helpus

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Hi, I'm new here...not sure if I'm in the right place. My daughter is 20 yrs old. She was in detox last spring for crack. She completed out patient, but I didn't realise it was a big lie. She had only stopped using for 1 month. I feel like I'm in a bad dream I can't wake up from. About 4 wks ago I got a call from someone telling me she is using heroin. I confronted her and she said yes. She agreed to get help. We did the whole evaluation ect she has She was excepted for in paitent treatment this time, but she had to wait 2-3 weeks for a bed. Week one seemed OK, like she was even lokking forward to it, week 2 has been real bad. She didn't come home night after night. She would talk to me during the day like everything was fine, say she would be home and not come. She stopped in 2 days ago took a shower asked for $5 which I wouldn't give & she blew up. Said she didn't really want to go for help she only said it cuz I would kick her out. She was high at the time. I gave her till the next day to talk to her again, and see if she really ment it. She said she just didn't know. I told here I would be there to support her in any way I could if she wanted to get well, but if she didn't think she had a problem then I wanted my house key. It has been 2 days, this is so hard. None of here friends have any idea where she is, work called today looking for her, she didn't show. Her cell phone will be shut off in the next few days because she hasn't been paying her bill, her car insurence in due march 1 st along with her inpection. It is killing me to see this happen to her. I'm litteraly sick about it. I can't sleep, can't stop crying, I just need to know she's ok, still alive. Did I do the right thing?????

margo

Hi Helpus, and welcome to SoberRecovery. We have a wonderful, caring, and supportive forum for those who have an addicted loved one and I'm pasting the link below for you:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/nar-anon/

There's some "sticky" posts at the top of the forum page with some reading that you'll find really helpful. There are lots of moms on that forum who will understand what you're going through and they will support you all the way. So come on over and introduce yourself. We're glad you found your way here. Hugs!

cece1960

HI Helpus,
I wanted to invite you down to naranon (Margo's link). We have alot of Moms there who understand.
I hope you'll join us when you feel up to it.
((((hugs)))
Cece

windysan

Mom,

You can't sober up for her. She has to do it. When she's ready to quit then she might ask for help. She has to want it...really badly. Don't give her any money. Don't let her live in your house. Tell her you love her and that she can live with you once she completes a 28-day rehab program (a longer one is better if you can afford it). Be strong. Her addiction isn't your fault.

Kahlia

Hello Helpus-It is called "hittting ROCK BOTTOM" which is exactly what she HAS to do if she EVER wants or HAS to quit using drugs. I undertand this so hard for you BUT you did ALL the right things. You cannot help her use. Do NOT let her live at your house, do not give her any money-she will use it for drugs....I would have. I know it is heartbreaking to see your daughter like this but she has to come to a point where she is at her lowest-no money, no place to live, no drugs etc...then she will HAVE no alternative but to start detoxing and HAVE to get help. It is very sad thing to watch but it is better that watching her continue using. I will pray for her to hit her bottom soon and for you to be able to keep your strength to keep up. Many Blessings to all of you and especially to your daughter..........Peace and serenity....Kahlia

Done_With_It

Hey there,

Yes sweetie, You did the right thing. Hopefully her being out right now, will make her miserable enough to really want the rehab. It's very scary
when your about to change your whole life.

You hang in there, and as the others said, hopefully she is out there hitting her bottom.

Will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.

Gooch

Hi .. looks like your a neighbor.

there is some great recovery here in the Finger Lakes. If/when your daughter is ready, she will find the encouragement and support she needs.

She's in our prayers.

helpus

Thanks all, It's 6:45 and still no word, still have hope things will work out this week

Schism

Hey "Helpus" I just wanted to let you know, that I'm 20 yrs old..and Although I don't have problems with drugs..my mother is worried that im turning into an alcoholic, Shes literaly the glue that keeps our family together and sane. And Honestly I think that you're doing the right thing for your daughter, for just being there for her, and loving her, and telling her that you're worried about her and you dont want to see her end up dead because of her problems with drugs. She may not realize it now how much of a loving awesome mother she has, and how lucky she is to have that. But one day WHen she decides to sobber up. she will see that..and that you were there for her every step of the way, feeling her pain as well. I know it seems like you feel you're helpless and there isnt much you can do. but honestly U just being there for her and caring is alot. I hope that everything works out for you, and your daughter gets help.