luvroses

I heard something in a meeting this weekend that really made a huge impact on me....I just thought I'd share.

Our topic was about envy and/or trusting the process. I've noticed that many times I've been envious of others. I dislike that about myself and am working to improve my own self-esteem and be happy with who I am, but envy sneaks in once in a while.

Also, as I wrote in another post, I've just went through a break up where my ABF told me he loves me, but is in love with his former gf still. I kept wondering what does she have that I don't that makes her so special that he keeps hanging on forever. (Mainly with bashing myself.)

At my meeting, this man shared about how he is employed in this certain industry. He said he likes his job okay, but always felt envious toward this other guy he knew that had the same type of job, but got to be on the radio every day.....he would always think, "Why can't I have a great job like that--I do the same type of work. I want to be that guy." It was really getting to him and thinking that this other guys life was so perfect and his was just kind of boring. He kept asking himself why he couldn't have been that guy. Then, he was listening to this guy's radio show one day and the guy announced that he had a bad disease and was going to be gone for awhile because he had to go fight it. At that point, he realized, "he didn't want to be that guy and was glad he was himself."

The man went on to share that he learned that you never know what is going on in someone else's life. It may appear someone has it all, but in reality, everyone deals with things in life that aren't so great no matter who we are.

Anyway, it really made me think. It struck something in me and has made me not so envious of others. It made me realize that the other person my now ex is still in love with can't possibly be perfect....I don't know what really goes on in others lives no matter how good they seem to be in my own mind and that I'm not that different from other people because I have problems.

I don't know if this post will help anyone else, but it just meant so much to me what was said that I thought I would share it.

BigSis

It does. Before I started Alanon, I can remember being envious - a lot. Most of it was based in my own low self-esteem. It also lead to me being terribly judgemental, too.

At one of my first meetings, I thought I recognized the "type" of women there... ex cheerleaders, what we called "preps" - twin sweater sets types. I was so intimidated... and then I found myself getting angry. Because I just KNEW they didn't have active addicts/alcoholics in their lives. All THEIR qualifiers were sober. I could just "tell".

It was months later when I discovered they were almost ALL dealing with active addiction/alcoholism. But they had a lot more program than me, and a WHOLE lot more serenity.

This self-discovery stuff can be difficult... but once I start "getting it", it does seem to "stick".

Thanks for sharing this... it is nice to look back and see where I was, and where I am today.

Zoey

Thank you so much for shareing. As for who loves who, doesn't make sense, as it seems to be some kind of chemestry.