aawife

Hi to all, I'm looking for some help, I've had a rough weekend my husband started drinking friday night (he got the sack) and he's still at it. He had psychiatric treatment 4 months ago after he tried to kill himself, paranoid delusions. During recovery he started drinking again, he'd been clean for 9 years, but stopped just before xmas. He started again on Friday, he just drinks himself senseless, passes out, wakes up and reaches for spirits or beer. If I throw them out he gets money to buy more. He fell on the tv this morning smashing it. this evening he knocked a door off it's hinges during another fall. I'm scared to go to sleep in case he burns the flat down with a cigarette. tomorrow I have to go to work and leave him here alone. Way I see it I can either give him sleeping pills tonight so he sleeps thru, or call the police so he can sleep it off safely in a cell (if they'll have him). Any suggestions?

mary85

sorry to hear that things have gotten so out of control.... did something happen that could have brought him to such a low?? ie. loss of job

aawife

yeh, he got kicked out of a job he'd only had for a week on friday. But I think this just gave him an excuse to start again. I'm worried he'll hurt himself or smash something else up just by trying to make his way from the couch to the bathroom, which is all he's been doing all weekend. Do you think it's ok to give him sedatives so at least he'll be out for the night? Instead of waking up at 3am and smashing into anything that gets in his way. Or should I call the police and ask them to keep him safe for the night? Thanks.

shockozulu

There are some great people over at the Friends and Family board. Here is the link
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...of-alcoholics/

shockozulu

And welcome!

mary85

not sure what action the police would consider to be in their relm.... If things are that bad and safety is an issue then what are the chances of you not working tomorrow?? being that he has lost his job sounds like it may be a hardship. Is there a freind that is available to help out? I don't know but I don't think think Sedatives is an answer... given the intake of alcohol coupled w/ sedatives sounds a bit dangerous.... would he be open to getting help maybe inpatient??

fishmike

call the cops... the cell is a start. Meet them outside, and leave the door unlocked. If you can tell them to say a neighbor called because they heard a ruckus. When you go to see him bring 2 AA people with you if have any of his contracts.

Remember, this is hard but he's sick right now. The only way he's going to get better is if he gets clean. Do you have health insurance? Maybe you could get him in a 30 day rehab or something?

This is really hard stuff. I'm sorry you have to go through this... I really am. Few things in life hurt more than watching your loved ones suffer. Be strong and take any help and support that comes your way.

rose petals

well--i dont know if fishmike has ever benn thru alcoholo withdrawls but your husband IS sick and does not deserve to go thru that horror in a cell--alkies are not animals--i dont know the answer.... a trusted friend or family member coming over to help him detox or take him to ER?--alcohol detox is so horrifying and hideous, that i could not IMAGINE that--i mean , i just dont think a cell---only my opinion--absolutely no offense to fishmike--i know everyone looks at this from different views and i respect all--what a tough situation....sorry...
Laura

aawife

thankfully he's passed out on the bed now, at least for the next few hours he'll be safe. I've been reading about enabling for first time tonight since being online, I was looking specifically for help for families of A's, and was a bit jolted to find my reactions a classic textbook reaction. It does bring out the worst in me, I reject his pleas for closeness, push him away, and I even hit and punch him sometimes which I'm not proud of. Nothing mega, just body blows, out of sheer frustration. I'll try not to do this again. in the meantime just wanted to say thanks guys for all your suggestions and support, and for being there. One thing I will do this week, is find a support group in my area. Thanks again.

fishmike

I should have been clearer... they wont put him in a cell unless he's commited a crime, but they can bring him to the hospital (detox) if he's that hammered.

Rose.. actually I detoxed in both, but the cell left a more lasting impression. I had to have it drilled into me to sink in. your right though.. not everyone is like that.

best of luck...

rose petals

Its all good fishmike--man, detoxed in jail before ,huh?--it is pure hell when your home --cant imagine the horror of withdrawls in jail--i bet it did leave a lasting impression!!--take care man
Laura

aawife

Well I had a great 8 hours at work, could forget about everything. Came home and he's still drunk. In last few days he's broken the telly, the door, the toilet now won't flush, and he's got bruises and scrapes all over. I'm trying to act normal as possible, not let him get to me, but don't know how much longer it's going to take him to see the light. I'm lying to his dad, but told him I won't lie to him if he calls again tomorrow. If nothing else, maybe this will work. Fishmike - the cell idea is a good one, and it worked before (well it was like a WW1 hospital detox place for all kinds of addicts) and I think it scared the sh*t out of him. It's horrible not being able to get any sense out of the person u love the most. I'm wondering if I should leave him money tomorrow before he goes out and sells something to buy alcohol. :-/