Bluntness....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
Bluntness....
If that's even a word???
Anyway, some of you who are well recovered, discovered a better way of looking at your life, stayed with your partner or not, I just want to say THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!
There are lots of you, I"m somewhat new so I don't know everyone but for example, ASpouse, thank you for being firm, direct and kind to those of us who are lost. You are so real. Minnie, you too!!! You guys have found yourself and it shows up in your posts.
Gelfing stands out as well, lots of you do. I'm just so glad you guys are here to help guide us newbies and didn't just move on.
I'm just as grateful for those who are in the middle, so close but slipping here and there. It's so nice and reassuring and helps with my journey to read and feel that I'm not alone.
I've learned from others mistakes and have come to trust in others experiences.
I'm so glad I found this place and felt the need to say this today.
I'd be a mess today if I hadn't found here. I'd be BEGGING AH back by now, I just know I would be.
Anyway, some of you who are well recovered, discovered a better way of looking at your life, stayed with your partner or not, I just want to say THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE!
There are lots of you, I"m somewhat new so I don't know everyone but for example, ASpouse, thank you for being firm, direct and kind to those of us who are lost. You are so real. Minnie, you too!!! You guys have found yourself and it shows up in your posts.
Gelfing stands out as well, lots of you do. I'm just so glad you guys are here to help guide us newbies and didn't just move on.
I'm just as grateful for those who are in the middle, so close but slipping here and there. It's so nice and reassuring and helps with my journey to read and feel that I'm not alone.
I've learned from others mistakes and have come to trust in others experiences.
I'm so glad I found this place and felt the need to say this today.
I'd be a mess today if I hadn't found here. I'd be BEGGING AH back by now, I just know I would be.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Ha ha ha ha!!! You are not going to believe this! I was sitting here after posting a few forthright posts and thinking "Hmm, I was a bit ball-breaking there. What can I do to be a bit more fluffy?" And then I saw the title of this thread and thought "OMG, I'm going to get my arse kicked now!"
I think I'm having one of those days - I think I scared my lawyer today with how hard-ball I am being. In fact, I think I said to him to tell the other side to "Bring it on".
You inspire me, sunshine. Through you I remember how it was and you keep me coming back to cheer you on, like others did for me. Makes my crappy experience worth something, you know.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I think I'm having one of those days - I think I scared my lawyer today with how hard-ball I am being. In fact, I think I said to him to tell the other side to "Bring it on".
You inspire me, sunshine. Through you I remember how it was and you keep me coming back to cheer you on, like others did for me. Makes my crappy experience worth something, you know.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
ha! It was so nice when I was struggling..."but he, then he and he, did he, does he," blah blah blha. I know I still do that lots but it was so nice to be called out on my codie-fog. I was made to think and look at something in a different light. I mean could you imagine if we all sat here just saying "he did that? poor you" over and over? This place would be awful. And it is poor us at times, there are lots of broken hearts, I understand this. It's just been such a reawakening to have those of you who "push" a bit! And I thank you for being here and not moving on. It's like belonging to a parenting message board for mothers of one year olds but now your child is two so you move on.....I'm glad that you guys are here and hope you realize, no matter how frustrating it may get to hear some of us, like myself,go on and on, how much it DOES help.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by sunshine003
ha! It was so nice when I was struggling..."but he, then he and he, did he, does he," blah blah blha. I know I still do that lots but it was so nice to be called out on my codie-fog. I was made to think and look at something in a different light. I mean could you imagine if we all sat here just saying "he did that? poor you" over and over? This place would be awful. And it is poor us at times, there are lots of broken hearts, I understand this. It's just been such a reawakening to have those of you who "push" a bit! And I thank you for being here and not moving on. It's like belonging to a parenting message board for mothers of one year olds but now your child is two so you move on.....I'm glad that you guys are here and hope you realize, no matter how frustrating it may get to hear some of us, like myself,go on and on, how much it DOES help.
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
Posts: 1,331
Thanks Sunshine, but I'm still recovering, new to this process for only 2 1/2 years and I have slips. I try to be nice, I really do and my heart is in the right place, I just don't know how to say things without saying them straightforward. Diplomacy and tact are not my strong points ! LOL If I have guided you and if I said something helpful even in the smallest way, then I am glad I said them.
Minnie, didn't you tell me a "hon" or "dear" here and there help to fluff up a post? ;-) I love to read your posts, they are so powerful! You will make an excellent counsellor someday, that is my prediction anyway.
Minnie, didn't you tell me a "hon" or "dear" here and there help to fluff up a post? ;-) I love to read your posts, they are so powerful! You will make an excellent counsellor someday, that is my prediction anyway.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
It reminds me of the reading at the end of meetings:
"We aren't perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way—the same way we already love you."
"We aren't perfect. The welcome we give you may not show the warmth we have in our hearts for you. After a while, you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way—the same way we already love you."
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Ah Jeez Sunshine...I know which one you're talking about and I had to give it a lot of thought before I hit the "post" button. Good grief, wish it could have been filled with wisdom, kind words and grace.
What everyone doesn't realize is that while you're going through your tough times, you're causing lightbulb moments for me. I laugh in acknowledgement and cry in pain because I see something I'm doing that's wrong and never thought existed in my life.
I do have a rep for being a brass buster (per my son and husband--something like, "you don't hold anything back, do you?") My philosophy is...if you don't want to hear it, don't ask. But with this site, it's because I know and understand different situations and the old maternal instinct goes absolutely haywire.
Can't find anything more priceless than words from those who love us. Ladies, you're helping me heal too. It's a 2 way street.
So much love and blessings to all of you. xoxoxoxox
What everyone doesn't realize is that while you're going through your tough times, you're causing lightbulb moments for me. I laugh in acknowledgement and cry in pain because I see something I'm doing that's wrong and never thought existed in my life.
I do have a rep for being a brass buster (per my son and husband--something like, "you don't hold anything back, do you?") My philosophy is...if you don't want to hear it, don't ask. But with this site, it's because I know and understand different situations and the old maternal instinct goes absolutely haywire.
Can't find anything more priceless than words from those who love us. Ladies, you're helping me heal too. It's a 2 way street.
So much love and blessings to all of you. xoxoxoxox
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 528
LOL gelfing....I know you know and I'm so glad you hit the button. The slap into reality, made me laugh, brought me comfort and made me see how absurd this maddness can be. the "STD or two" part really did it....afterall, I HAVE to be around for my children and how embarrassing would that be to go to the doctor and be told you have something...ugh, shudder.
anyway, this thread is meant to be mushy. I'd never imply anyone needs to be fluffy. I believe the blunt part of some posts HELPS us all heal and gives a kind push. I've never heard creul from anyone here.
anyway, this thread is meant to be mushy. I'd never imply anyone needs to be fluffy. I believe the blunt part of some posts HELPS us all heal and gives a kind push. I've never heard creul from anyone here.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Minnie, please don't get all fluffy on us.
I, for one, love how you can make such a powerful point with so few words. And I agree that you will make a great counselor. Sunshine, I agree that this site wouldn't be very useful at all if all everyone did was b**** about their A's. It's not about them, is it? It's about us.
I'm not very good with diplomacy and tact, either. And I don't come here for fluff. I come here because there are people who care enough to share their wisdom, even when it's not what I want to hear. And I come to share what little wisdom I have in hopes that it might, just might save someone a little pain.
Sunshine, it is so inspirational to see someone like you who has made so much progress since you first came here. You help us all.
L
I, for one, love how you can make such a powerful point with so few words. And I agree that you will make a great counselor. Sunshine, I agree that this site wouldn't be very useful at all if all everyone did was b**** about their A's. It's not about them, is it? It's about us. I'm not very good with diplomacy and tact, either. And I don't come here for fluff. I come here because there are people who care enough to share their wisdom, even when it's not what I want to hear. And I come to share what little wisdom I have in hopes that it might, just might save someone a little pain.
Sunshine, it is so inspirational to see someone like you who has made so much progress since you first came here. You help us all.
L
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
I personally find "bluntness" the only way to go. I usually don't sugar coat anything
I say to anyone either, and in turn, want my medicine the same way. I am forced
to look at the situation for what it is when it is pointed out to me clearly. That is why we are here to find resolution, not prolong the confusion. This site is not intended as
a b**** about our A's place to go. How counterproductive is that????
In fact if someone continues along those lines you will see the "bluntness" really
come into play. We all are allowed to wallow in self pity but only briefly, then we have
to get on with the business of living. Theres a lot of living going on here, lots of wisdom and insight. I for one do not want to be coddled and I don't want to do
the coddling ....anymore.....
I say to anyone either, and in turn, want my medicine the same way. I am forced
to look at the situation for what it is when it is pointed out to me clearly. That is why we are here to find resolution, not prolong the confusion. This site is not intended as
a b**** about our A's place to go. How counterproductive is that????
In fact if someone continues along those lines you will see the "bluntness" really
come into play. We all are allowed to wallow in self pity but only briefly, then we have
to get on with the business of living. Theres a lot of living going on here, lots of wisdom and insight. I for one do not want to be coddled and I don't want to do
the coddling ....anymore.....
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