Loving Yourself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: chapel hill, nc
Posts: 70
Loving Yourself
I came to Alanon almost 4 months ago. Best thing I ever did. Having issues for way too many years with a friend I felt very close too, I was really dealing with the effects of my fathers alcohlism all my life. He passed away in 1996.
Breaking it down piece by piece, thru Alanon, CoDa, and therapy, I feel I have come to a final answer as to why I have been like this. And it simply comes down to the fact that I have never really had any true love for myself. This led to low self-esteem, anger, depression, issues of control and trust, relationship problems, everything really.
Only now am I dealing with this and seeing how much I do love myself. We ALL need to do this. Make a list of all the really good things you have done, you do, you ARE, and then you'll realize how good you really are. It took me much if not all of my lifetime, but I have been given another chance in a way. I plan on using it. Doesn't mean all pain and suffering is gone, but I have a clear path, am moving forward day by day, and like the direction I am headed.
Can anyone else see themselves having been in these shoes ??? If so, I hope any of this can help. If you want a good link to start, try:
http://www.thisisawar.com/HealthLoveSelf.htm
It's a start, and doing searches on loving yourself unconditionally, you'd find so much more!
With peace,
Ken
Breaking it down piece by piece, thru Alanon, CoDa, and therapy, I feel I have come to a final answer as to why I have been like this. And it simply comes down to the fact that I have never really had any true love for myself. This led to low self-esteem, anger, depression, issues of control and trust, relationship problems, everything really.
Only now am I dealing with this and seeing how much I do love myself. We ALL need to do this. Make a list of all the really good things you have done, you do, you ARE, and then you'll realize how good you really are. It took me much if not all of my lifetime, but I have been given another chance in a way. I plan on using it. Doesn't mean all pain and suffering is gone, but I have a clear path, am moving forward day by day, and like the direction I am headed.
Can anyone else see themselves having been in these shoes ??? If so, I hope any of this can help. If you want a good link to start, try:
http://www.thisisawar.com/HealthLoveSelf.htm
It's a start, and doing searches on loving yourself unconditionally, you'd find so much more!
With peace,
Ken
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 689
I think learning to love and accept ourselves, and also feel compassion for ourselves, is central to recovery from healing. I believe it's at the core of anyone who's been affected by addiction, abuse, or emotional neglect or abandonment, addict or non-addict. Most of us have childhoods filled with critical messages that we internalized, messages of not being good enough. And it does take a lifetime to quiet those voices and begin to truly see the real self inside that is truly good enough and is loveable.
Learning to 'install' a loving nurturing parent inside has been paramount to this process for me. In my own therapy, my therapist has used DNMS to facilitate this which I've found really helpful.
best,
gf
Learning to 'install' a loving nurturing parent inside has been paramount to this process for me. In my own therapy, my therapist has used DNMS to facilitate this which I've found really helpful.
best,
gf
In Recovery
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 259
Thanks for the link, Ken. And you say you've only been doing this for 4 months? Wow.
I like the website, and see that I am drawn to literature, etc...that is in alignment with 12-step recovery principles. It's amazing to me, that so much advice out there seems to be cohesive with 12-step recovery. I don't know if the people giving the advice know it or not, though.
I listen attentively when I hear someone, either a celebrity, or other "inspirational" speaker talk; I pick up on recovery-related topics and themes.
Some people told me that I was recovering rather quickly in a short amount of time...I think I was so incredibly desperate for answers, any answers, that I held on to my program for dear life! It's been over a year for me, and I feel better than I have in my life...even better than back when I thought I felt my best.
Rambling over.
I like the website, and see that I am drawn to literature, etc...that is in alignment with 12-step recovery principles. It's amazing to me, that so much advice out there seems to be cohesive with 12-step recovery. I don't know if the people giving the advice know it or not, though.
I listen attentively when I hear someone, either a celebrity, or other "inspirational" speaker talk; I pick up on recovery-related topics and themes.
Some people told me that I was recovering rather quickly in a short amount of time...I think I was so incredibly desperate for answers, any answers, that I held on to my program for dear life! It's been over a year for me, and I feel better than I have in my life...even better than back when I thought I felt my best.
Rambling over.
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