't feel angry when I was angry, didn't try to talk myself out or take my mind off of being scared when I was scared, etc.
I've gotten to the point where, although I have these feelings, I've learned that by just feeling them, they don't overwhelm me anymore, or blow up in my face at some point down the road. I know they are temporary and it is my mind's way of telling me that a particular problem or issue needs my attention.
I've learned to write, vent, ask questions, take action and seek help in order to find the solution to the problems instead of just masking the feelings. I'm usually able to do this very successfully. In the case where I'm just worrying over something that is not within my control to 'fix or solve', I have s-l-o-w-l-y learned to let it go. Me? Let go of a problem???? Unheard of in the past, but I'm learning it is do-able!
My moods are much more stabliized now. Although there are no fantastic 'highs', there are also no more horrendous 'lows' either.
I'm sure this is a different response than anticipated perhaps, but, it's what worked for me. Plus, typing this helped to serve as a reminder and reinforces my new-found solutions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 131
"I've found the best way to cheer myself up was to give myself permission, and, to have the courage to feel what I was feeling, for as long as I was feeling it. I didn't try to stop crying when I felt sad, didn't try to pretend I didn't feel angry when I was angry, didn't try to talk myself out or take my mind off of being scared when I was scared, etc."
This is true for me to. I just feel my feelings for as long as i need too, instead of burying myself in cleaning the house, the barn, the car, the garage. My house isn't as clean as it used to be, but i'll get to it. My mind is a whole lot calmer though.
That old pendulum between the highs and lows is becoming more balanced.
So when the weather gets nice, I am looking forward to riding my horses again (I haven't done that much for quite a few years, ex-Abf didn't like the "time" I took away from him) and enjoying it for once without being stressed about how much time i might be spending grooming, tacking up, and going out for a ride.
This is true for me to. I just feel my feelings for as long as i need too, instead of burying myself in cleaning the house, the barn, the car, the garage. My house isn't as clean as it used to be, but i'll get to it. My mind is a whole lot calmer though.
That old pendulum between the highs and lows is becoming more balanced.
So when the weather gets nice, I am looking forward to riding my horses again (I haven't done that much for quite a few years, ex-Abf didn't like the "time" I took away from him) and enjoying it for once without being stressed about how much time i might be spending grooming, tacking up, and going out for a ride.
been searching for the dream
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Inhaling the mountain air through my mind's eye.
Posts: 240
Cheering Up? You know I hadn't thought about it. I have been so down I don't know where up went. I think I try to put things in perspective one day at a time now. I try to do what I like to do in a day and then let the rest go where it needs to go. I really am trying to do that because I really haven't been able to find up lately. I drive, I go for a coffee at Starbucks and it is attached to a book store so I check out the self help section Hahahaha. I did that yesterday and bought the book some of you mentioned Under The Influence. I also go here this cheers me up believe it or not because we all go through many major challenges. Good question.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Spending time with my dogs makes me the happiest. I also like to go shopping in the town an hour away. After a nice drive down there, a day at the mall, and Saturday night church, I feel much better. Oh, one more thing for killing the winter blues...I love to get a month membership at the tanning salon. I know, I know, it's so bad on your skin, but even that fake sun gets me out of the winter blues.
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